Considerations for parents of children with obsessive-compulsive disorder

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If you are a parent of a child with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), you will be well aware of how easy it is to get bogged down in endless arguments and that you are trying to use logic to no avail. You tell your child how likely something bad is to happen, you teach her to think positively, reassure her, and try to help her.

You may be doing these things because you believe they will help your child overcome anxiety. The child finally calms down and you can both continue your day. Unfortunately, the reduction in anxiety is short-lived, and soon after the ritual is completed or you manage to reassure your child, a new wave of obsessive-compulsive disorder and suspicion begins. While desperately trying to help your child, you may inadvertently help strengthen her grip on OCD.

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What parents shouldn't do:

1. Use logic and reasoning. What the? But isn't that how we teach our children to know the world? yes. But in this case, it's not the child you're trying to convince – it's obsessive-compulsive disorder, a glitch in the brain. Do you really want to increase its dignity by discussing it?

2. Tell your child not to worry, reassure him that everything will be fine, that everyone is safe, and that bad things won't happen. It feels good to be able to relieve your child's distress, but the relief doesn't last long. OCD will always come back until your child learns to put up with it.

"The reduction in anxiety is very short-lived, and soon after the ceremony is completed, a new wave of obsession and skepticism begins.

3. Save your child by scrubbing the floor or bathroom, washing clothes, arranging items in a certain order – until they are "just right", checking that doors are locked, and avoiding getting into "bad" numbers. house. You try to help, but adapting to obsessive-compulsive disorder will only exacerbate its symptoms.

4. Tell your child to stop talking nonsense. It wasn't invented by children. It's hard to believe that it's obsessive-compulsive disorder whispering (or screaming) those things in her ear. So it's our job to help kids teach obsessive-compulsive disorder to stop. In this case, it is unfair and useless to blame the child for being the victim.

5. Penalties. Your child doesn't want to do anything compulsive, he really can't do anything about it, it's hard to imagine.

Want to know more about the precautions? Look at this reminder of what not to do.

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What parents should do:

1. Explain to your child that although these thoughts and rituals may seem strange, awkward, and abnormal to her, they are only part of routine obsessive-compulsive disorder.

2. Teach children that anyone can have stupid, strange, or terrible thoughts. It's just that people with obsessive-sex disorder place too much emphasis on ideas that don't matter. They take them too seriously. When they relabel these ideas as "garbage," they quickly lose their power.

3. Teach your child to separate yourself from OCD. Give OCD a funny and/or pejorative name and call it by its first name when it tries to bully your child. Some of my favorites lately: plankton (not tiny water creatures, but pesky SpongeBob squarepants characters) and so on. Or simply call it "obsessive-compulsive disorder."

"Obsessive-compulsive disorder requires you to wash your hands again." "Obsessive-compulsive disorder is telling you to stay away from the knife." Talk about obsessive-compulsive disorder in the third person only.

4. Learn to separate the process and content of obsessive-compulsive disorder. It doesn't matter what arguments obsessive-compulsive disorder uses to get a child to perform compulsive behavior. Still, it's very important to point out to the child that it's obsessive-compulsive disorder – malfunction/bullying/brainworm/stupid hiccup/mr. cleaning – that is talking right now. Therefore, this process is solved by pointing out the perpetrator (obsessive-compulsive disorder) rather than the content of the obsessive-compulsive disorder. Tell your child, "Obsessive-compulsive disorder is trying to deceive you again." Or ask, "Is the 'mean guy' trying to bully you?" ”

5. Explain to your child that by doing what OCD demands of him, he will only make it stronger.

6. Encourage your child to gradually postpone or change the ritual. Or better yet, abandon them altogether and see what happens. Q: "Did something you expect happened?" Or, "Is it as bad as you think?" ”

7. Explain to your child that even if she doesn't perform any rituals, the anxiety will pass.

"As a parent, you play a very important role in this process – supporting your child and helping her do what her child is naturally best at – rebellion.

8. Pay attention to the new rituals. Remember Lernaean Hydra from Greek mythology? The one Hercules was sent to kill? For every head cut off, the Hydra grows two heads. I often liken obsessive-compulsive disorder to Hydra because when a child is finally able to overcome one ritual, obsessive-compulsive disorder will try to sneak up on her and replace it with another obsessive-compulsive disorder or ritual. Therefore, it is very important to stop obsessive-compulsive disorder as early as possible when new rituals arise.

9. Take a closer look at any small victories your child has over OCD. Remember that facing bullies is very scary. If your child is able to postpone the ritual or change it slightly – praise, praise, praise! This is how you encourage your child to fight new behaviors against obsessive-compulsive disorder.

10. Find out. Read Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. There is a lot of material on the Internet, and there are also good books about obsessive-compulsive disorder (such as "Calming the Battle: The Psychiatrist Teaches You to Get Rid of the Torture of Compulsion"). This recommendation is not a substitute for treatment. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a complex disease. Most people with OCD (children and adults) need to be treated to learn to manage their OCD. This therapy is very different from other forms of talk therapy and involves exposure and reaction prevention (ERP). This therapy is particularly effective when combined with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It teaches children to face their fears and control their obsessive-compulsive disorder.

As a parent, you play a very important role in this process – supporting your child and helping her do what the child is born to do best – rebellion. Yes, rebel against a nasty brain malfunction trying to control her!