child
child
Yes
strong
urgent
disease
？
In fact, the "order sensitive period" is coming!
Chatting with a parent two days ago, the parent said: Her baby has been particularly "difficult" recently, and many things can't work like this, and that can't work.
Like what:
The baby elephant must be warm and warm next to the bear;
Bananas must be intact and must not have black spots on them;
You have to take the same route to school every day;
Before going to bed, you must wash your face and then brush your teeth, and the order cannot be chaotic;
......
Dad thinks the baby is so funny, and mom feels particularly "annoyed", such a child, how can there be so many things!
In fact, it is really not that children are "difficult", nor are children more, the reason why babies have these performances is because they have ushered in a very important and mysterious period: the sensitive period of order, in short, it is to enter the "Virgo" mode.
☆ Characteristics of order sensitive period ☆
Through the feedback of this mother, we have found that children have reached a sensitive period of order, and generally have iconic features, such as:
1, rules and regulations, the requirements are perfect
Case: Every day 3 and a half years old, the clothes I particularly liked a few days ago, these two days said not to wear anything, the reason is only that a button on the clothes fell off. He felt that this dress was no longer the one he had before, and even every morning even the order of dressing, it had to follow the "rules": wear pants first and then put on the top, if the order changed, it would be "wow wow wow"...
In addition, for the placement of toys, every day also has its own ideas, such as: when the plush toys are large, the baby elephant must be warm and warm must be the first, and Peppa Pig must be placed next to the warm... All the dolls should be arranged in order, and none of them can be wrong.
2. Have a strong sense of belonging to the object
Case: Orange is 3 years old, yesterday in the kindergarten wetting bed, the mother put the futon placed in the school home to wash, the next day did not dry, the mother took other bedding to the kindergarten, the result of the afternoon, the teacher to the mother said, orange today at noon did not sleep, make her bed, she said: This is not my bed, I do not sleep. ”
☆ Sense of order, what does it mean for children? ☆
Montessori has a book "The Secret of Childhood" mentioned that children have two senses of order, one is the sense of external order, which is related to the experience of the external environment; the other is the sense of internal order, which can make the child aware of different parts of their body and their relative position, which can also be called "internal positioning".
Share an interesting example from the book: A one-and-a-half-year-old child who, after returning home from a long trip with his parents, begins to have unprovoked insomnia and nausea. At night, I convulsed, convulsed, and cried incessantly. The whole family took turns to take care of it, and also asked a doctor for treatment, but it did not work at all. Montessori, who was also involved in the child's diagnosis and treatment, noticed a detail: the hotel they stayed in during their trip had a cot with a railing and special food, but when they got home the child slept with the mother, these were gone. So Montessori tried to use two pillows to form a vertical parapet, separating the large bed into a small bed. As a result, the child stopped crying as soon as he saw it, rolled into the cot, and soon fell asleep, and never got sick again.
Apparently, the child sleeping on the large bed has lost the sense of support given by the bed railing. This makes the child feel an inner disorder and pain.
Therefore, we would say that the child's sense of order will bring him a great sense of security.
So, how do we seize the sensitive period of order and cultivate a sense of order in children?
☆ Seize the sensitive period of order and cultivate good habits ☆
1. Non-principle issues, choose to obey the needs of the child
As long as the child's "stubbornness" has nothing to do with the issue of principle and safety, does not violate public moral standards, and does not endanger others, we may as well accept the "consistency" required by the child and obey the needs of the child. Things to take by themselves, clothes to wear themselves, elevators to press themselves... Give the child the space to explore freely, and he will also reap the joy of autonomy.
2. Help children establish an external sense of order and internalize rules
First of all, you can reduce the frequency of changing the furnishings in the home, which will help your child adapt to the environment at home. Secondly, we need to clearly tell the child where all kinds of large and small objects in the home, clothes, shoes, water cups, etc. should be placed, what can be touched, what can not be moved, what can be touched, and the things that are used up are returned to the original "position"... In addition, tell your child some basic rules in life, such as: wash your hands before eating, brush your teeth before going to bed, knock on the door when you enter the house, "thank you" when you receive gifts, and apologize for doing wrong things... Of course, the best way to educate is to lead by example, parents are the child's teachers, children are the mirror of parents, do not ignore the power of "example".
3. Find that the child has made mistakes, gentle and firm correction
If the child has a wrong "order" that needs to be corrected, or there is a "rebellious behavior" in the process of correction, such as crying and making a fuss, friends, be sure to stabilize and adjust the breath. Don't compromise because you can't stand crying, this will make the child think that "as long as I cry, I can be satisfied", which is not conducive to the cultivation of order and rules.
Set boundaries gently and firmly, see and respond to your child's feelings, and then reaffirm and reinforce what can and cannot be done. While feeling love and respect, children will also clearly understand the boundaries of behavior that parents can accept.
Raising children is never an easy task, it's more like a long and patient career. Therefore, it is better for us to wait for the flowers to bloom with love and reverence for life.
Author: QiYue Editor: Xiaoqi Review: Yangyang Teacher
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