Have you parents ever had this confusion, think that the child was very stubborn when he was a child, for example, when you go out to play, if you press the elevator first, the child will cry and make trouble; the clothes require themselves to wear, but the parents are in a hurry to put on the child, that is not OK, you must take off yourself to wear it again, and when you wear it again, you are still in a hurry...
In such a situation, don't compete with your child, and don't rush to "label" your child whenever you say that your child is stubborn and stubborn like a donkey. This is the time he has entered a sensitive period of order.
First, what is the order sensitive period
Order sensitivity refers to a very important and mysterious period in which young children are extremely sensitive to order. During this period, young children have a strong demand for the order of things, and gradually acquire and develop the adaptability to the space in which objects are placed or the chronological order of living habits, that is, a sense of order.
Second, the performance of the sensitive period of order
When going up the stairs, you can't go up first, the child must walk in front, if the adult goes up first, you must go back and repeat it; the placement of shoes in the shoe cabinet must strictly abide by the order, such as the baby's on the first floor, the mother's on the second floor, the father's on the third floor, if you accidentally put it wrong, the order is disrupted, then, the child will put it neatly in accordance with the order again; when eating, the child must eat his own dishes, if the adult helps to clip into the bowl, the child has to pour it back, and then re-clamp it again... These are all manifestations of order-sensitive periods
Children aged 1 to 3 have a strong desire to pursue the order of external things, and have almost harsh requirements for the placement of objects, the order of action, the presentation of characters, the ownership of objects, etc., and if they are challenged, they will feel uneasy, anxious, and even show extremely fierce reactions. Because young children are difficult to adapt or even incomprehensible in this period, it can also be called the sensitive period of stubbornness.
Third, the importance of order-sensitive periods
The sensitive period of order that occurs early in life will have an impact on a child's life. Parents may not feel it, but for the child, order is a need for life, just as breathing requires air, and when it is satisfied, it produces a natural happiness, which means that a person can dominate all the details of his own environment.
Human intelligence does not come out of thin air, but is based on the foundation laid by the child during his sensitive period. The same is true during the sensitive period of order, if properly grasped, it will also lay the foundation for opening up the wisdom of young children.
In the initial stage of human thinking development, there is a basic structural component of wisdom - order relationship, which makes young children in the perception-movement stage mainly rely on their own muscle movements and feelings to cope with external things, through continuous interaction with the outside world, so that the movements are slowly coordinated.
A sense of order will help the child to carry out preliminary thinking and logical cause and effect deduction. If children can obtain a good sense of order at this stage, they will smoothly form specific forms of thinking such as contrast, classification, and sequence in the subsequent operation stage. Otherwise, it will lay hidden dangers for its future intellectual development.
Fourth, correctly treat children's orderly sensitive periods
1. Correct the understanding of the sensitive period of order.
Parents should correct their understanding of the sensitive period of order, and realize that the existence of the sensitive period of order is closely related to the psychological development characteristics of young children, and it is a stage that is difficult to overcome or even not transferred by their will in the process of children's growth. In the face of the seemingly incomprehensible behavior of children during this period, try to understand more about the reasons behind children's behavior.
If the child generates reasonable needs, then parents should accept the child's emotions and try to meet their "orderly wishes" during the sensitive period of order, and conform to the needs of the development of their sense of order; For example, if he wants to open the door, the parent will close the door and let him reopen it, which will not spoil the child, but protect the child's inner sense of order.
For the principled needs, if you can't meet the child, you need to be flexible, allow the child to have emotions, release emotions, and show understanding, through hugging, reasoning, diverting attention, looking for alternative goals, etc. to calm the child's emotions, must not be arbitrary "suppression".
If parents lack due care and patience, resulting in the child's precious order sensitive period can not get the proper care and cultivation, it will make the sense of order hidden in the child's heart, imperfect and mature, slowly sink to the bottom of consciousness, laying the "bane" for future life and learning.
Second, don't let your child be out of order.
Order sensitivity is a magical ability given to the child by nature, and if the child is in an environment that hinders the normal development of this order sensitivity, the child will become restless. Therefore, parents need to patiently observe the child's behavior and performance, understand and help the child's sense of order develop.
Children will produce natural happiness because of order, and will also lose their temper because of disorder. For a child who is in a sensitive period of order, as soon as the items leave where they should be, he will quickly find them and ask them to be returned to their original positions.
If adults do not understand this sensitivity, and let the child's order go on, it will make the child have a strong psychological conflict, which is not conducive to the child's establishment of rules later.
3. Satisfy your child's sense of order.
When the child sees that certain items are placed in disorder, he seems to have received some kind of stimulation, some kind of instruction, and strongly wants to return the items to their original position. For example, if a piece of soap is lying on a washstand without being placed in a soapbox, or a chair is placed in an inappropriate place, a 2-year-old will suddenly notice it and put it back in place. Only children at this age will notice these incongruities in detail, while older children and adults rarely notice this.
A sense of order is a child's need, and when it is met, the child will produce real happiness. The sense of order also allows children to recognize the position of everything in the environment, so that children can adapt to the environment and be able to dominate the environment in details. Only in such an environment can children feel calm and happy. Therefore, when the child is happy to do something about order, the parent may wish to meet his needs.
4. Provide an orderly environment for children.
The order sensitivity of young children is often manifested in the requirements for order, living habits and items. Disruption of order can create insecurity for children, who have to divert their energies to their struggle against an disorderly environment, thus wasting their time growing up.
We are not capable of grasping the inner order of life, but we can at least do so to protect children, understand children, respect children, assist children when the sensitive period of order comes, and provide children with an orderly environment as much as possible.
Montessori believed that if the adult fails to provide an orderly environment for the child, the child cannot establish a perception of various relationships, and of course the child's intelligence cannot be constructed. Therefore, the daily necessities at home are best placed in an orderly manner, and we must pay attention to the timely return after each use. Children's things should pay more attention to the orderly placement, and parents should not change their position casually. Try not to make too many changes to the environment in which your child lives, such as frequently changing the bed, living room, living environment, etc. for your child, especially when traveling long distances, you must pay special attention. Even if you have to, give your child an adaptation period and a transition period, and prepare for all aspects of your child's possible adaptation.
For children in the sensitive period of order, parents can also guide them to pack up toys and daily necessities, which can not only make children develop neat and orderly habits, but also enable children to obtain more perfect growth space.