Zhengzhou Traditional Chinese Medicine Hall: First of all, if you want to help your child, you must first understand your child.
Whatever the psychological symptoms, it is not luck that falls from the sky. It happened to hit your home. Many mental illnesses, including depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and anxiety disorder, are closely related to the way families treat their children.
For example, some families are too strict with their children's education, and they do not allow their children to make mistakes, and they scold when they make mistakes. It's easy for children to internalize a strict attitude toward themselves, and this extreme inner self-strictness can explain many of the symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Secondly, we must express concern, actively communicate emotions and feelings with children, try to encourage children, and try to blame children as little as possible. Most children with mental illness lack emotional support and connection from family members. Please note that just caring about your child's food, clothing, shelter, and learning is not really emotional support and emotional connection. Giving children real emotional attention and emotional support is precisely the educational skills that many Chinese parents particularly lack. When the child's emotions are rarely concerned by the family, and the parents rarely communicate their emotions and feelings with the child, this parenting environment can easily make the child feel that there is no emotional connection and attachment from the heart. When he experiences more stress in his life, he easily feels helpless and withdraws, which is a causative factor for many people with depression.
Some parents only learn to communicate with their children after their children are sick, but it is inevitable that they will encounter many obstacles. For example, parents do not seize the opportunity of emotional communication, do not seriously understand the needs and emotions of their children, and need to learn more empathy.
In addition, you need to stop asking your sick child to "behave normally." Parents need to understand that their child's "abnormal" behavior is only one of their symptoms, but it does not mean that the child is stubborn. For example, the boy who messed up the table mentioned above, when I talked to this child about this part, he told me that he felt that cleaning up the table was very painful, because once he started to clean up, he had to follow very rigid rules, such as things must be arranged in a certain order, which took a lot of time to clean up the table, but now he has to prepare for the college entrance examination, and he doesn't have much time to clean up the table, so the best solution is to mess up the table.
I asked him, will the clutter of the table affect your search? "It's okay," he said. I know where I put the most commonly used materials. I just didn't use my rituals to organize them. In fact, in my eyes, the child can comply with his original compulsive rules without cleaning up the table, which is already an improvement in symptoms. However, parental demands and reproach actually push the child toward more severe obsessive-compulsive symptoms.