Today's topic, parents with two or three children will definitely have a deep feeling, it is recommended that families with two children or families who want to have a second child should take a look.
The most common occurrence in two-child families is the "mother's love battle", which is staged almost every day, especially if the age difference between the two children is even more intense.
So how should we deal with it?
First, parents must not become judges
Children in the process of playing contradictions, is a very normal thing, parents must not rush to become a judge, because no matter how to judge, there will always be a will be hurt, not conducive to the intimate relationship between them.
The most likely result is that at the beginning they are competing for right and wrong, and as soon as the parents intervene, they become competing for the love and approval of adults.
Mothers can soothe their children's emotions, such as giving them hugs and letting them know that mom loves them and sees the grievances and anger of each of them.
Calm your child down and figure out how to solve the problem. If you still can't solve it, you can temporarily separate and don't play together.
If you are fighting for toys, then put away the toys, do not play, let them negotiate a solution, such as taking turns to play for ten minutes, and then take out the toys after the discussion, which is to let the children learn to cooperate.
Second, give the boss exclusive companionship time
Many parents will find that since the birth of the second eldest, the eldest has begun to be particularly difficult to manage, and at this time we must pay special attention to and understand Dabao.
For Dabao, the love of his parents was originally all given to himself, but after the second brother came, he would feel that his parents were going to be robbed, so he instinctively wanted to win the love and attention of adults.
Parents should give the boss exclusive companionship time, this time do not pick faults, do not talk about learning, just play, parent-child games, sports, chat, reading can be.
Focus on the child's interests and give high-quality companionship, so that he knows that even with younger siblings, his parents still love him.
Parents can agree to accompany their children about a few hours a week.
Mother needs to adjust the time, balance the needs of the two children, it is best to be the elderly at home or the sister-in-law to help bring a small treasure, the mother can have more time to accompany the boss, because at the beginning of the second treasure most of the needs are physiological needs, and the big treasure is emotional needs.
Third, to meet the "retreat" needs of Dabao
If Dabao has "regressive", such as suddenly becoming sticky, or wanting to drink water from a bottle, letting adults feed him, going to the toilet and having someone to accompany him, etc., first satisfy his ideas.
And tell him gently: Mom knows that you want to confirm that Mom cares about you and loves you, so you know what you can do, you must let Your Mom do it with you, right?
Parents should not be overly nervous, just accept, quietly accompany the child, and when the boss feels satisfied psychologically and feels that he is safe, he will return to normal behavior habits.
Fourth, each child's needs are different
One of the biggest pits for a two-child family is a bowl of water flat, in fact, there is no bowl of water flat, because the needs of each child are different, such as the second child wants to eat pizza, the boss does not want to eat, and then you let each of them half, the surface seems to be fair, but it is not.
Satisfying children according to their own needs is fair love.