Introduction
These days, the parents of the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD, Chinese referred to as "ADHD") parent mutual aid group are complaining to each other, and one of the mothers' speech has made everyone feel sad: since the child was diagnosed, classmates and teachers do not understand what ADHD is, they will say that the child is neurotic, plus our child has medication, and the child now feels that he is not normal. As a mother of a child, I have a very stupid mouth, I don't know how to explain to my classmates and teachers, I don't know how to comfort my children, and sometimes I wonder if my child is really neurotic?
I don't know how other people feel when they see this passage, but I myself feel very angry! I have always stressed to everyone that do not label children, and the negative energy brought by "label behavior" to children is difficult to dispel, not to mention the title of "neuropathy", which has great destructive power to children and even adolescents.
A baby parents must take a good look at this content, teach you to correctly recognize ADHD, strengthen your inner endurance, arm yourself with knowledge, and refute the evaluation of stigmatizing your children.
#01
Admit that ADHD is a developmental behavioral disorder
First, we still recommend that parents face the truth and accept the objective perception of ADHD: ADHD is a congenital developmental behavioral disorder based on developmental delays in areas such as the prefrontal lobe and basal nucleus, which has a corresponding neurobiological basis.
That is to say, children with ADHD are not "not working hard" and "having problems with moral character", but "some abilities are insufficient and defective" in their own development. This deficiency is not brought about by family parenting, nor is it subjectively intentional for children with ADHD.
We also understand the reason why parents avoid and deny the diagnosis of ADHD - the shame of the disease. There is no shame in colds, myopia, and presbyopia, but the stigma of mental psychology/behavioral disorders is very strong. We need to overcome this feeling, ADHD is similar to myopia presbyopia, it is just a weakness that needs to be corrected.
Because the public's understanding of ADHD is still very limited, and there are even many misunderstandings, these misunderstandings of ADHD have caused the stigma of ADHD patients and family groups, undermined the relationship of trust between doctors and patients, and made some children and parents refuse to admit, delay or refuse to accept treatment.
#02
Denial that ADHD is a neuropathy
As the mother at the beginning of the article said, teachers and classmates all feel that Awa is "neurotic", the child feels that he is "sick" when taking medicine, because he does not have relevant knowledge, the mother cannot refute the malicious judgment of others on the child, cannot comfort her son, and even has doubts herself.
Here's a clear way to tell everyone: ADHD and neuropathy are completely unrelated. And the public perception has long had the stigmatization of "neuropathy".
Neurological diseases are an organic disease, not a psychiatric disease, such as stroke, neuroinfective diseases, epilepsy, Parkinson's disease, brain tumor mass, peripheral neuropathy, etc. Have you found yourself having been misunderstanding "neurosis" all along?
However, the focus of this popular science is not "what ADHD is not", but our "labeling" of ADHD. What bothers us is not ADHD itself, but our perception of ADHD. When parents, teachers, classmates, no matter what environment the child is in, is repeatedly stated that "you are a baby with no concentration", the child will repeatedly strengthen self-stereotype in the heart, and admit that he will give up on himself: I am such a bad child.
Therefore, we deny that ADHD is a neuropathy and oppose any act of labeling children. What parents need to do is actually simpler: put your mind right and face the sunshine.
#03
How to face the truth
When our parents are willing to admit that "ADHD is a disease", we can rationally deny any labeling of ADHD, basically breaking the shame from the heart. The premise of this recognition is:
Agree with the "uncertainty of children's growth" - willing to accept that Awa is also a normal child, there is no obstacle in information input/output, mainly hyperactivity, attention and control are relatively weak.
Have enough "ADHD knowledge base" - A baby's parents need a learning process to help you understand ADHD through knowledge digestion.
There is an "independent opinion" in children's education - able to open up and criticize information, parents will always be the teachers who know their children best and educate their children the most. Many parents do not have their own system cognition in ADHD intervention treatment, blindly follow, but ultimately lead to low results. We need to embrace new ideas and choose to accept them with our own knowledge.
summary
As mature adults, parents need to face up to ADHD as a disease and acknowledge that ADHD and A baby coexist naturally. When parents accept it, they can truly accept their children. At the same time, when treating children, we should take care of Awa's oversensitive heart with a loving attitude: find another angle of explanation for the child's shortcomings, appropriately amplify his strengths, and overcome the "weaknesses" caused by the symptoms of the disease together.
As Yongxin Dad in the ADHD Parent Mutual Aid Group said: When our child is diagnosed with ADHD, do not regard him as a patient, let alone label him as a future scum, accept reality, personalized problem solving, in order to enable children to develop better. How to be a good parent of Awa, from the day I got the diagnosis certificate, I began the path of cultivation.
This path of practice may not be short, and it is full of the collapse and re-establishment of family emotions, the payment and choice of family economy, and even the trade-off between career development and family companionship, how to start and adhere to this practice may be the first choice faced by every A-baby family.
This may also be an opportunity for life to give the Awa family a new understanding of the thickness of life.
This article is through
Department of Child Psychology, Xianyue Hospital, Xiamen
Deputy Chief Physician Wu Weige and Attending Physician Zheng Wei
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