"I am most afraid of meeting with my child's classmates, three or four children come together to sue my son, I really don't know how to step down..."
"My kid was always annoying at school, no one liked him, he didn't have friends, he always said to me, 'Mommy I'm lonely.'"
"The teacher said that my children like to be nosy, 'urgent and righteous' to fight with classmates in the end, it is really too difficult to serve!"
"The last time my child invited his classmates to come to the house for the weekend, they were all rejected, and he asked me very sadly, Mom, why don't they play with me?"
——Parents from children with ADHD
01, children with ADHD, why do they resist going to school
Hyperactivity, also known as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
Refers to age-inappropriate inattention, inactivity and emotional impulses in children, usually before the age of 12 years, and is one of the most common developmental and behavioral problems in childhood.
In our ADHD group, many parents reported that their children had the emotion of "resisting going to school".
In the chat, we found that parents feel that their children are reluctant to go to school, first, because they are disciplined by rules in school and are not free.
Second, because of the heavy classroom learning and homework, Awa cannot adapt.
However, few parents mention their children's social problems.
Many parents don't realize the importance of socializing until their children have obvious psychological problems.
"Friends" are an indispensable role in a person's life, and if our child's interpersonal relationships are poor, it may lead to his gradual introversion, lack of self-confidence, inferiority, and even depression.
Therefore, your child's social problems must not be taken lightly!
If the parents do not guide, the child is not aware of the problem of "no one wants to play with me" at which node.
02, how much ADHD affects children
Awa can't control her movements all day long, doesn't listen carefully to lectures in class, makes more small movements, touches this and that, and her academic performance is not good, and she is likely to be caught by the teacher as a "negative teaching material".
Peers also find them running around, talking and doing things impulsively, impatiently, not following the rules during game activities, and unwilling to be friends with them.
Over time, children may develop negative emotions such as low self-esteem or resistance, which will aggravate symptoms and create a vicious circle, affecting the mental health and family harmony of children and parents.
If left untreated, the symptoms and functional impairment of ADHD can persist for life.
By adulthood, patients may be accompanied by a variety of comorbidities that cause difficulties in school and work, family and marital problems, poor social relationships, traffic accidents, substance abuse, and criminal behavior.
At the same time, these adverse effects will also bring burdens to society in terms of education, safety, medical care, and economy.
Figure: ADHD causes different functional impairments at different ages
Therefore, for ADHD, early detection, early diagnosis, and early intervention should be carried out from the age and course of the disease.
When the patient is young and the symptoms are simple, timely treatment can avoid worsening of the disease, and establish good learning and living habits early, which can cultivate self-confidence and responsibility, and have a far-reaching impact on the future.
03. What can parents do?
As a parent, have you ever asked yourself this question: What role do you play in your child's life?
Many people's answers are money, companionship, love, and tutoring. But many people overlook that it leads children to learn social skills.
The following methods are effective, but only if you have established a positive parent-child relationship with your child.
The relationship between parents and children is positive and positive, and the more trust a child places in his or her parents, the more willing he is to be taught.
Remember that in the process of your child's education, you must let your child feel that you are on his side and think about him, and do not accuse the child from the beginning.
1. Develop social skills
When the child asks "Mom why don't they play with me?" At that time, you can use this as an example to conduct a "social review" with your child:
Step 1, discuss what your child did
Step 2, discuss what happens when your child does this
Step 3, discuss whether the outcome is positive or negative
Step 4, discuss what your child should do next time
And form a conclusion for the child to guide the child to adapt to the social environment next time.
2. Get help from the teacher
Ask the teacher to assign some small tasks to our children, such as wiping the blackboard, sending and receiving homework, and participating in the reporting of the board.
This is not arranged in a "punishing" manner.
Instead, by becoming the teacher's little assistant, let the classmates see him with a positive eye, and increase the degree to which children with ADHD are accepted by their classmates.
Please try not to criticize and punish the child in public, and avoid becoming a case of ridicule and refusal to communicate with classmates.
3. Receive regular treatment
After treatment, the symptoms of most children with ADHD can be improved.
Treatments for ADHD include both pharmacological and non-pharmacological therapies.
When treating, according to the patient's condition and specific needs, reasonable selection and comprehensive use of drug therapy, psychobehavioral therapy or individualized education projects and other treatment methods, comprehensive intervention should be carried out for the patient, so as to maximize the improvement of the patient's symptoms and social function.
Pharmacotherapy is the first-line treatment for children over 6 years of age with ADHD.
Numerous studies have shown that continued medication leads to maximum functional improvement, such as alleviating symptoms of ADHD, improving academic performance, and reducing the risk of comorbidities and substance abuse, thereby improving the quality of life of patients.
However, many parents and teachers do not think that ADHD is a disease, and they are also worried about drug treatment, "talk about drug discoloration", many children with ADHD only receive short-term or intermittent drug treatment, and even do not want to accept drug treatment, making many children with ADHD miss the best treatment period.
ADHD is a chronic disease that requires long-term treatment. The treatment of ADHD requires the joint efforts of parents, teachers and medical staff to maximize the symptoms and social functions of children with ADHD by raising awareness of ADHD and following a multi-modal, multidisciplinary standardized treatment method, helping them grow up healthily!