Children are able to take the initiative to show what we can do

If we want our children to be able to take the initiative to perform, there is something we can do.

1. Return control to the child and solemnly tell him.

Parents can make a list of which rights in your life need to be returned to their children. Be sure to write it out and remind yourself of it all the time. Then when these moments arise, you need to solemnly tell the child: the choice of raising your hand, whether to participate in an activity, and whether to go on stage or not, are all up to him. No one would force him. They have the right to listen to their own inner voice.

2. Give your child a sense of emotional security.

We need to tell the child that whether he shows his hand or not, his mother will not be angry and irritable because of this, and the mother has a little expectation of his performance, but if he chooses not to show himself, you will also respect him. At the same time, we also need to encourage the child, frankly tell him to choose to fight, there may be good performance may not perform well, if the result is good, it actually proves that we can do this well, if the performance is not good, there may be some sadness and a little disappointment, but this emotion will pass in a moment. Would you like to give it a try? Instead of encouraging, overemphasize: if you show it, you will have a good result, or emphasize that it doesn't matter if you fail. Is there any clarity about encouragement? What we need to emphasize is the unknown, all possible. You have to try to know the result.

3. Find the moment when the child takes the initiative to fight, and give positive reinforcement in time,

And guide him to share how he felt when he tried. In the process of educating children, we are accustomed to saying: don't be nervous, don't be afraid, don't be shy. In this way, the child often remembers what follows the word "no".

So after paying attention to your child's gut-and-try behavior, try to say something like this:

You tried today..., really special with courage

You tried today..., and I'm especially proud of you

I found out today you... Later, it looks very happy

I found out today you... Later, it seems to be very satisfied

As far as possible, don't pay attention to the results, don't ask:

Did you answer today's question correctly?

Did you win the game?

Did you raise your hand to answer the question today? What other children in the class also raised their hands? Who answered best? Did the teacher praise you?

Chatting like this will make the child feel that what you are focusing on is the result, not him.

So, if you want to ask a question, ask as much as possible:

How did you feel when you answered the question today?

Would you like to tell me about today's game?

4, must find what children like, desperately to develop it, so that this hobby can become a kind of capital that children can be proud of.

For a cautious person, what is willing to perform must be particularly special and certain. So, if we want our child to be positive in most situations, we must first have an area where he is particularly confident. In this way, this successful experience when the skill is confident will lead to skills that are not confident in the first place. In those moments that do not need to be performed, help your child practice more at home in advance to increase the likelihood of success.

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