Text/Su Xin
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Some netizens asked such a question: "What is the experience of having a very calculating mother-in-law?" ”
A netizen said helplessly: "Very disturbing, every word she said is insinuated, yin and yang weird." ”
The mother-in-law relationship is known as one of the "five pain points of married life" and is also the most headache-inducing relationship in these five pain points. The quality of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law actually depends entirely on the character and quality of the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law.
A friend met a very calculating mother-in-law before marriage, originally the two families have been negotiated, the in-laws make a down payment, the mother-in-law pays the decoration money, and then the mortgage is repaid by the two newcomers themselves.
But the day before the down payment, the mother-in-law changed her mind, she decided to let the mother's family make a down payment, and the future mortgage was repaid by the in-laws, and it was said in a beautiful name, so that the in-laws still took the big head, and the mother-in-law's family did not lose.
Friends understand that this is the mother-in-law who did not know where to hear rumors, worried that they will change after marriage, and doing so is clearly to prepare for the stop loss in advance.
In the face of the insincerity of the mother-in-law, the friend responded that the mother's family can also take the down payment, but the real estate certificate must write her parents' names, and then change the name when the mortgage is paid off.
How intimidated by a friend, the mother-to-be was dumbfounded.
Many times, the family relationship is not harmonious, because you obviously want to really get along with each other, but helplessly, people hide a calculating heart to compete with you.
This experience is very bad, just because of this calculation, the mother-in-law did not really regard the daughter-in-law as her own family, so how to get along with such an insincere mother-in-law?
Someone once proposed a classic "three laws of the workplace": either endure, or be fierce, or roll.
This means that if you encounter a bad situation brought to you by a leader or colleague in the workplace, you can be patient for this job of settling down, but if you don't want to endure it, then you have to become stronger and stronger than the other party, but if you have no way to fight them and don't want to endure, then leave quickly.
For the mother-in-law who does not treat each other sincerely, this law should also be tried.
01 Stay away
If you think that your marriage with your husband is no problem, and his attitude is also very clear, but because the mother-in-law is the elder and the mother, then look at her hard work to raise your husband to grow up, let her bear with her for the time being, after all, the last person to live with you is this man.
In this case, you just need to do a good job of counting in your heart, respect it, avoid conflict with it, distance can resolve all contradictions, and you have to understand that as long as your husband's heart is with you, then the mother-in-law is even more skilled at calculation, and in the end, the little things she calculates are not all yours.
Respect and stay away, well deserved is a very clever approach, the saying is good: "distance produces beauty", as long as people do not have close contact, there will be a lot less trouble, even if she still wants to calculate your ideas, you will also reduce a lot of unnecessary contact because of distance.
Another friend of mine told the story of her personal experience, she and her husband were naked marriage, before marriage, her mother-in-law promised her that when the conditions were better, she would sponsor them to buy a house, but the friend waited for five years, the children were four years old, and they still lived in the rental house.
Once she mentioned the purchase of a house, but at night she saw the WeChat secretly sent to her husband by her mother-in-law, who said that the money for buying a house still had to be raised by the woman, although the husband did not make a sound, but the mother-in-law's words were also very infuriating.
So the next day she returned to her mother's house with her child, and with the help of her family, she bought a second-hand house from a relative at a low price.
Once she had a grudge against her mother-in-law's calculations, but she lived far away, and gradually forgot the unhappiness between them.
There is a saying that "can't afford to hide", in fact, this kind of avoidance is not to admit it, but for those things that do not need to compete, it is best to ignore it and stay away.
Just like the matter of a friend buying a house, although she also feels very unfair in her heart, she avoids family conflicts, and at the same time, because she is willing to "admit it", her mother-in-law still feels that she owes her a little, so she will buy some things to see her and her children from time to time.
"Taking a step back from the sea and the sky" can sometimes really solve many contradictions, and in the face of those who have intentions, there is no need to confront each other head-on, and staying away is the best strategy.
02 is stronger than her
The masters in martial arts novels have a way to defeat the enemy with one move, and use the other way to return the other body. If the other party uses any method to attack you, you must use the same way to deal with her, provided that you must do more fiercely than him.
In the first half of my life, when Ling Ling, who was successful in the upper position, looked for Luo Zijun and wanted to return to Chen Junsheng's big house, He Han, who was in the dark, said to Luo Zijun, she is weaker than her, you are weaker than her, and if she is strong, you are more powerful than her.
Under the guidance of He Han, Luo Zijun finally did not fall into Ling Ling's trap.
In fact, this trick is to pinch human nature, and the way she is good at the whole person is actually what she herself fears.
In the TV series "The Temptation to Go Home", Lin Pinru used this trick. At the beginning, the virtuous and well-behaved Lin Pinru encountered all kinds of difficulties in her in-laws' house, and her mother-in-law bullied her unscrupulously, although Lin Pinru was nominally her daughter-in-law, but she became a nanny for others to drink and drink.
Pin ru carefully prepared three meals a day, not only did not get the approval of the in-laws, but also always picked and chose by them, when Pin Ru learned that her husband Hong Shixian cheated, the mother-in-law was unprincipled to side with her son Hong Shixian.
And Lin Pin, who returned from the counterattack, changed her previous weakness, she no longer cooked, on the contrary, she forced her mother-in-law to cook, the meal was appetizing, and she simply buckled directly on her mother-in-law.
The mother-in-law, who had never been abused, had no way to take this "vicious" daughter-in-law, and could only swallow her anger, who let her bully others like this before.
When your patience can't be exchanged for the other party's sincerity, then try to be fiercer than her.
03 Leave completely
There's a saying that goes it well: "You can never wake up a person who pretends to be asleep." ”
If you want to sincerely influence a person who calculates you, but find that the other party has repeatedly used your kindness, then you must recognize a reality, that is, the other party will not be moved.
When you meet this kind of person, there is really no need to leave enthusiasm to her anymore, it is not worth it.
I have a friend who finally chose to divorce under the calculation of her husband and mother-in-law. She said that instead of living in the calculation of a hypocritical marriage, it is better to live a simple single life, and it is really unnecessary to get along with some troublesome people, which is a consumption of life.
Premier Zhou once said: "People who think they are smart often do not have a good ending, and the smartest people in the world are honest people, because only honest people can withstand the test of facts and history." ”
Marriage is regarded as a destination and a harbor by most women, but in marriage, if you are not treated with sincerity, it is really better to leave early.
END.