Educator Vonnasky said: "What a child becomes depends on the parents to shape." "We all hope to cultivate children with high IQ and ability, in fact, children have a good character, which is also a very important part of family education."
If our child is a gratitude-deprived, cold-natured person, neither he nor his family life will be happy.
When the child grows up, he does not understand gratitude and is cold and thin, which is the sadness of his parents
In our hometown, there is an old man surnamed Zhang, who lived to the age of 96, but spent her whole life in painful thoughts.
The old man has three daughters and a son, and is now in his 70s, and we only know from the old man's description that he has not seen real people, because he has never returned home since he went out to work.
Grandma Zhang's son was very smart since he was a child, and after he graduated from high school, he went to his relatives in Shandong, where he joined the work and later became a family. At first, he would contact his family, but then he didn't hear from him, and he didn't even come home when his old father died. The old mother once thought that her son was no longer in this world, but did not expect him to suddenly return.
It turned out that the son came back to deal with some of his own problems about the household registration, and Grandma Zhang said that she would not let her son go this time and did not want to be separated from him. The son was helpless, so he said to the old mother: "The work over there is very important, so you might as well go back with me!" The old mother gladly agreed, and the son led his mother to the bus station, saying that he would go to buy some food, and then disappeared in three swings and two shakes, leaving the old mother standing alone until dark and not waiting for the son.
Later, the three daughters took the old mother home, and then took turns to support her, until the old man died, and did not see the last side of the son.
The mother is the dearest person in the world, and the child does not feel guilty about the mother for many years, but asks, does not support? Maybe that's what we often say, some people's feelings can be automatically shielded, and they are born with a cold nature.
Most people with a cold nature are problems with acquired education.
Is a person with a cold nature born, or is the influence of acquired educational factors on him formed? I personally feel that most of the people in our mouths are cold and thin, because of the influence of acquired educational factors.
If a child is more indifferent to his parents and relatives from a very young age, such as one or two years old, it may be naturally more rational and indifferent.
If the child is very close to the parents when they are young, and when they grow up, they hate their parents, ignore their parents, and even some people will hurt their parents, most of this situation is because of some problems in the education process of their parents.
People with a cold nature may appear these two characteristics when they are young, and if you find them in time, it is not too late to correct them.
First, children are particularly selfish.
There are fewer and fewer children, and parents regard their children as pearls in the palm of their hands, and they have also cultivated some particularly selfish children. We see some children, when the parents' ability is not enough to pay for her consumption, they speak harshly to their parents, and even fight hard. Among them, some children have already achieved good results, elites who study abroad, of course, there is no problem with IQ, that is, the personality is too selfish.
Regardless of whether their parents are old or not, whether they can eat and dress warmly, and only care about whether they can enjoy life. Therefore, if the child shows a more selfish and selfish quality from an early age, parents should be careful not to use their life's efforts to cultivate a white-eyed wolf who does not understand gratitude, which is very terrible.
Second, children are particularly rational and indifferent.
There are also some children who show a particularly rational mentality, such as when their parents quarrel, and he is indifferent to his mother's crying. The child said, "Anyway, I can't manage it, I should eat when I should eat, I should watch TV when I should watch TV, and I should sleep when I should sleep." ”
Even if it cannot be managed, people's emotions cannot be pretended, if their relatives are sad, the child is quite rational and indifferent, which can only mean that the child does not communicate with their hearts.
When you are sad, does the child feel sad? If your feeling is that the child doesn't care at all, it also indicates that the child is a cool person.
Human emotions are the most unconcealed, even if they cross the mountains, rivers and seas, if the child loves you, it can also be expressed. Of course, we are not willing to let our children become cold people, and parents must do the same when educating their children.
First, parents should not spoil their children and cultivate their children's selfish character.
Many children do not love their parents because their parents love them too much. The child enjoys special treatment in the family from an early age, and he will feel that this is deserved, and there will be no little gratitude. When what you give doesn't meet your child's needs, your child will also feel resentful.
Second, parents should accompany their children more and let their children feel loved.
Feelings need to be cultivated slowly, even if there is the closest blood relationship, if you have too little companionship with your child, your child will not be too close to you. We make money for the child, behind the scenes of silent pay, the child is not felt, parents to let the child feel your love, the child's heart can give a response.
Third, the growth of children, parents should gradually withdraw.
Many children will turn against their parents when they become adults. I think there is a problem with the quality of the child, but parents should also reflect on their own problems. When the child grows up, we should gradually withdraw from the child's life. Parents who always want to dominate their children's lives are more likely to have conflicts with their children.
Let the child grow up in love, become a person who will love, and encourage!