How do boys with high emotional intelligence chat with girls?

Hello, everyone, I'm Li Shugen.

Recently, many friends have asked me what to do when I am nervous when I talk to girls.

Well? I wondered if my friends had made progress, and girls could talk together.

Tree roots I will teach you how to deal with this tension today, I believe that friends must be able to use it, right.

We first need to understand why we are nervous.

If everyone is facing a girl who has a good feeling.

From a shallow level, it is nothing more than that you care too much about the image in front of her and pay too much attention to this matter.

So I put a lot of pressure on myself, which led to abnormal play.

At a deep level, it's actually related to male instincts.

You should know that in order to continue the genes, courtship is the instinct of animals in nature, especially for males.

When faced with the opposite sex you want to pursue, instinct will make you secrete adrenaline in your body, making you nervous and sweating.

This is tantamount to a warning in disguise, reminding you that she is important to you, allowing you to seize the opportunity and perform well.

For some boys, this may be a good motivation to pursue, but for most honest boys, it seems to only play a negative role.

There is also a situation where you are nervous in the face of any girl.

Put aside the possibility that you will treat every girl as a courtship object, and the psychological shadow brought by the original family.

This situation occurs because you have too little contact with the opposite sex, the strangeness causes the alarm of facing danger, and the adrenaline begins to secrete at the same time, which makes you nervous and cramped.

So how do we overcome these tensions?

In the face of the friend who is nervous about the girl he likes, a strong psychological hint that he should not be nervous may not play much role.

Even, it will get more and more nervous.

I've already said why I'm nervous, so let's deduce another layer that the signal it sends is actually to 'get'.

Our problem is that we want it too much, but we know that we can't get it, which leads to low availability.

Now that the solution is out, if you want to relieve tension, you can improve availability, enhance your attractiveness to girls, and with confidence, you will naturally not be so nervous.

Tree roots I have taught everyone how to improve themselves before, the method is not difficult, as long as you use a little snack, you can learn, friends in need can look back.

As for friends who are nervous in the face of girls, I can only suggest that you have more contact with girls.

However, don't think about the object first, just talk to them as same-sex friends.

Don't think that you can't find a girl who can talk, there are many opportunities to cut in life.

For example, to help them a little favor, to pick up something at will, are small means to open the topic with girls.

Then, friends must understand that the change of mentality is not only about self-suggestion.

The key is to act, and only by acting will experience be gained, and the accumulation of experience is an important way to build confidence.

So be sure to try, don't blindly dodge, once you have confidence, many problems will be solved.

Finally, it is necessary to say to everyone that tension is not necessarily a bad thing, and we sometimes have to know how to accept our own tension.

Many girls have said that they do not care about the nervousness of boys.

Even, some girls will feel that boys who are easy to get nervous are very cute, very pure, and have a good feeling for them.

Moreover, a girl who is still kind to you and does not dislike you when you are too nervous to be overwhelmed is more likely to be warm and kind.

Girls who laugh at you because you're too nervous may not be for you.

In terms of mentality, we can think like this, if she also likes you, then this tension can become a small love interest between the two of you.

If she doesn't like you, it doesn't matter if you're nervous or not, your focus should still be on how to improve your attractiveness to her.

Well, that's all there is to say today.

In order to solve the "courtship" difficulties of the two friends mentioned above, I summarized different treatment methods.

One is how to skillfully expand the topic, and the other is how boys can improve themselves.