Nowadays, people's concept of marriage and love is more open and inclusive, and the age difference between the couple is no longer the focus of people's attention. However, for families with plans to have a second child, the age difference between the couple is likely to affect the quality of life of the second child in the future. Although it is said that after the liberalization of the two-child policy, couples have the right to have a second child, but if the age difference is too large, then it is likely to increase the risk of fighting for a second child.
Xiaolin is 35 years old this year, and after giving birth to Dabao at the age of 32, she recently suddenly moved her mind to have a second child. "People say that the two children are the happiest two-child families with a difference of 3-6 years old, although I am at risk of becoming an elderly mother now, but it is actually good to have two children to accompany!"
Although Xiaolin has a great vision for the life of the second child, Xiaolin's husband is a little hesitant. "I'm 7 years older than you, and by the time my second baby was born, I was 43 years old, and I'm really not sure if I have the energy to take care of you two!" Although her husband was hesitant about Xiaolin's idea of having a second child, after all, the problems he was worried about did exist.
When Xiaolin married her husband, who was 7 years older than herself, it was because she felt that "the man's age knows that it hurts!" But now in the matter of having a second child, the age difference between the two people has indeed become a "big obstacle" in it. Although Xiaolin's husband has reached the middle level of the enterprise, the family's economic conditions should be able to withstand after giving birth to a second child, but Xiaolin does not want to become the main force with two children.
"If the child's father can't have enough energy to help share the pressure of having a child, then I will not become a widowed parenting." Having a second child is for the sake of a happier family life, and if you make each other tired because of this, it is better to have only one child! Thinking of this, Xiao Lin's impulse to fight for a second child was not so strong.
01 If you want to not affect the quality of life of the second child, the age difference between the couple is best in this range
The optimal age for women to have children is 22-29 years old, and if they have children after the age of 35, then women will become "advanced mothers", which means that they have to bear greater fertility risks. At the same time, the optimal age for men to have children is 30-35 years old, when they have higher quality sperm. Therefore, from the perspective of eugenics and eugenics, when giving birth to the first child, the difference between the couple is not more than 7 years old.
In the face of the consideration of the problem of the second child, the age difference between the couple should be shortened. This is mainly because, whether from the perspective of family economy or from the perspective of parenting energy investment, when men have economic strength and strong energy, the happiness of the second child life will be guaranteed. Therefore, from the perspective of physical function, it is best for men's second child age not to exceed the threshold of 40 years old.
Generally speaking, in two-child families, the age difference between two children is 3-6 years old, which will not affect the cultivation of brotherhood and sibling affection, and will not make parents feel weak. Then if a woman gives birth to a child at the "tail" of the optimal reproductive age, and then fights to have a second child at the 35-year-old birth threshold.
Therefore, couples who want to have a second child are best to maintain an age difference of less than 5 years old, so that they can accommodate women's fertility and men's parenting ability as much as possible. With such a perfect collocation and tacit cooperation, the quality of life of the second-child family will naturally not decline.
02 Before having a second child, what should the couple consider?
Before having a second child, couples should keep a calm and rational mind to anticipate the problems they may encounter after life. The original family model will change dramatically after the birth of the second child, and whether parents can afford to raise two children is a prerequisite for whether they can have a second child. This includes, but is not limited to, whether the family will be downgraded in consumption, who is responsible for the daily care of the child, and so on.
At the same time, the couple should also consider the difficulty coefficient of the second-child family education. For example, how to change Dabao's psychology when he is hostile to Xiaobao's arrival, and how to deal with contradictions and differences between two children. If the parents cannot agree in education, then the life of the second child will certainly be a chicken feather.
In addition, when one of the couples must have to return to the family because of the birth of the second child, whether this aspect of the effort will be affirmed and appreciated by the partner, which also determines to some extent whether the second child's life can be happy and smooth. If the returning party cannot get the respect and value recognition it deserves, then the decision to have a second child will lay the groundwork for subsequent family disputes.
Although most middle-aged families have the economic strength to have a second child, the birth of a small life not only requires parents to create sufficient material conditions for them, but also needs parents to give them a stable living environment, a loving growth atmosphere and intimate parent-child companionship.
Conclusion: The greater the age difference between couples, the more they have to maintain rational thinking about having a second child. Only when both sides have sufficient conditions and countermeasures, the quality of life of the second child can be guaranteed.