It's hard to be a parent, it's really an artistic job!
There are billions of people in the world who are parents, but they are the same parents, godsons are different, the process is very different, and the results are very different.
The position of parents is really a job that cannot be standardized, creativity and flexibility, rigidity and flexibility, wisdom and courage, love and energy at the same time, it can be said that parents in the world are artists, the difference is only the child's quality, and the parents' skills.
Caring for the healthy growth of children, it is really loose, and tight, too loose children will go astray, too tight will make children confused, parents have to be between loose and tight, between tolerance and intervention, artistic creation. Without tolerance for children, there is no parental creation.
So, what is inclusion with children?
Tolerance, to put it bluntly, is that parents obviously see that there are problems in the growth of their children, but the time to solve them has not arrived, first tolerate, wait and see, and be clear in their hearts, so that the problems are conceived and exposed, so that the child's attitude towards parents seems to be aware and unaware. Once the time is ripe, the magic trick is reasonable, the timely compliance, the stability is accurate, the details are thorough, the child is convinced, with tacit understanding, the implementation of the solution is not discounted, and the problem is eliminated in a few days.
So, how can parents develop good habits of being tolerant of their children?
First, clarify the essence of inclusion
Tolerance, not temporary laissez-faire, nor permanent acceptance, is a conscious compromise and concession, seeking common ground while reserving differences, and temporarily accommodating problems that exist in children that have not yet arrived at the time of resolution, and problems that need to be solved in the process of growth, and put them in a longer period of time to solve.
The essence of inclusion is to bide the time and solve problems as children grow.
Second, understand the boundaries of inclusion
Tolerance is not the same as coddlery, not equal arrogance, there must be boundaries, limited.
Principles are the bottom line and boundary of children's healthy growth, and children must be guided to be full of reverence for principles.
The child's behavior exceeds the principle, resolutely and decisively intervenes, does not give in, and immediately corrects it.
Third, clarify the content of inclusiveness
What to tolerate is to tolerate children's personality problems, emotional problems, cognitive limitations, words and deeds and bad habits of life, these characteristics cannot be changed at once, so we must first tolerate and then gradually correct.
The process of children's growth is actually a process of children's continuous trial and error correction.
Fourth, control the rhythm of inclusion
First of all, it is the parents who perceive the child's problem and do not react at all, and the child does not feel the parent's awareness at all.
Second, it is the parents who perceive the child's problem and use body language to respond, and the child feels that the parents perceive that they have a problem through the parents' body language, and begins to think on their own.
Moreover, it is the parents who perceive the child's problem, concisely point out the problem, and urge the child to think.
Finally, it is the parents who perceive the child's problems, comprehensively and thoroughly analyze the problems, put forward clear suggestions for improvement, guide the children to make improvement plans, and give them a long enough time to encourage the children to change step by step.
The length and pace of the inclusion process depend on the time and the specific problems are treated specifically.
Fifth, practice tolerance
This year, patience is lacking, the core reason is that there are three, corresponding to the cracking of the recipe there are three tricks.
One is only the result, not the process. Everyone rushed to the results, impatient with the process. But as long as everyone only knows, there is no process, where is the result? Without cause, where is the effect? Therefore, changing the misconception that as long as the result is not the process, focusing on the process, enjoying the process, patience will naturally increase.
Second, there is not enough energy. People who lack energy have no patience. Therefore, reserving energy and keeping enough energy is a good way to maintain patience.
The third is disrespect. If you don't respect what you do, if you don't respect the people you live in, you will naturally have no patience. Therefore, to maintain respect for people and things, there will naturally be patience. Accompany your boss for hours to be very patient, accompany your children for half an hour without patience, what is the reason, lack of respect!
Patience with children, mainly for the temporary tolerance of the problem, do not help do not forget, neither to pull up seedlings to promote, nor to let go, put in a longer time span, patiently give children enough guidance, help children to make amends, healthy growth.
For example, a child's bad habit can take months to half a year to completely correct, a process that requires great patience from parents.
Sixth, load, pretend to be patient
If the parents are too tired at work, really impatient, encounter the child's inquiry and consult, encounter the child's repeated mistakes and bad habits do not change, please pretend to be patient, do not let the child perceive that you are impatient, otherwise it will make both sides collapse.
In this world, many beautiful things, at the beginning, did not have the courage to do, they all thought they could not do it, but pretending to do it, identity first, posture first, feeling that there was first in place, doing and doing it.
This is the typical Being-Doing-Having principle, which is the Law of Attraction.
7. Use the seven steps to practice, practice and practice again
There is no kind of kung fu in the world, you know and understand that you can get on the body, you can have.
Good kung fu is practiced, tolerating children's kung fu is to nurture children's kung fu, you have to practice!
How to practice specifically? Use the Seven Steps to Practice!
What is the seven-step cultivation exercise, as mentioned dozens of times before.