Pee pants in public encountered by the mother-in-law reprimand, roaring and scolding education how to solve
On December 12, in a children's playground in Dalian, Liaoning Province, a little girl accidentally wet her pants, and the girl's mother saw this situation not only did not deal with the problem of peeing pants in time, but instead shouted at the girl in public and even violently attacked the girl, according to the video on the scene, there are many tourists watching in the process of reprimanding and scolding the child, and more playground staff came forward to try to stop the lady, but the lady not only did not give up. Instead, he pointed the spearhead at the surrounding masses and dissuasive personnel, and while reprimanding the girl, he did not forget to refute and insult other dissuasive personnel. The on-site mediator, Ms. Yu, tried to help the girl clean up and change her pants during the stop, but was also stopped by the mother, and even pushed the woman to the ground. The whole process lasted about half an hour, and the girl's mother took the girl away from the scene after changing her pants for the girl.
From this matter, it is not difficult to see that as a girl in the amusement park crowded with people, peeing pants is a difficult thing to say, children are in the period of self-esteem establishment, and the self-esteem consciousness that has just sprouted is easy to have a certain frustration because of "peeing pants". In this case, as a mother, she should respect the child's self-esteem, understand the child's embarrassment, and resolve the contradictions for the child in a timely manner, alleviate the embarrassment and deal with the problem, but the mother in this incident is doing the opposite, from verbal scolding to behavioral scolding, and does not leave a trace of face to the child.
Since the beginning of the new century, people's educational concepts have become more and more open and soft, and the parenting concept of filial piety in traditional society has become more and more unacceptable to people. In fact, the strict educational atmosphere and care for children are not in conflict, especially for young children, psychological development is no less important than physical development. For the embarrassing situation of peeing pants in public, parents should go to comfort their children, not to mention the winter of the incident, the cold weather in the northeast, wet and cold pants can easily cause harm to the child's body, at least leading to great discomfort to the child. If you have to endure the scolding, beating or even insult of your biological mother in this situation of psychological and physical discomfort, how much psychological shadow will be left on the child? It can be predicted that in this educational atmosphere, children will live more trembling, like walking on thin ice, and when they grow up, they will need to spend more effort to get rid of their unconfident personality problems.
In fact, China has long begun to advocate the psychological education of children, and the Marriage and Family Psychological Guidance Center of the Institute of Psychology of the Chinese Academy of Sciences has raised concerns about the serious harm caused by parents beating and cursing their children. The behavior of scolding the child and disregarding the child's self-esteem is a very serious blow to the child's sound personality and good interpersonal relationships, similar to the psychological harm and trauma caused to the child by this incident, and even take a lifetime to make up. So how can we avoid this kind of roaring, scolding education that ignores children's self-esteem? I think it is still necessary to start from the following points:
Family help is available. Government departments should establish family hotlines, cooperate with social welfare organizations to help The psychological growth of Chinese children, and provide certain platforms and channels to relieve children's emotions, so that children can have a place to solve problems when they encounter unfair treatment or are in a bad mood because of their parents' education problems.
"Introductory" education for parents. In recent years, the phrase has become popular on the Internet, that is, "not all parents are qualified to be parents." When a couple becomes a parent for the first time, their mood must be tense, and in their future education, they often use the way of crossing the river by touching stones, or using their own form of education, which is more or less unscientific. China can promote the development of public lectures on parenting for newlyweds, help parents understand the correct way of education, and really pay attention to the focus of educating children.
Implement the right approach. Children's psychological education is important, and in order to achieve psychological care, parents must master new methods. At present, the two-step method is commonly used in the theory of children's psychoeducation, that is, talking and acting. Talking is that parents should understand their children's psychological trends in time and find the right opportunity to talk to them. Action requires parents to truly understand their children's needs and meet reasonable needs. At the same time, parents themselves also need to have psychological control skills to avoid being unable to contain their temper like the mother in this incident. The first step is to use methods that can calm the mind when feeling the impulse coming up, such as looking up, taking a deep breath, and meditating. The second step is to think about whether you are wrong, where you are wrong, and whether you have a way to solve your conflict with your child. The third step is to leave the scene if there is no good way to do so and then find another solution.