It is the fault of the Father not to teach; the way of teaching must be explored

Where there is oppression, there is resistance.

Whenever we fight a hot war or a cold war with our daughter, we actively work hard, and she passively resists or actively defends, and there is no fatherly kindness and filial piety at all. I couldn't help but think of myself.

When I was a child, I was also very naughty, so I was not disciplined. After being criticized and educated, I was "unscrupulous", and my nature was even wilder. Fortunately, he liked to read, and later Han Yong finally realized the True Words of the Dao, and did not "practice evil wisdom" and embarked on the crooked path. But I feel that I am not like Yan Hui, who is seduced by the master, bo me with text, and about to be polite. I think it should be a despicable person like Zilu who slowly obeys the ritual law.

In this way, there is a feeling of being in his body, so there is some inexplicable panic in his heart, afraid that he will be like Zilu - when fighting, he will be shouted by the enemy for the sake of the crown: "An enemy has been slained." "Too rigid in etiquette, too much nerdy breath, as Li Bai said, "Lu Shuo talked about the Five Classics, and the white hair died." Ask for economic policy, and it will be like falling smoke."

Fortunately, Confucianism pays attention to etiquette and has the right to have the scriptures. How to change it? As far as innovative thinking is concerned, one of them starts from the opposite side. So I look for a negative point of view, and give myself an innovative point of view, dialectical thinking.

On the contrary, the first thing that does not deal with Confucianism is Taoist thought. I especially sighed about the passage about the horse's hoof in "Zhuangzi":

Horses, hooves can trample frost and snow, hair can withstand wind and cold, grass drinking water, feet and land, the true nature of this horse also. Although there is a righteous road to sleep, it is useless. And to Bo Le, he said, "I am good at governing horses." "Burn it, cut it, carve it, and burn it, and even it is bound, and it is woven with soap stacks, and the dead of the horse are twelve or thirteen; the hungry, the thirsty, the galloping, the sudden, the whole, the qi, the former has the affliction of the ornament, and then there is the power of the whip, and the dead of the horse are more than halfway through."

Well said.

But China alone didn't seem to be enough, so I went to the West again. A careful study of Rousseau's thought is therefore necessary.

Rousseau believed that there are three sources of human education: natural nature, things and man-made, and the good combination of these three kinds of education can achieve the desired purpose. The ultimate goal of nature education is "natural man", who is not a degenerate person who has returned to primitive society, but a natural person living in society, that is, a new person who is physically and mentally healthy, who uses both body and brain, who has a strong conscience and strong ability. A necessary prerequisite for Rousseau's natural education was to change children's perceptions. People should not regard children as slaves to be disciplined, nor as reduced adults, but as adults and children as children.

Corresponding to the same voice, the same qi. These are really "related to my heart", and whenever I read the same views as myself, I have a feeling of seeing each other and hating each other. So I advocate laissez-faire for my children, life can find it's way, children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, and don't be horses and cattle with their children and grandchildren.

But one day I came into contact with the words of the "Chronicle of the Three Kingdoms and the Biography of Zhang Hong" quoted in the "Zhizhi of the Qunshu":

Since ancient times, there have been state-owned people who want to cultivate morality and government to prosper in Bilong, but as for its rule, it is not fragrant. Not a loyal servant, secretly in the body, by the Lord is overwhelmed, and the ear can be used. The lady's feelings are difficult and easy, good and bad, the opposite of the way of governance.

Yes, looking forward to the son of Jackie Chan, looking forward to the female becoming a phoenix, the people's hearts are the desire, and educating a child with a glorious lintel is not fragrant?

President Xi Jinping once quoted Yan Bao as saying: "If you use water to feed water, who can eat it?" If The One is the one, who can listen? He also quoted "The unevenness of things, the love of things" in Mencius Teng Wen Gongshang.

So I thought: don't be biased, be comprehensive. We must not just let ourselves go, but also educate ourselves. Laissez-faire education can also hinder the growth of children.

The third part of the "Ancient Literature Guanzhi" is selected from the "Zuo Zhuan", and there is a passage in it, which makes me sweat and flow:

Shi Wei said: "The subject hears of the beloved son, teaches him to be righteous, and is evil." Extravagance and lasciviousness, self-evil. The four came, spoiled also. It will be a state to be established, but it will be determined, and if it is not yet, it will be a curse. Husbands are spoiled but not proud, proud and can descend, descend without regret, regret and can be stunned, rare. And the husband is cheap and noble, the young ling is long, the distant relatives, the new and the old, the small increase, the adulterous and the righteous, the so-called six reversals. Junyi, Subjects, Fatherly Kindness, Filial Piety, Brotherly Love, Brother Respect, the so-called Six Shunye. Go with the flow, so quick misfortune also. The king, the evil is to go, and the speed is nothing to do? ”

In short, it is the fault of the father to raise or not to teach.

But teaching is not good, teaching is bad, and it is also the fault of the Father. After taking my child from my hometown to Hangzhou for more than a year to go to primary school, now my father and mother both say that I have taught my children badly and are not smart. Nani? Did I myself go from a dragon slayer teenager to a dragon? Am I the Bole who is good at curing horses in Zhuangzi's mouth? I finally lived to be what I hated?

Because I lived with my children, I found that in the past, my children followed my grandparents and learned a lot of stinky problems, but now I have to correct them one by one, and I teach criticism every day, and my children are bound and have no lively and cute appearance.

There is a saying in the Cai Gen Tan: The evil of attacking people should not be too strict, but should think about what it is worthy; teach people not to be too high, and let it be followed.

It seems that even their own children can't be too harsh.

Chairman Mao taught us to be united, tense, serious, and lively. Now the relationship between the family and children is tense and serious, and the unity and liveliness are gone.

At first, I didn't have the motivation of a chicken baby, but now I have a bit of chicken blood. Thanks also to the State for abolishing off-campus training and implementing a double reduction. Otherwise, parents, wives, and children will complain that I do not enroll my children in training classes.

Nine years of compulsory education training, k9, k12 education, all learned are known to mankind to be relatively stable and easy to learn knowledge, more time to learn these, relative to the development of children's other special abilities, is indeed not cost-effective. I also believe that the education of school teachers is enough.

Therefore, now I enroll my children in classes to learn art, but I am afraid of delaying play.

As the saying goes, if it is a propaganda territory we do not occupy, the enemy occupies. The children's heads and behavior habits, the good do not occupy, the bad occupy.

Ten years of trees, a hundred years of tree people.

The difference is a millimeter, and the fallacy is a thousand miles.

Now that a child's slight butterfly wings are flapping, will there be a storm in their life path in the future?

What to do?

Or as Zhuge Liang said in the table of the later masters: Those who are difficult to reconcile, things are also ... As things are, it is difficult to reverse them. The subject bowed down to exhaustion, and died after that. As for the success or failure of the blunt, non-minister's wisdom can reverse it.

An advertising slogan on Father's Day said, I can't participate in the first half of your life, and I will accompany you to the end of the second half of your life.

In the second half of a child's life, it is difficult for us to participate, and the success or failure of the misfortune lies in our early teaching.

Some netizens said that after bowing down, they died. If you die, if the child feels that the feng shui is not good, he may dig you out, bury you in another place, and continue to bless him.

like father，like son(daughter)。

As a materialist, I will not treat my father this way in the future, and I hope that they will not treat me this way.

If you want to live in peace, only by educating children to be able to support themselves and mix well, otherwise... Hey hey, you know what