"I haven't been home in 12 years! When I was 4 years old, my father sent me here and left without looking back. It's been my second home ever since."
It's hard to imagine the phrase coming out of the mouth of a 16-year-old.
Nyima Gurung from Nepal died as soon as he was born, and his father was all he had until the age of 4, and young children never thought that their father would leave him.
But the day came so suddenly, one day at the age of 4, my father took Gurung to a boarding school in Kathmandu. He still remembers his father's back when he left that day. The teenager said: "That day, Dad did not look back once. ”
Gurung's school was built by local monks for poor children, and his experience is not special here. There are more than 150 children from Nepal's most remote mountainous areas, the vast majority of whom were sent here by their parents from the age of 4 or 5 and could not come home to meet their parents until they graduated from secondary school.
Every year, children are sent here, and children follow their parents to the school in a daze, leaving only a shadow of their parents.
Zelin Deji, a 16-year-old girl who was also sent to school at the age of 4, said: Suddenly one day she was sent here, and when she first came, she was very scared, and she felt that her mother did not want her. 12 years have passed, and the girl who was "abandoned" by her mother has grown into a big girl, but the experience of being 4 years old in her heart has become an eternal scar.
What we see as ordinary is the luxury they have bought for more than a decade of reunion
This is the two children in the documentary "The Long Road to School", which tells the story of three Nepalese teenagers who returned home after graduating from secondary school. The children were sent to boarding school by their parents at the age of 4 or 5 and had not seen their families in 12 years. At this school, children will have a 3-month long vacation after secondary school, which is the only time they can meet their parents in more than ten years.
12 years have passed, and even if several children have long grown from ignorant children to teenagers with a promising future, the thoughts that are integrated into flesh and blood have not diminished in the slightest. Along with Zerin Deki and Nyima Gurung, there was also 16-year-old Kidwan Mahathira. The 3 teenagers fantasized about the reunion moment with their parents for a long time, so there was this "Long Road to School".
Accustomed to city life, I never thought that in some areas, the children's journey to school would be so long! Children must travel by bus, plane, or trek to get home.
In the case of Gurung, whose hometown is near the Himalayas in Nepal, there are no roads, and the only dirt roads are stepped on by villagers. In order to get home to Gurung, you need to take a 14-hour bus, then change planes and hike for another 15 days, which is still led by a guide.
During the ten days of Hiking in Gurung, he finally understood why his family had not come to see him for more than ten years. It was too backward, and even if his parents were able to cross the mountains and get out of the mountains, the thin ticket became a huge gap between him and his parents.
I was deeply touched by the sentence at the beginning of the documentary: this school is both a school for teaching and educating people, and a "purgatory on earth" that creates the pain of parting. In order for the child to jump out of poverty, even if he endured more than ten years of longing, the family resolutely sent the child to school. Compared to them, the learning environment at our children's fingertips is simply paradise.
There are some children around, skipping class and refusing to learn, they deserve to enjoy everything given by their parents, and slowly these children become ungrateful, unable to pay, and even unfilial to their parents. Sometimes I also wonder if we really should let our children suffer a little to understand that there is not so much reason in this world!
Who would want to send their young son away if conditions permit?
Before the 3 teenagers went home, they had some criticism of their parents sending their young selves away, especially Zelin once doubted that because she was a girl, her mother did not love her! But during the holidays with her mother, she learned about her mother's deep love.
From the moment she learned of her daughter's return, the mother had been looking forward to it. On the day her daughter returned, she stood at the top of the hill early and looked out, from morning to evening. The moment I saw my daughter, I saw the mother's tears full of thoughts, and she tried her best to restrain her expression, but the slightly trembling corners of her mouth revealed her excitement.
After getting along with her mother, Zelin learned that the woman in her hometown was the main force in the family, and it was the responsibility of a girl to cut grass, collect firewood, and cook. The mother, who has worked hard all her life, realizes that only learning can change her daughter's fate. It is precisely because she has suffered enough of life that she does not want her daughter to return to her old path, so even if she has to endure 12 years without seeing her daughter, the mother still chooses to let her daughter find a new way of life.
Another mother also spent 12 years waiting for her son to call out "Mom." Since Hearing that her son was coming back, Jiwan's mother went to the village every day to look out until she was tired, and she said, "I wish I had seen Givan so much." But the 12-year interval made the mother not recognize her son, and after a few seconds of hesitation, she suddenly realized that his son was back!
In the relationship between the teenagers and their families, the doubts, incomprehensions, and scars hidden in their hearts over the past 12 years have been smoothed out by the family with "love". Where is not love? It is precisely because of too much "love" that children are pushed to the cliff and let them learn to soar alone.
Some reflections on the road to parenting
I was deeply struck by this documentary in two ways:
First, even if parents are poor enough to save enough money to visit their children for more than a decade, they still firmly send their children to school.
Second, although every young child is traumatized, a holiday together makes them more grateful.
Now many experts have called for enough attention and love for children, but in recent years, there are more and more cases of depression in children around them, compared with these teenagers, should we also reflect on our own education methods?
Of course, it is not to encourage parents to ignore their children. Rather, I want to say, as parents, should we also try to let our children accept some imperfections?
For example, some experts emphasize that parents should not quarrel in front of their children, but parents are also human, how can there be no emotions? I have always believed that it is not important to quarrel in front of the child, what is important is how the parents solve it afterwards, let the child witness the process of solving the problem, and learn to solve the problem is not more fragrant?
Some parenting experts say that when a child has a problem, the spearhead is always directed at the parents. This film clearly tells us that even in the absence of our parents, our children can still grow into a kind, warm, and grateful person. Education is like this, parents and children grow up together, always more effective than mutual blame.
Our fathers did not live in very good conditions, but that generation was tenacious, brave, never gave up, difficulties and tribulations gave them many tests, and finally these sufferings became their life wealth.
And our generation is anxious every day because of the school district room and training class, and the inner volume is about to collapse, but the bear children are indifferent, and sometimes they are tired of thinking about it.
Having seen suffering in order to taste happiness, our children are destined to be a happy generation, so I highly recommend that parents let their children watch films like "The Long Way to School". This kind of difficult and unimaginable path of study, the shock brought about by its intuitive visual impact, is definitely better than you and me.
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