"From now on, we will only die and not live and leave." In a word, Mr. Qian Zhongshu's attachment to Mr. Yang Dai was unwilling to be separated from him for a minute and a second. They have lived together for more than sixty years, experienced the turbulence of the times, lived the most difficult and difficult life, and had a rich time, and the love between them has not been affected by these external factors, truly explaining to us "one life and one couple", making us full of fantasies and hopes for love and marriage.
Why do they have enviable married life and emotional experiences that some people don't? Perhaps, we all misunderstand "love".
The picture comes from the Internet, invaded and deleted
During the period when Mr. Qian Zhongshu and Mr. Yang Dai were studying abroad, the two of them who had been pampered and treated well since childhood gradually became independent. Mr. Yang Dai undertook everything big and small, only so that Qian Zhongshu could concentrate on learning, and she also tolerated Qian Zhongshu's "childishness" and "clumsiness". Only because Mr. Yang Dai understands Qian Zhongshu's ideals and loves it, can he happily say Qian Zhongshu's clumsy and childish experiences during the interview.
During Yang Dai's pregnancy, she spent some time in the hospital. During this time, Qian Zhongshu would come to the hospital every day to accompany Yang Dai. Every day he would tell Yang Dai some interesting things, and he would also say some trivial things in life. But more often than not, it's about what he's messing with.
"I did something bad, the ink stained the tablecloth".
"I did something bad, the lamp was broken",
"I did something bad, the balls at both ends of the door shaft dropped and the door couldn't close"...
Mr. Yang Dai's answer is always "It doesn't matter, I'll get it right." In fact, when she returned to the apartment, she actually did it, and everything was done. Like a child, Qian Zhongshu will make all kinds of mistakes, but what he gets is not blame and reprimand, but understanding and tolerance. Home is a place to love, home is a place to relax, all because there is a lover in the family. However, if the result is always the harsh rebuke of the lover, then the home without warmth is not home, but a hell that people want to escape. We often give the best and gentlest side to outsiders, but we leave the worst temper to our families, which will inevitably cause harm to our relatives and ignore that we should be kind to our families.
It is Mr. Yang Dai's meticulous love for Mr. Qian Zhongshu that makes this man, who has never worked, insist on getting up early every morning to make breakfast for Mr. Yang Dai, who got up late, until Qian Zhongshu was seriously ill and hospitalized.
In Mr. Yang Dai's memoir "The Two of Us", the stories that happened between them are recorded, there are common tribulations, and there are ordinary lives. But even in a dull life, they will often hold hands and go out to "explore" together, in fact, they will go to some places they have not been, observe all kinds of people and things they encounter on the way, imitate their looks, language, and guess whether there is any relationship between these people, adding some fun to life.
The most essential difference between love and marriage is that marriage will eventually return to flatness, but how to spend the rest of your life in a flat marriage depends on the person in the marriage. We are willing to be ordinary, in the eyes of people with hearts, even if it is as light as water married life can still find fun and passion; if in the eyes of no heart, the light as water married life will always be boring and lifeless.
Life is full of surprises, and whether we can see it depends on whether we have the heart to live and pay attention to observe.
Mr. Yang Dai and Qian Zhongshu were both talented and beautiful people at Tsinghua at that time. Even after getting married, they never stopped studying, when Qian Zhongshu studied abroad, Mr. Yang Dai often went to the library to read books and consult materials, and the two of them played light and heat in their own areas of expertise. In order to make money, Mr. Yang Dai wrote a drama script, and at the end of 1942, her drama "Satisfactory Heart" was performed at the Jindu Grand Theater and quickly became popular. Since then, people have called Qian Zhongshu "Yang Dai's husband", which makes Qian Zhongshu unable to sit still and say to Yang Dai: "I want to write a long novel, do you support it?" Yang Dai absolutely supported, in order to let him have more creative time, she took over all the housework, blocked a lot of things for him, and constantly urged him to create, two years later, "Siege" was successfully completed.
A good marriage is to learn from each other and achieve each other, to think at the same height, and to communicate without hindrance. Marriage also needs to grow, and we will encounter various problems when we grow up, so we need to continue to learn to solve the problems encountered in marriage life. When faced with problems in married life, most of us think not about how to solve the problem, but to shirk responsibility and want to escape, to put it bluntly, it is a lack of responsibility, which leads to a rise in the divorce rate. If you can communicate in time when problems occur, learn to stabilize your emotions, and strive to find solutions, give each other a chance, it is also an opportunity to grow.
"Before I met her, I never thought of getting married; I had been married to her for decades, and I never regretted marrying her, nor had I ever thought of marrying another woman." From staying together to whitehead, we know and love each other all our lives, and we will not abandon each other. After Qian Zhongshu left, Mr. Yang Dai used his life's experience to organize his notes, so that his former works and notes were known to the world and preserved. This kind of love is far beyond our reach, and it is also what we should learn, love and love.
Husbands and wives should share weal and woe, guard the walls of marriage, do not let others come in, and resolutely do not go out themselves, so that marriage does not lose love.