When I was 7 years old, there was a boy in the family, and I felt that he had taken away the love of my parents for me, and he always thought of ways to bully him. When we grew up, the gap between us grew farther and farther, until my father became very ill, and I finally understood that the boy I had been bullied by was the biological son of my parents, and I was an outsider in that family.
01
Since I can remember, I have been loved by my parents in the palm of my hands, I have an older brother, three years older than me, who usually lets me everything, and I am a pampered little princess at home.
This pampering changed a bit when I was 7 years old, when I was in the second grade of elementary school, and my father didn't know where to bring a boy back from, and told me that this was my brother and that I would take good care of him in the future. I said yes on the surface, but in my heart I was full of hostility toward him.
Mom and Dad were particularly kind to this boy who was three months younger than me, and their kindness to me before seemed to have shifted the boy overnight, which made my little soul hurt greatly, and the hatred for the boy grew day by day, so I thought of ways to bully and tease him.
When I first bullied him, I wouldn't let him touch my things, he would never touch them, I wouldn't let him do anything, he would never disobey me. Moreover, after being bullied by me, I never complained to my parents, which naturally made me treat him as a soft persimmon and bully him at will.
In elementary school, the boy and I were classmates, I was extroverted, I had good academic performance, I was still the deputy class president, and my popularity among my classmates was very good, so I deliberately said among my classmates that he was a wild child picked up by my parents, and everyone should not play with him.
The boy's personality is introverted, he doesn't talk much, and after my encouragement, there are no classmates with him. The boy didn't seem to care either, every day after class, he was always standing alone in the hallway, looking downstairs, not knowing what he was thinking.
My family conditions are good, and every day when my mother sends us to school, she will give us some pocket money to buy snacks to eat. I found that he didn't use the money at all, and he never patronized the commissary at the entrance of the school. I said to him, if you don't buy something, just give me the money! Although he hesitated, he still put the money in my hands. Every time I bought a snack, I shared it with other classmates, and sometimes I deliberately distributed it to him in front of him, just not giving it to him. He was very calm about it, and sometimes it made me sulk myself.
In front of his parents, the boy is a good baby, he will take the initiative to help his mother clean, pick vegetables, go to the supermarket to buy things, do some things that can be done, which makes his parents' preferences for him far more than me and my brother, parents will also buy him some things he likes, and I always quietly break his favorite things, every time I see his kind of heartache, I am secretly happy in my heart.
After going to junior high school, we were in different classes in the same school, I couldn't bully him like I did in elementary school, but the hostility towards him was not eliminated, as long as I had the opportunity, I would think of ways to tease you and him, but his patience and forbearance made me often feel like my fist was hitting the cotton.
And, as we grew older, I found that the relationship between the eldest brother and the boy was getting better and better, and the two often got together and had a lot of fun. The longer I stayed in my house, the higher the boy's status in the family, and I wanted to bully him, it became more and more difficult. What made me even more unbearable was that his grades were better than mine, and I obviously felt that my mother liked him more and more.
02
Unconsciously, the boy who has been bullied by me has a heavier and heavier position in the minds of his parents and parents, and his parents will praise him every time they are at the dinner table.
Compared with me and my brother, the boy does have many aspects to do better than the two of us, such as paying attention to hygiene, taking the initiative to help his parents share the housework, loving good academic performance, parents to open a parent-teacher conference with a special face, the most obedient and polite, parents let him do anything, never bargain, is a typical well-behaved child.
The most important point is that boys know better than my brother and I, never spend money indiscriminately, never ask for things, and when I meet such a child, I believe that every parent likes it.
After the college entrance examination, the boy was admitted to Tsinghua University with excellent results, and I only went to an ordinary university, and since then, the difference between the two of us has become more and more distant. He went to graduate school for a doctorate, and then studied abroad, becoming the pride in the eyes of his parents. After graduating from university, I did not pass the entrance examination for three years, and then I took the civil service examination, and I took the examination for several consecutive years, and finally I was only admitted to an ordinary civil servant position in the county town below the city, which was considered to have a fixed job.
The boy eventually chose to stay abroad and worked well there. He took his parents to play, and after his parents came back, they talked about him for a long time, and their words were full of pride, although the boy worked abroad, he would take time to come back and live for a while every year to accompany his parents to do filial piety.
Usually every three to five will also make a phone call, every month will give mom and dad 5,000 yuan, to say filial piety to mom and dad, he did better than me and my brother. After graduating from college, my brother went to other provinces to develop, although he was also considered a successful career, but the number of times he came back was extremely limited. Although I went home more often than all of them, my parents did not subsidize my family less on weekdays.
When my father retired, he suddenly fell ill and was sent to the hospital for examination, and found that he had a serious kidney disease and had to undergo kidney transplant surgery, otherwise his life would be in danger. Finding the kidney source has become a big problem, and the doctor suggests that our children can be paired with their fathers first, and if it is feasible, it is best to look for them from the outside.
After the boy heard that his father was ill, he immediately rushed back from abroad and took out 500,000 yuan at a time to treat his father. In the pairing, the boys were also involved.
It was only when I was paired that I found that the doctor looked at me with obviously wrong eyes, and then a doctor I was familiar with pulled me aside and quietly asked me, is it biological? Maybe the doctor just wanted to make a little joke with me, but as the boy and dad were paired, I had to doubt my true identity.
03
For the boy to be paired successfully, I did not see any different looks on the faces of my parents and seemed to take it for granted. In fact, the pairing of the brother and the father is also successful, some of the index is even a little higher than the boy, originally prepared to transplant the brother, but the brother escaped, but the boy did not hesitate to transplant one of his kidneys to the father.
After the operation, Dad recovered well without excessive rejection, and the boy went back after a period of time in the hospital. When I left, I was ready to leave a sum of money for my father, but my parents refused, and when I sent the boy away, my mother cried very badly, and that kind of reluctance made me feel moved.
For a period of time, after I left work, I would return to my parents to help take care of them, but there was a question in my heart, that is, whether the boy was the biological son of my parents, and if he was biological, then what about me? I was only three months older than the boy, and one of the two must have been not biological.
It wasn't until Dad recovered that Mom and Dad told me the truth.
It turned out that my father once had a very good comrade-in-arms, that is, my biological father, when my biological mother gave birth to two girls in a row, and my mother gave birth to two boys. Dad and my biological dad decided to have another child, so I became Mom and Dad's daughter, and the boy was sent to my biological parents to become their son.
Originally, both sons and daughters were very happy, but when I was 7 years old, my biological parents had a car accident and both died. Mom and Dad then went to take the boy home again. I also have an older sister who was raised by my grandparents in her hometown.
If it wasn't for my father's serious illness, my parents wouldn't have told me this, and even my brother wouldn't know that I wasn't biological.
Think of my brother when he was a child, he was bullied like that by me, but my parents turned a blind eye, they should have known about my small actions a long time ago, but they never blamed me, let alone punished. Maybe they thought I was a poor girl, and they thought of me as their own daughter, and they indulged in my small actions.
In the years when I was growing up, they did not treat me as an outsider, reading and studying to take the civil service examination, my parents never persuaded me not to take the exam because I had not taken the exam, and as always supported me to go down my own path.
Even if I joined the work and became a family, because the family conditions are relatively poor, my parents have also made up for it many times, even this time my father was hospitalized, my mother quietly said to me, my brother took enough money for my father's treatment, I did not need me to take money out to treat my father. After all the past, I finally realized what kind of good family I had met, and unconsciously, tears flowed out.
Now after learning my true identity, my heart is not very calm, for example, when I was a child, I bullied my brother for so long, do I need to apologize to my brother? Mom and Dad have taken care of me for so many years, how should I face them in the future? My biological parents have passed away, and there are still relatives in my hometown, is it necessary to recognize them? My heart is very troubled.
04
A touching experience caused by the replacement of children is a heart-warming experience for the protagonist's woman. If it weren't for her father's illness, she might never have known that she and the boy were swapped children, let alone her own.
In the adoptive parents' home, the woman got the best learning and living environment, the deepest love, although when she was a child, her brother took away a little love from her parents, but compared to her parents' dedication to her, it is not worth mentioning at all.
Of course, this woman is not calm after learning that she is not her own child, which is also common sense, but the series of new problems she faces must be faced and reasonably solved, otherwise it may cause new psychological problems, so how to resolve the psychological gap and return yourself to a peaceful life?
What we usually talk about is a social definition, nothing more than a question of blood relations, which is a relationship based on social concepts or some kind of social public opinion, and is not absolutely insurmountable.
Children live with their parents, and parents love each child differently. Relatively speaking, because of blood relations, biological children have an advantage over adopted children and adopted daughters, but adopted children and adopted daughters will try to obey their parents' arrangements out of subconscious recognition of their own status. Biological children will make unreasonable demands based on their subconscious advantages, leading to parental dissatisfaction. Therefore, in a family where biological and adoptive children coexist, parents generally feel that adopted children and adopted daughters are more obedient than their own children, so they prefer adoptive children and adopted daughters.
The boy in the text, when he first entered the family, may think that he is an adopted son, so in many ways, he has done better than his brothers and sisters, which has been fully affirmed by his parents and made his parents like her more and more.
In fact, this woman should feel lucky that her adoptive parents did not tell her of her origins very early, did not exclude her because of her identity, so that she could grow up healthily and successfully start a family.
For this woman, even if she knows that she is not biological, her parents, who have been called from childhood to adulthood, have not let her suffer a little, and what is the difference between being biological or not? Maybe staying in the original home was not as happy as it is now, this is the fate between you and your adoptive parents.
For her sisters, grandparents and other relatives in her hometown, she should take the time to go back to see how much help she can give, and she can do what she can, without being too demanding. As for the younger brother, the small things of childhood are used as the spice of childhood life, do not have to be too entangled, the younger brother can honor his parents and make such a great sacrifice for his father, he should also be a generous person, and he will not worry about the things when he was a child.
Since you know the ins and outs of the matter, you should relax your mentality, or live your own life as before you didn't know the truth, and don't have any psychological burden. Her brother and brother are far away from her adoptive parents, she is closer to her adoptive father and adoptive mother, accompany them more, do a filial piety, share some for her brothers and brothers, I believe that it is also what her adoptive parents are willing to see, or what they expect.
Conclusion
If one day, you suddenly find that you are not biological, and you don't have to be nervous, blood relations are not better than love. Adoptive parents' kindness to their own parenting, love for themselves, must be firmly remembered, do not forget the people who once loved you, there is nothing to tangle. Let go of all unrealistic ideas, don't let people who are good to you chill, and remember that the grace of parenting is greater than the sky.