Author: Rattle
01
V Bo received a private message.
The little girl said that her uncle was getting married. I carefully painted a picture and wanted to give it to my uncle as a wedding gift.
As a result, my mother opened her mouth and said: Such an ugly painting, don't give it away.
She was sad: "Sister Bell, is this painting really ugly?" ”
Speak in good conscience. How is this painting?
Aside from the fact that the immature brushstrokes are obviously newbies, I personally think it is quite beautiful.
After all, I also have one such a painting in my family - it was by a friend, and it was painted by our family of three. After receiving it, I specially bought a picture frame and framed it and placed it in the most conspicuous place in the living room.
The real value of a friend's gift is not how skilled and professional the painter is, but that every stroke is blessed.
Compared to expensive and beautiful gifts, I also succumbed to clumsy sincerity.
So I couldn't understand this mother's sentence, "It's so ugly, don't give it away." ”
Auntie, it's not you who gives the gift, and it's not you who receives the gift.
What qualifications do you have to rate a gift or not?
Such hurtful words, you can't say to friends, colleagues, or even leaders, but you can blurt out to your children.
By what?
Is it true that no matter how difficult the parents' words are, will the children be tolerant and forgive the parents' confidence?
02
I have never quite understood why some parents are so keen to suppress their children.
If you get to the top ten of your grade, you will ask why you didn't get the top five?
When you buy a new dress, you laugh at being ugly and not worthy of clothes.
There are some achievements in work, ironically saying that your leaders are blind? After speaking, he still quacked and laughed, thinking that he was very humorous.
You got a job that pays seven thousand a month and want to share happiness with them. The corners of your mother's mouth flickered: the neighbor's child is a month, but more than 10,000.
No matter what you do, they never seem to be happy with you.
The most outrageous example I've ever seen here is probably my friend's mother.
Friends said that they have not received a little encouragement from their mother since they were young, and suppressing their daughter since childhood has become the habit of this mother's life.
Friends have been developed with a low sense of self-identity and thinking bad about everything, and mothers dislike their daughters for not being cheerful enough to get on the table.
Because she has been instilling negative energy for many years, her daughter has nowhere to vent and can only quarrel with her husband.
After arguing and going back to her mother's house to relax, my mother didn't ask why. Open mouth is: It must not be Xiao Li's (her husband's) fault, I said earlier, no one can bear you with your personality...
My friend said that he felt hopeless at that time.
Acquaintances can still be cut off, what can mothers do? I can only continue to endure the spiritual pollution for the rest of my life.
"There hasn't been any affirmation since birth, that's all, not even basic parental support for their children. Doesn't she realize that I'm having a bad time, it's all her fault? ”
03
Parents and parents are not the same. I understood this at a very young age.
Some parents are best at suppressing their children and picking bones from eggs.
Wanting them to see the sparkle in their children is worse than beating them.
There are also parents whose children will never fail to love themselves.
Because since childhood, all my parents said to them, "You are the most unique being".
Respect their preferences, never pua children, and never teach them to beat themselves up.
Children who grow up in this way will not find themselves at a certain moment after growing up that they have no other life goals - except to make money to survive.
What kind of parents do children want the most?
Powerful? Or is it a lot of money? The truth is that children rarely dislike their parents, but parents always look down on their children.
The parents that children want, are not so good.
But if she likes baking, her mother will be proud that the cake she bakes is delicious.
Whether you are on Tsinghua or roasted sweet potatoes, as long as you do what you are good at, you are the best baby worthy of my show.
However, unlike most people, he can be unconditionally accepted by his parents.
Because love is love for the house and the wu, whether you like girls or boys.
But always on my side and supporting me to protect myself. Instead of being bullied, you have to listen to your parents' lessons, saying that "a slap can't make a sound" this fallacy of saying.
But I don't have to try to inherit their dreams, because my parents only gave me life, but they did not automatically have the right to control me; I have my own way to go.
In my shell are souls that are very different from theirs.
It's just an unconditional preference that is hard to experience from anyone other than your parents.
Often these children will have precious qualities that no amount of money can buy - self-confidence, optimism, and belief that there is nothing wrong with themselves, because parents have believed in them since childhood.
04
I wrote before that after giving birth to Little Gollum, I often realize one thing:
When parents are long, it is easy to forget what it feels like to be a child.
Every time you are hurt by words, hit by your parents, and are worthless in the eyes of adults—these moments are very vivid in the first three years of a child's life.
But as time goes on, life is busy, children are tired, and children grow up more and more skinny. Parents can also become forgetful and irritable.
Only to see his toys all over the ground making trouble, and after roaring, did I know that it was the cake he carefully prepared for you;
I can only see that he painted the table in a mess and could not look at it, until after scolding he looked up and said:
Mom, I'm painting a family of three.
You can't always praise the child, he will go to heaven. Thinking like this, he suppressed all the way down.
Is there no merit at all for one's own children? Of course, there are, but some parents seem to ignore this.
They probably forgot that they were also born in the Novice Village.
I used to not even be able to walk, I couldn't eat my own food, everything was very clumsy, in order to show that I was a maverick, I did everything against my parents.
I admit that many parents may be the best in their lives.
He is very good at making money in the workplace, he is very popular at work, his life is properly arranged, and he is also a watertight person.
But in the profession of parents, you may fail the exam, because it is too simple and rude, adding a child to the world who will not love, especially not love himself.
Children don't love because their parents never taught them love.
About author: Rattle, Changsha shooter woman, wild emotional writer.