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The college entrance examination that just passed should have been a day that carried countless hopes for tens of millions of candidates.
However, for Chen Weiwei, an 18-year-old senior high school candidate at Jiang Hua No. 2 Middle School, she will never wait for this day...
On July 7, Chen Weiwei's mother posted a post to remember her daughter:
"Daughter today is the college entrance examination day, you have studied hard for eleven years but failed to participate in the college entrance examination as desired, before you die is your mother's hope, after leaving is your mother's pride!" The child comes for a ride, and the mother thinks for a lifetime. ”
It turned out that as early as August 9, 2019, Chen Weiwei was diagnosed with advanced Burkitt lymphoma.
Sensible, she wanted to give up treatment many times, but with the company and encouragement of her parents, friends, and teachers, she was determined to continue to fight the disease.
Unfortunately, the condition was getting worse every day, so she prepared for the worst:
"Mom, if I really can't do it, I'll donate my body."
In addition, she wants to donate some of her organs to those who need them:
"Even if I'm gone, some part of my body is still 'alive' so that I don't think I'm leaving this world."
Because she feels that "lymphoma" is more complicated, such a body may have research value, she has been deeply suffering from illness, and does not want other families to suffer the same pain.
This angelic flower of life, which bloomed slightly, left this world in the arms of her mother on May 14.
In the early hours of May 15, Vivi's mother trembled and pressed her handprint on her daughter's body donation form.
Subsequently, Chen Weiwei's body was transported to the Medical College of Yongzhou Vocational and Technical School.
But in fact, we all know that Vivi's departure does not mean the end of life, but the continuation of life.
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Death is usually an unspeakable topic in the social atmosphere in which we live, but it is something that everyone experiences in their lifetime.
In 2013, the documentary "That Silent Sunny Afternoon" recorded the greatest mortals from the most prosaic perspective.
Like a tear gas that fell from the sky, it touched the weakest place in everyone's heart.
The protagonists of the documentary are an ordinary Taiwanese couple: Lin Huizong and Xu Yu'e.
As early as 1992, swimming coach Lin Huizong and his wife Xu Yu'e signed a body donation agreement.
Until the death of his wife in 2012, Lin Huizong followed his wife's last wishes and donated her body to the School of Medicine of Fu Jen University in Taiwan as a "general teacher".
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What is a "general teacher"?
When I first heard about the "general teacher", I thought I was a teacher of medical anatomy courses, but after learning about it, I realized that I could only become a teacher after I died.
In Taiwan, deceased persons who donated their bodies to medical schools for use in anatomy course textbooks after their deaths are revered as "general teachers" (also known as "speechless teachers").
They taught without words, with the flesh as a teaching material, and taught thousands of medical practitioners the true meaning of saving lives and helping the injured.
When the body is sent to the medical school, it needs to be embalmed, soaked in formalin for one year, and then placed in a refrigerated cabinet to wait for specific teaching arrangements.
Therefore, the teacher generally takes two years at the earliest to be sent to the dissection table.
It is these two years or so that mr. Lin's farewell time with his wife has been extended. Every month or two, Mr. Lin drives more than 250 kilometers from Chiayi to Taipei to visit his wife.
"The feeling of longing will still disappear with time, everyone is the same, and no one is an exception." Mr. Lin said during a filming.
For him, in the midst of the snow and wind, it is lucky to be able to accompany his loved ones.
Mr. Lin always likes to call his wife softly and gently, and share the daily chores of the family with his wife.
About her daughter Lin Yuru: "Recently, the relationship with her daughter has eased a lot";
On weekdays, Mr. Lin and his children do not have any communication, they are busy with each other, "do not disturb each other". Even if the daughter has something to discuss with her father, she will convey it by writing a letter.
Before his wife's death, it was hoped that the relationship between husband and daughter would improve.
About my son: "I hope that my son will go to the police examination and turn fire, so that the skills are better..."
Although in front of the camera, Mr. Lin can often talk and laugh as usual, but he always chats in front of his wife and can't cry...
Near the anatomy class, Mr. Lin was told to meet his wife for the last time.
Until the anatomy session began, the family could no longer visit, "for fear of too much impact." Professor Cai Yiru, a doctor at Fuda University, said.
Here was his last conversation with his wife:
"If you want to see you later, you won't have a chance, you can only look at the photos."
"Those students will treat you well."
"When I saw you before, I didn't feel anything, that is, you were already very stable here, and then you had to go out this morning, and the more you thought about it, the more you didn't give up."
If death is the first goodbye, it is the second.
At this moment, this "final judgment" is very cruel to Mr. Lin's family.
If a person can face "death" without waves in his heart, he must have experienced countless struggles and wanderings.
Because sometimes death may be a relief for the deceased, but for the living people it is a lifetime of pain.
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There is a topic on Zhihu: "What is it like to meet a teacher for the first time?" ”
"Awe awe. Sincerely. ”
When it comes to whether you want to become a "general teacher" in the future, the answers of netizens are even more touching.
They may have different ages, personalities, occupations, and living environments, but they aspire to a common "mission."
"Life is short for anyone, but everyone who pays silently is like fireworks, with their most brilliant moments."
This sentence is vividly rendered in this group of people.
Paul Sartre once said, "The tragedy of life is that it is eternally diminished." ”
The sudden attack of this epidemic can't help but sound the alarm for people: life is short and fleeting, why don't we realize it in our daily lives?
For example, for Mr. Lin's daughter, the death of her mother allowed her to really calm down and seriously think about her life: "If my mother did not leave, I really would not seriously think about what I want to do in life." 」 ”
So much so that the daughter never had the courage to look at her mother again.
In the course of how to recognize and treat death, we always owe too many credits.
If we hope that we and our loved ones can walk the last journey of life with peace of mind and without regrets; if we hope that after losing our loved ones, we will not only have fear and wandering; we hope that our family and friends around us will not be delayed because of our departure, then death education is actually a compulsory course in life for everyone.
When we can truly understand, accept, and face death, the sense of grief it brings will be reduced and diluted, so as to get rid of the emptiness and frustration brought about by death.
This is also the premise of death education: it is to be able to face life better, not to live in fear.
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Life's biggest problem,
It is to learn to reconcile with death
In the face of death, anyone is helpless.
Similarly, behind every teacher in general, there is a family of silent dedication.
In 2017, a short film based on a true story, "The General Teacher", told such a story:
The old mother of "an ordinary family in Jiading District, Shanghai" has always wanted to donate her body after her death, hoping to contribute her own meager strength to the cause of medicine.
"But a person must break his attachment to the body to donate his own body, and he also has to rely on the great fulfillment of his family."
For the elderly, the most difficult thing is to pass the child's hurdle.
Although the old man's eldest son expressed respect for his mother's last wishes,
However, he was strongly opposed by the second son: "You just watched the old woman being slashed by someone with a knife!" I don't agree with it anyway. ”
The daughter is a medical student, and it is almost common for this kind of scene, but in the face of her dear mother, she has never been able to cross the barrier in her heart.
Just confessed: "Even if my mother agreed, I couldn't do it." ”
Yes, before death really comes, no one can feel the tingling sensation that tears the heart and lungs.
Coincidentally.
At the beginning of 2020, during the outbreak of the epidemic, a girl named Ah Nian in Wuhan rushed to the "Vulcan Mountain" to save her grandmother's deeds.
A Nian is a mild patient diagnosed with new crown pneumonia, in order to take care of the 89-year-old severe grandmother, and persuade the grandmother to actively cooperate with the treatment, she was transferred from the Cabin Hospital to Vulcan Mountain Hospital.
At the same time, he also recorded the Vulcan Mountain staff and every effort and touch with the camera.
"Grandma, are you going to eat?"
"I'm here to greet you!"
"If you eat obediently, you can definitely be fine!"
"I'm here to take you out!"
With the company and encouragement of Ben's granddaughter, Grandma's condition has improved,
But unfortunately, "Ah Nian was unable to take his grandmother home as he wished." In the early morning of March 6, Ah Nian's grandmother died of a sudden cerebral infarction.
After the death of her grandmother, Ah Nian and her mother signed a donation letter in order to comply with the old man's wishes before his death, and donated the old man's body for pathological research.
"Loved ones who have passed away still leave their love to the world."
Thanks to this precedent, as of April 5, Vulcan Mountain had a total of 28 donors.
It is precisely because of these silently dedicated "general teachers" and researchers that many medical speculations have been confirmed;
The use of artificial lungs was advanced; techniques and methods of intubation were improved.
This is the seventh edition of the "Diagnosis and Treatment Plan for Pneumonia Infected by Novel Coronavirus".
Some lives are ordinary, but they have been illuminating the world with light, even with the last shell.
Perhaps for this era, the life of the individual is small, but for a family, learning to reconcile with death is a lifelong problem.
Because for life, we need not only sensibility, but also reason; for death, we need not only courage, but also wisdom.
Only by witnessing death with one's own eyes will we be able to fear and cherish life more deeply and from the heart.
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"Man is inherently mortal, either heavier than Tarzan or lighter than Hong Mao."
Writing this article is not to advocate that everyone blindly donate the body, but hope that everyone can understand the body donation, and sincerely respect everyone who silently dedicates to medicine and respects every life.
I also hope that everyone can think more autonomously about what kind of life they want.
Everyone is actually just the most ordinary of all the sentient beings in this world.
"They are not born brave, but choose to be fearless."
May everyone be able to rationally think about the value of life and truly learn to perceive the true meaning of life.
Growing up, we received a lot of education about living, but no one taught us how to face death.
The biggest problem in life is to learn to reconcile with death.
David Eagleman wrote in the "List of Lives": "In a person's life, he must die three times.
For the first time, when your heart stops and your breath dies, you are biologically declared dead.
The second time, when you're buried, people dressed in black attend your funeral. They declare that you no longer exist in this society, and you have quietly left.
The third time, the last person in the world to remember you, forgot you. So you truly die, and the whole universe will no longer have anything to do with you.
That is to say, living in the hearts of the living is not dead.
For those who have passed away, we should not be silent in the grief of death, but should live well with their wishes and live every day of our lives seriously.
In the face of death, we should not avoid or render, but should give it the value of life, learn to think about the meaning of life, and make life more powerful, which is the best memorial to the deceased.
Because to truly reconcile with death is to actually reconcile with one's present self.
While remembering the sadness, don't forget that the real meaning of parting is to learn to cherish and learn to grow.
Haruki Murakami once wrote in "Norwegian Forest": "Death is not the opposite of life, but as a part of life, it lives forever, and human memory is the continuation of the soul." ”
Perhaps the continuation of life is not in breath and blood, but in the eternal existence of spirit and love.
Only forgetting is truly dead.
Finally, may you still be able to smile and smile peacefully on the road of life that is full of thorns and thorns, no matter what kind of difficulties you encounter.
Text: Ah Xiao Chen
This article is the original of Family Magazine, and it may not be reproduced or adapted without permission, otherwise its legal responsibility will be investigated.