There is a saying:
"People who seem indestructible on the surface may not have no heartache behind them; people who often have a smile on their faces may not have no scars in their hearts, but a person who has gone through many difficult times has learned to be cold and warm and self-aware."
No matter at what stage, life will always have countless winds and rains, and endless tribulations.
Just like some sadness, others can't feel it; some bitterness, you can only understand it yourself.
Those hidden in life are cold and warm, like an endless ditch, and only their own experience is complete.
The so-called maturity is just that in this stormy life, while experiencing cold and warmth, I have gradually learned to hold an umbrella for myself.
1. In life, stormy and rainy is the norm
Someone asked: "Why doesn't the adult world have the word 'easy'?" ”
One of the high-ranking articles replied:
"When you walk into middle age and wake up in the morning, you are surrounded by people who depend on you, and there is no one you can rely on." 」
Deeply identified.
Life, never smooth sailing, always experience enough suffering, in order to learn to grow, enjoy enough sweetness.
And what you can do is to forge ahead in this storm.
"Is life always so painful? Or is it only like this when you were a kid? ”
"Always."
In this world, no one can really live easily, and different stages of life will experience different hardships and ups and downs.
There is a plot in the movie "Human Comedy":
The male protagonist Pu Tong is a host, with a small salary and a simple job.
Due to the company's arrears of wages, the couple's life is difficult, and even the basic rent cannot be afforded.
In this way, he still lent his only 60,000 yuan deposit to a friend. As a result, the couple often quarreled.
Once drinking with a friend, drunk he said a word that poked the hearts of countless people:
"My business is a small thing, but it can still crush people."
Everyone has countless difficulties and dangers, and there are countless injuries and pains.
Those good and bad, joy and sorrow, are the gifts of life and the tests of life.
And life is always harder than you think.
Yu Hua wrote in "Alive":
"There's nothing happier than being alive, and nothing is harder than being alive."
Accept helplessness, face the ups and downs, only by taking the wind and rain as the norm of life, can we face life better.
2. Count on others and you lose
In the TV series "The First Half of My Life", there is such a line:
"The road has to go step by step, and it is painful to stutter by yourself, cramping and peeling to be reborn." Other than that, there are no shortcuts. ”
If you think about it, it is.
In this life, no one can really rely on themselves except themselves.
Those who are full of joys and sorrows, sorrows and joys, and all that they have experienced in the process of growing up, after all, must be slowly experienced by one person.
As for others, he can help for a while, but he can't help for a lifetime; he can accompany you for a ride, but he can't accompany you for a lifetime.
Life is hurried, all are passers-by.
Counting on others is nothingness; counting on yourself can get out of the life you want.
"Dumpling Queen" Zang Jian was born into poverty and dropped out of school to work at the age of 15.
At the age of 22, he met a prominent Thai chinese doctor, and the two fell in love at first sight and soon entered the palace of marriage.
After marriage, in order to deal with his father's funeral, the husband left Zang Jian and his two daughters to return to China first.
When Zangjian went to Thailand, he found that her husband had already married a new couple.
The stronger Zang Jian did not want to swallow his anger, turned around and left with the child, and arrived in Hong Kong.
Due to the language barrier, she could only do some physical work of pouring tea and water, washing toilets, and doing nursing work, sleeping only two or three hours a day, and her life was very hard.
But even so, she is still on her own in everything.
Once, a friend came to visit her home and found that the dumplings she made were particularly delicious:
"You can take your dumplings to the street and sell them."
A joke, but Zang Jian took it seriously, pushing a trolley to the Wan Chai pier every day to sell dumplings.
Soon, with her exquisite craftsmanship, she attracted many customers, received investment, opened a factory, and gradually became a "Wan Chai Pier" dumpling that we are familiar with.
In this life, we will meet many people and experience many things, those who are cold and warm, sweet and sour, bitter and spicy, and finally can only taste themselves.
Past, present, future, everyone can only accompany themselves for a while, sooner or later they will have to separate.
Those who have wanted to rely on others can only lose completely in the end; only themselves are the greatest dependence.
3. The biggest noble person in a person is only himself
There are not enough people to rely on, and the only way to survive is to rely on themselves.
In the process of growing up, if you want to base yourself on heaven and earth and make a career, you can only rely on yourself.
The biggest noble person in man is only himself; no matter how good others are, they can only be the icing on the cake.
The mountain will fall, and everyone will run.
In this world, only oneself is a person's greatest support.
In ancient times, there was a merchant who traded in paper and salt and often went out to do business.
Every time he goes out, the merchant prays to heaven:
"Bless my way, don't run into robbers and rob me of my money; don't rain and wet paper and salt; and don't get dark too fast, lest I be left alone at night."
However, no matter how much the merchant asks for it, it will not work, and every time he travels, he will encounter robbers, and it will still rain when it should rain, and it will still be dark.
The merchant had also thought of various methods, and he hired a caravan and no longer went out alone; he chose to go with some merchants instead of going alone.
On rainy days, the rainproof utensils they carry with them are also covered with paper and salt; at night, they take out torches to illuminate the surrounding roads.
Later, the businessman and friend talked about the experience, saying:
"Rely on the sky, the sky will be dark; only by relying on yourself, is the most reliable."
In everything, it is better to ask others than to seek oneself, because this is the longest way to success.
Hugo once said:
"I'd rather open up my future on my own rather than seek the favor of the powerful."
The more a person experiences, the more he will understand: the road to growth, the biggest noble person, is never others, but himself.
Only by remaining independent can you control your life.
Effort does not lie, and those things that come by themselves are far more reliable than those given by others.
Don't have too much hope in others, because everyone has their own life, and life can only be decided by themselves.
4. Life is really hard, only self-transit
Human sorrow and joy are not the same, your joy may stimulate the grief of others, and your sadness may be drowned in the laughter of others.
Everyone has their own life, and even people who are close to each other cannot really empathize.
Those joys and sorrows, sufferings and pleasures, are both life experiences and their own calamities.
What you can do is not to blindly escape, but to converge on the mind, grit your teeth and insist, and carry the weight forward.
One day, you will understand that in this world, you are only dependent on yourself.
And the suffering that life gives, no one can bear for you, and no one can take away your strength.
Comedian Chaplin's parents were separated for a long time due to emotional problems, and Chaplin lived with his mother.
Later, his mother suffered from severe neurasthenia, and Chaplin was sent to a school for poor children.
At the age of 13, Chaplin chose to drop out of school and try to live independently, he did a lot of work, part-time work and chores to support himself.
No matter how poor his life was, he never complained, but instead had an optimistic attitude and faced the hardships of life.
Chaplin, after becoming famous, recalled this past, saying:
"During my time in the orphanage, I often wandered the streets because I was hungry and had nothing to eat. But I kept telling myself that there was nothing to complain about. One day, I will become the most famous comedian in the world. The current adversity is just making me stronger. ”
With this persistence, for the sake of his dreams, Chaplin endured hardships, tasted all kinds of hardships, and finally changed from an obscure actor to a world-class comedy master.
No one can live easily and happily, and everyone's life will always have all kinds of tribulations.
Those hardships of life, the difficulties of life, can only rely on themselves to step by step.
As mentioned in The Reader:
"The way to get through pain is to experience it, to absorb it, to explore it, to understand what it really means. The more difficult it is, the more you have to survive on your own, because if you get out, you will win. ”
"In this lifetime, if a person can live as a tree, don't make a vine." Always rely on others to pull forward, if one day that person leaves, it is difficult to ensure that you will not fall blue nose and swollen face. ”
This is a sentence on the Internet, but it is very meaningful.
We are always asking others for security, but in fact, security is not given by others, but obtained by ourselves.
Those difficulties must eventually be overcome by themselves; everything they want must be earned by themselves.
Instead of waiting for others to deliver umbrellas in the wind and rain, it is better to live as your own tree.
Wind and rain life, cold and warm self-knowledge.
May everyone learn to cross themselves, cross the ups and downs of life, be their own ferryman, and become the sun of others.