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Friendship is inseparable from life, but it is not easy to get real friendship. If you want to have a long-term relationship, you always need to pay each other and run into each other.
After half a lifetime, I understood that the best mode of getting along between people basically followed a logic: respect is the standard, reliability is the high match, and thick is the top match.
01
Respect is standard
Schiller famously said, "He who does not respect others, others will not respect him." "Only people who respect others can make people respect.
Chaplin had a very good friend who was very obsessed with baseball.
Once he was a guest at a friend's house, just in time to talk about baseball, the friend instantly opened the conversation box and talked to Chaplin about the game of baseball.
From the moment the other person talked about baseball, Chaplin spoke less, because he had never touched baseball at all, and most of the time it was friends talking, and he smiled at each other and listened carefully, occasionally saying a few words in response to friends.
My friend was very sorry that he didn't get the autograph of the athlete he liked. After returning home, Chaplin went to great lengths to help his friend get the baseball player's autograph.
A lot of people don't understand. You know, for such a long time to listen to a friend talk about something that he is not interested in at all, that feeling is already very uncomfortable, but also for a friend's words, go to such a great effort to get an autograph, why?
Chaplin told the people around him: "I am not interested in baseball, but my friends are interested in baseball, only by respecting the things that others respect, others can feel that they are understood and respected, which is the basis of all friendships." ”
There is a saying: "I respect any independent person, and although some of them I do not approve of, I can understand as much as possible." ”
In this world, everyone's experience is different, there is no need to seek common ground, but to respect each other.
The first thing we have to do when we interact with people is to give each other enough respect. Respect the interests of others, respect the three views of others, and respect each other's differences. Only if you respect others, others will respect you.
Equal treatment and mutual respect are the most basic rules for people to interact with each other.
02
Reliability is high matching
I have heard a saying: "To really make friends, you have to find people who are reliable, and smart people can only chat." ”
What is reliable?
Someone once made a summary: there are explanations everywhere, everything has fallen, and everything has an echo.
A person who likes to play a little clever is easy to lose things; a person who is serious and down-to-earth often makes people feel at ease.
Once, the painter Liu Yong and his daughter watered the flowers together. The daughter quickly completed the task and was ready to go out and play.
But Liu Yong stopped her and asked, "If you look at the flowers that your father watered, what is the difference between the flowers you watered?" ”
The daughter looked at it and felt that there was nothing different.
Therefore, Liu Yong carefully uprooted the flowers that his daughter watered and the flowers he watered.
When the daughter looked closely, her face turned red. It turned out that Dad's water had already penetrated to the roots, and his own watering only wet the surface of the soil.
Liu Yong taught her daughter with a heavy heart: you can't do superficial work, you must do it thoroughly, and do it "at the root"; you should also become a responsible, responsible, and reliable person.
"Reliable, easy to say, complicated to fall; sounds like a feeling, and doing it is a principle." Truly reliable people have the ability to make people feel at ease.
In this world, there is no shortage of smart people, and what is missing is people who are reliable and down-to-earth in the world.
For the rest of your life, you must walk with reliable and down-to-earth people. At the same time, we must always remind ourselves to be a responsible and reliable person.
Only if you continue to be reliable, you will meet friends who are as reliable as you.
03
Thick is the top match
When we think of thick roads, what do we think of?
A simple, thick face, not talkative, not sociable, seemingly silly. Not really. "Great wisdom is foolish, great cleverness is clumsy", revealing intelligence everywhere may not be able to explain a person's character.
Thick, seemingly simple, but an important hole card for a person.
There is a farmer's corn variety that has an excellent harvest every year, and the secret of his success is simple: he will not hesitate to distribute his excellent seeds to other farmers.
He said that corn pollinates by the wind, insects can also pollinate, and different varieties of corn are cross-pollinated, which is easy to have an impact on yield, so he is happy that farmers are happy to sow the same good variety. Being good to everyone is actually good to yourself.
There is a saying in the "Disciple Rules", "Give more and take less", don't always think about asking for others, but learn to give more. Being generous is a slow process of gain, and people who are generous are honest and responsible, but not stupid. Choosing a generous path is a manifestation of foresight.
In life, we must first "be able to be human" and then "be able to do things". It is a generous way not to argue and not to grab, and to be humble and courteous; it is a thick way to eat small losses and not to make big mistakes; it is also a kind way to treat people with kindness and to be willing to give in to things.
In the final analysis, whether people can get along with each other first depends on whether they respect each other; whether they can have deep friendships mainly depends on whether they are reliable; whether they can go on for a long time, and ultimately depends on their character.
Short-term interactions look at temperament, and lifelong interactions look at character. The journey of life is long and tortuous, and we must walk side by side with the right people.
END