Parents' educational concepts, vision, patterns, visions, ways of thinking and parenting methods have the greatest impact on children's growth.
Parents give their children a good education method and create a suitable family environment, which can make children take many fewer detours on the road of growth.
In the process of raising children, we can make full use of the following eight educational rules, which can make children take many fewer detours in their growth and become a confident and self-disciplined superior student.
01 The Law of Dreams - Children need dreams to grow up
Children with dreams often have a motivation to work hard to achieve their dreams.
Therefore, we parents may wish to sow the seeds of dreams for our children when they are young.
If it is not enough to help children sow the seeds of dreams, we also need to continue to create a good growth environment for this seed, encourage children to learn to "loosen the soil, weed, fertilize, water" self-intervention of "seed", and continue to move towards their own goals, so that this seed can grow into a big tree in the future.
02 The Rosenthal Effect – Positive Expectations for Children
American psychologist Rosenthal tested 18 classes of students in grades one through six at a school on "future trends, and then gave a list of the "most promising people" to the principal and teachers and told them to keep it a secret. One fact to emphasize is that the students on the list are randomly selected.
Eight months later, a miracle occurred: all the students on that list had made great progress in their academic performance, their self-confidence had been greatly enhanced, and they were more willing to deal with others.
The results of the study show that when adults have positive expectations for children, children will develop in a good way; conversely, without positive expectations for children, children's development will become very general.
The Rosenthal effect tells us that in order for a child to develop better, it is necessary to pass on more positive expectations and encouragement to him.
03 The Law of Delayed Gratification - Cultivate children's self-control from an early age
The law of "delayed gratification" tells us that children who can resist the temptations of the present have clearer life goals and are more resistant to the temptations of short-term interests, which means that they have stronger self-control, making it easier for them to succeed in their future studies and careers.
We parents can use the "delayed gratification" rule to educate our children. For example, when the child puts forward the need, do not immediately meet him, but to put out some conditions, so that the child in the waiting and persistence, to cultivate their own self-control.
04 The Law of Reinforcement - Cultivate good habits in children
Educating children is essentially about developing their good habits.
The key to allowing children to develop good habits lies in the correct guidance and example of parents to their children.
There's a "whale experiment" that's very interesting: the researchers put a glass wall in the water, with the whale and the food on one side.
At first, the whale slammed into the glass, but then it finally discovered that it was impossible, so after a while, it stopped hitting.
The researchers then dismantled the glass wall, and the whale still thought that there was a glass wall in front of it, and only moved on its own side.
Human behavior, like the results of this experiment, is solidified after a period of time or repeated experiences, forming a habit.
The core point of the "law of reinforcement" is that "good habits are constantly reinforced", and an action will become a habit if it is repeatedly experienced.
Therefore, if you want your child to develop the habit of reading, you must squeeze out a little time to read with your child every day; if you want your child to develop the habit of not playing mobile games, don't brush your mobile phone in front of your child all day long; if you want your child to develop the habit of exercising, you must insist on exercising with your child every day...
05 The Fish Tank Rule – Children need room to grow freely
Someone put a few small fish into the fish tank, although after several years, the small fish is still a small fish, nothing has changed.
But one day, the fish tank was broken, so I raised these small fish in the pond in the yard, and I didn't expect that these small fish would soon grow into big fish.
Small fish, which had not changed much in previous years, have grown into large fish because their environment has changed, and they have gained the space to grow freely.
Not only small fish need free growth space, children are the same, we only break the "fish tank" in our hearts, in order to let children get more free growth space, get greater development.
How to break the "fish tank" in our hearts, which requires us not to cross the line in the process of children's growth, to create a relaxed and free growth environment for children, so that they have the opportunity to explore and practice, so that children can get greater gains.
06 The Law of Natural Punishment – Let the child bear the blame for himself
What is the law of "natural punishment"? In simple terms, it is to allow children to try, but to make them bear the natural consequences of their own faults, which is natural punishment.
This is equivalent to sending a message to the child that everyone is responsible for their own actions, and the faults you have caused cannot be borne by others, but can only be borne by yourself.
We can use the law of natural punishment in family education, such as something is obviously not right, but the child must try, we parents can ensure safety, allow the child to try according to their own ideas, but to clearly tell the child that the consequences should be borne by himself. The final result can be imagined, and the child learned from this incident.
07 The Law of Wolf Nature - Pampering and Nurturing Children's Curiosity
Wolves are the most curious animals in the world.
For children, they are also full of curiosity, and curiosity is the origin of all interests, and it is also an unlimited motivation for children to explore knowledge.
In response to children's curiosity, all we parents have to do is to care for and cultivate. It is the innate curiosity of children to be cared for, and the higher level of curiosity of children is cultivated.
When children show curiosity about new things, we parents not only can not stop, but also encourage children to think, and under the premise of ensuring safety, let them try.
08 The Law of the South Wind - Educate children to pay attention to ways and methods
The "Law of the South Wind" says that the south wind is more powerful than the north wind, and it is necessary to see who can take off the coat of the pedestrian.
The north wind was full of strength and blew a breath toward the pedestrians, but not only failed to blow off the pedestrians' coats, but because of the cold wind, the pedestrians wrapped their coats tighter and tighter. Looking at the south wind, its approach is very different from the north wind, and it adopts a gentle approach, slowly blowing a warm wind towards the pedestrians, and the pedestrians feel the warmth, so they take off their coats.
The "Law of the South Wind" tells us that we should pay attention to ways and methods in educating children.
When we educate children, if we just blindly criticize and accuse, it will only make children more and more rebellious; conversely, if we adopt a gentle and rainy way of education, we can receive more educational results. Tolerance for children is an educational force stronger than mere punishment.
epilogue
Whether children can become adults is closely related to the level of parents' education.
If we want our children to take fewer detours in their growth, we parents must make full use of the above educational rules to help our children grow better.