Huan Huan was pulled out by her girlfriend to go shopping, but the clothes and cosmetics in the store were now all out of attraction in Huan Huan's eyes.
Absent-mindedly, she scratched the screen of her mobile phone over and over again, not because of work, but because before going out, Huan Huan specially sent a selfie to her boyfriend Xianchao.
It's just that two hours and thirty-four minutes have passed, and Xianchao's familiar head has not yet moved.
In the afternoon, Huan Huan excused himself and did not even play with his favorite escape room, so he ended early and returned home.
Before he could change his shoes when he got home, he called his boyfriend for the first time, but no one answered the phone.
Huan Huan was completely panicked, and her mind kept coming up with the scene of her boyfriend dating with other girls behind her back, and the more she thought about it, the more chaotic her brain became, and she couldn't do anything.
It was hard to wait until ten o'clock in the evening, Xian Chao finally came to the news that he accidentally overslept, Huan Huan instantly resurrected with blood, it turned out that he still liked himself!
More than once, Xianchao gradually became impatient and let Huan Huan find something to do on his own.
Huan Huan is not without her own job, but since falling in love with Xian Chao, Huan Huan's ability to live independently has been seriously degraded.
She often sends a sweet circle of friends, to the effect that she has finally found a good person who has held her in the palm of her hand for fear of falling in the palm of her hand and in her mouth, hoping that he will carefully take care of himself for a lifetime.
Once, Huan Huan went out and forgot to bring the important information that the company needed, which led the leader to find Huan Huan alone for this matter and talk seriously.
As soon as he came out of the leadership office, Huan Huan complained to Xianchao: "I blame you, I didn't remind me when I went out in the morning, I was scolded by the leader today, if you love me, how can you not even pay attention to this matter." ”
Xianchao, who was at work, was confused, and he didn't know what he had done wrong.
As the days passed, the two accumulated more and more complaints, and eventually separated.
The love brain is a love-first mode of thinking, which refers to those who put all their energy and minds on love and lovers as soon as they fall in love.
In life, they spend a lot of time and energy on the matter of love, so that they often fall into self-doubt of "he loves me, he doesn't love me".
Even so, the outcome of love is usually grainy and disappointing.
Why do some girls wake up when they are not in love, and when they talk about love, they become love brains?
In fact, there are two reasons:
On the one hand, because they received less attention and love in childhood, when they grew up, they especially longed for someone who could love and protect themselves more unreservedly than their parents.
When they meet someone they love deeply, they will be desperate to regard each other as their own in this life.
On the other hand, because the love experience is not rich, the sweet words of the other party, the behavior of the girl quickly makes the girl fall in love.
She couldn't tell what the boy's love for her was, only that the moth put out the fire and had no remorse.
Is the love brain not saved? How can you reverse the low position in the relationship?
01
Don't take love too seriously and reorder life
Some people think of love as oxygen and feel that they can't live without it for a minute.
Some people treat love as a small dessert after a meal, which only accounts for a small part of life.
The same is love, different people have different ways of treating, some people put love first; some are careers, hobbies... Finally, there is love.
Especially a lot of boys, you see they are at work, basketball, games, etc., spend far more time than with their girlfriends, don't they worry about emotional changes?
Do they want to know what the other person is doing every minute?
In the final analysis, it is only because love occupies a relatively small proportion in their hearts.
We can learn from the mentality of boys, to work hard, to tap their potential, to cultivate their hobbies.
Take love as a spice of life, as one of the many dresses in your wardrobe, and as one of your own rows of lipstick.
When your work is getting better and better, more and more smooth, you are getting more and more beautiful, and all aspects are moving in a better direction, what reason do boys have not like you?
Also because you are looking at love in a relaxed and casual state, so that the experience of both parties in love is more comfortable, and the road to love will be smoother and more lasting.
02
Get rid of the trust mentality and learn to be alone
What is the trust mentality? It refers to giving over the right to be happy and sad to others.
The subtext is: Only he can make me happy, and if he wants to make me sad, I can only be sad.
Many girls have been in love with brains because they have not yet grown into a complete person, and they do not understand what is the homework that must be done independently.
They hope that someone will love themselves for no reason, take care of themselves like parents, and make every decision in life for themselves.
In fact, everyone is an independent individual, and even couples who have been in love for decades still cannot change such an objective fact.
Everyone has their own space to be alone, has their own friends, works, and can't be around each other 24 hours a day.
The vines attached to the tree are not as strong as the trees, and the suffocating feelings can only accelerate the demise of love.
Just like Huan Huan, the negligence in his own work should bear the consequences himself.
However, she believes that this is Xianchao's fault, that Xianchao does not pay enough attention to his work and does not love himself enough, which leads to her being criticized by the leader.
From Xianchao's point of view, he may feel inexplicable: "Why should you blame me for your work?" ”
Even for couples, there are boundaries.
Couples are not conjoined babies, and everyone should support the part they have to face independently and become a person with independent charm.
03
Stay sane
Some people say that love makes people crazy, makes people lose their minds, makes people iq zero... This sentence is not false.
As I read a report the other day, it was to the effect that a married woman originally had a lovely child, a husband who could earn money.
But she hated her husband for not being romantic, did not often talk to herself, and did not give herself small gifts.
Instead, she sneaked in with a man who had nothing to do but would say sweet words to coax herself to be happy, and for this lover, she resolutely divorced her husband.
After she and this lover were together, the standard of living plummeted, and the two quarreled every day over trivial matters.
In contrast, the previous life did not know how many times happier.
When she cried and wanted to go back, she found that her original happy life could not go back.
In the relationship, we should not be easily carried away by sweet words, nor should we pay attention to some details that are too small to be small, and judge whether the feelings have changed through these details.
Judging whether a man loves you or not is never based on these superficial things.
Only through rational analysis, judging from his behavior, can we get closer to the truth of objective facts.
04
Strictly grasp your own bottom line
The bottom line is one's principle, which cannot be crossed and trampled upon.
The same is true in love, don't lower your standards just because the other person is the person you love.
Once you do that, the other person feels that you don't deserve respect.
If you want to have a long-term stable relationship and want to be respected by men, then you should understand one thing:
Grasp your own bottom line, do not easily change your own guidelines because of the attitude and opinion of the other party.
Many girls fall in love with boys, especially after a long time, they become more and more dependent on him, but also gradually lose the ability to theorize right and wrong with each other.
When the boy makes a mistake, the girl clearly does not like it in her heart, and cannot accept it, but does not dare to express it.
What they thought in their hearts was: If we get into an unpleasant or quarrel because of this, will he not like me and break up with me? So what can I do, I can't do without him.
You know, if a boy loves a girl, he will certainly respect the girl, a person who constantly tests your bottom line, and the degree of love can be imagined.
Love is important, but the bottom line cannot be lost.
A girl with a bottom line can better protect herself in love, and at the same time, she can make love go more lasting and smooth.
As Tao Zhe sang in the song: It is really simple to have fallen in love with you deeply, and it does not matter whether it is dark or dark.
Love does have magic to make people crazy, but if we want to make the fire of love burn more permanently, it requires us to calm down and use the scientific method to love.
Author | Liu Wan loves words, likes psychology, pays attention to personal spiritual growth, is currently engaged in educational work, immersed in the study of gender relations and women's self-improvement, and hopes that through words, everyone will have new feelings and harvests for feelings.