【Disclaimer】The graphics and text come from the Network, if there is infringement, please contact to delete!
Chinese have had the habit of worshiping ancestors and worshipping gods since ancient times, but what kind of state did our ancients seek to worship ancestors and worship gods?
It is the power to seek a sense of stability and example. It is a natural belief, not a superstitious belief.
But now there are many people who are superstitious and enjoy it.
Not only were they superstitious when they were young, but they were also superstitious when they grew up, and even after the age of knowing their destiny, they were still superstitious, why?
For throughout the course of life, a link of life is not fully established. And whether such a link is formed or not is particularly evident in our children.
Are there enough links?
When the emotional bond between our parents and children, the link of life, is perfect and sufficient.
When our child shows a calm, composed, and confident and open mind, then no matter what the environment, he can show true ease, self-confidence, and self, rather than a state of blind obedience.
There are many specific manifestations of whether a complete link is established in life, and we can carefully observe.
For example, today's children are becoming more and more dependent on their mothers or fathers. When he sleeps at night, he can't see his father or mother, and he refuses to sleep. One of the important reasons why children do this is that the emotional link is not enough.
Because when the child falls asleep, the feeling given to him is that he has become himself, he has become a person, and there is no feeling of life, a feeling of mutual life, between his father and mother. There is no difference and difference between the parents and the absence, but there is a real difference and difference.
Therefore, when the child blindly refuses to sleep, wants you to play with you, and asks you for all kinds of things that you think cannot or cannot be given, what is prompted is the child's desire for parental emotions.
He wants to go further with your life, to link without barriers.
Let you be more integrated with each other, feel your real attention to him from the heart, and recognize and protect his growth.
This is a desire for power that children want to express and express from the heart. In fact, this shows that his inner strength is insufficient. So he wanted to get it from his parents.
And what did our parents do?
The vast majority showed that the first was impatient, the second was disapproval, the third was restrictive, the fourth was indifferent, and the fifth was beaten. The result hurts our children again and again.
Such an emotion and appeal is not satisfied, and eventually it will manifest itself in adolescence and you, completely turning face to you, and completely becoming more and more unreasonable with you.
There are also parents who feel that when they are six or seven years old, their children are suddenly not as well-behaved as before.
In fact, this is also a spiritual need formed by his lack of attention in his growth process.
What he calls such a mischievousness, such a performance, is actually to reflect the first sense of his presence, his need for people's attention to him. This is what we have to understand and understand.
Is the child behaving consistently inside and out?
Another state is that the child behaves inconsistently after being around the parents and after the child and the parents are separated.
Some children, in front of our parents, seem willful and incomprehensible, and want what they want.
In front of outsiders, or in unfamiliar circumstances, they behave well-behaved, obedient, and obedient. This is also a fundamental cause of the many current child injuries.
They can do whatever they want in front of their parents, while on the outside they act vulnerable and insecure, which is a more concrete manifestation of their emotions not getting a proper link, and their inner strength is not strong enough.
Of course, there is also a reverse state, in front of the parents to accept, is a little obedient, the result is out, all kinds of misdeeds, this is the embodiment of the two extremes.
Because the child's inner strength is pure, if we cannot give him a guide of the right path, a bright and upright upward force to lead, he will easily embark on these two extreme paths: either to the left or to the right.
To a certain extent, this reflects the bias of parents in the leadership of their children and the entire educational process.
Therefore, if we want our children to live a healthier and happier life, and the level and realm of life can be higher, then we must make a full fuss from the child's most basic link, such a mutual communication and accommodation.
Be prepared so that our children can get more and more correct guidance for healthy growth.
Teach without saying
After my wife became pregnant, I always used classic books to teach and enlighten my children. Later, some traditional cultural enlightenment reading materials were added, such as "Thousand Character Text", "Three Character Classic", "Sound Rhythm Enlightenment", "Kindergarten Qionglin" and so on.
At that time, I started nagging her from 8 o'clock and continued until 9 o'clock. So my child, since childhood, has been particularly close to me, and the important reason for this is that she is familiar with my voice.
I remember when the child was 6 months old, I sat on the right side of her mother to read to her, she ran from the left side of the mother to the right, I went to the left and read to her again, she herself ran to the left again.
This is really amazing, if parents are ready to have children, you can go back and experiment, and children who have done prenatal education and those who have not done prenatal education are really different.
At the age of 6, she knew more than 4,000 Chinese characters, and she could read through the Book of Poetry by herself.
In fact, it is still that sentence, I have not really taught, just go with the flow.
For example, if you take her to play on the street, she sees all kinds of signs and she will always ask, "Daddy, what is this?" "Mom, what is this?" We told her what it was.
Usually, my mother reads her picture books, and when I read the classics to her, she will look at them word by word. Just like this bit by bit, the work of the years and months is imperceptible.
This is called the unspoken teaching. You don't need to teach deliberately, you just have this atmosphere, this state, your child will naturally grow.
It's only a few years to really spend time with your child
Many parents may have such a cognitive misunderstanding, that is, to sleep with their children, and when he falls asleep, he will get up and do his own things. In fact, such an approach is wrong.
To sleep with a child, you must sleep with him, because this is a kind of honesty. More importantly, parents should not think that when the child is asleep, he will not feel it, and he will not realize that you are still not around him. In fact, he can feel it.
Everyone can seriously feel that when we lie next to the child, even if the child and we sleep in separate beds, the child is a particularly safe and stable sleep, and his dreams are stealing pleasure.
But if we tell him again and again: You sleep, you sleep, Mom and Dad sleep with you. As a result, the child fell asleep, and then we slipped away.
Over time, you will find it increasingly difficult for your child to fall asleep. You will find that the child does not like to sleep more and more, because he knows that as soon as he falls asleep, you will slip away, away from him, away from him, away from him.
Therefore, be sure to learn to sleep with your child. This is critical.
In fact, we actually slept with our children for just a few short years. Once they realize that they exist, when they enter puberty and you want to sleep with him, he may not want to sleep with you.
So when we start with children to when we can really get along with children without any obstacles, and can get along in a completely spiritual way, time is very short, and opportunities are precious.
Remember not to miss it. Only in this way can we adjust the child's living state and achieve the reconciliation of the inside and outside of our body.
To sum up, as parents, it is from our words and deeds, from our every move, from our sitting and lying down, to give our children a correct guidance, not a verbal lesson, so we say that the teaching of saints without words is such a state.
What we need to do is give the child the power of modelling, for him to imitate and grow up.
Let him know and recognize the powerful charm of life and the joy of growth that he has in his heart.