Socrates said, "Tell me who your friend is, and I'll know what kind of person you are." ”
If you want to see a person clearly, look at the friends around him. The principle of clustering things is vividly reflected in interpersonal communication.
However, when people reach a certain age, they will find that although there are many friends, it is difficult to find a confidant. When you walk together, most of them are exchanges of interests, not heart-to-heart, when you become poor and old, it is inevitable that you will feel sad because of friendship.
"Things are rare and precious", there are not many sincere friends, once they meet, we must cherish them and use their way and attitude towards you to repay them.
01
Friends who can be considerate of others and help sincerely.
During the Spring and Autumn Period, Guan Zhong and Bao Shuya were both Qi people, and when they were young, they did business together. Because the Guan Zhong family is very poor, they often share more profits, and occasionally they will quietly take some money and entrust someone to send it home for their mother.
Later, they worked together as officials in the State of Qi, and Guan Zhong was dismissed from his official position several times and ridiculed by outsiders. Bao Shuya still regarded him as a friend and helped him say good things at the imperial court.
Some people laughed at Bao Shuya, how did he meet such a friend?
Bao Shuya said: "A person who takes money to filial piety to his parents is very noble; it is also very normal for a person with bad luck to often lose his official position." ”
When Guan Zhong became a high official in the imperial court, he said: "The parents of those who gave birth to me, bao Ziye, who knew me." ”
Gorky wrote in Isolation: "If people don't understand each other, then how can they learn to respect each other silently?" ”
People are selfish, and they all want to get more money and be able to occupy a high position. Only those who are sincere to you can think differently, put your difficulties in your heart, and keep your benefits in mind.
Whether it is in sympathy or appreciation, it is a very noble feeling.
Perhaps, people will not really understand each other when they interact with each other, but they can understand, look at problems from different angles, and treat contradictions.
02
Friends who live hard and frugally, do things thoughtfully.
Sima Guang once said, "Extravagance is more lustful. Gentlemen who desire more are longing for wealth and nobility, and they are in vain and quickly bring misfortune. ”
In real life, there are more meals to eat and drink, and more friends to drink and meat, but the meal is scattered, and the feelings are scattered. When we meet again in the future, I don't even want to say hello.
Understand that people who are willing to invite you to dinner at home are invaluable. Maybe there is no good wine or good food in his family, but this kind of heart is not given by ordinary friends.
The family eats clean and hygienically, and does not spend much money.
During the Warring States period, the chancellor of the State of Qi, Meng Yujun, took in a very poor doorman, Feng Chen.
Once, Meng Tianjun asked, who can help Xue Yi collect debts?
Feng Chen volunteered and set off with a few retinues.
What is puzzling is that Feng Chen did not take the money back, but reduced the debt of the poor. When Meng Tianjun knew, he was indignant.
Feng Chen said: "I discarded those meaningless IOUs, which made your reputation famous and gave you a lot of wealth." ”
Meng Tianjun realized that his life was too greedy and extravagant, and the official shelf was too big. Since then, he has been more low-key, his life has been more simple, and in many dangers, he has been loved by the people, thus saving himself.
True gentlemen, know how to hold simple and humble, their style is very simple, and will remind you in time, to know how to converge, consider the long-term life.
Today there can be big fish and big meat, everyone is brothers and sisters, tomorrow coarse tea and light rice, everyone will not know each other. This way of making friends needs to be discarded. Take the initiative to make friends with people who insist on living a "poor life", and your wealth will slowly increase.
03
Friends who can change their mistakes have a bright future.
There is a saying in the "Cai Gen Tan": "It is not difficult to treat the villain strictly, but it is difficult not to be evil; a gentleman's change of discipline is not as good as the self-renewal of the villain." ”
We are often very angry with villains, and even want to have a grudge with villains.
In fact, many villains are good by nature, but he has gone a crooked path and has not been given the opportunity to change. If you can give the villain a chance to change, then he will also be grateful to you and may become your nobleman.
To be a person, we must have foresight, and we cannot look down on others based on their past words and deeds.
Yan Zi, a diplomat in the Spring and Autumn Period, when he was out on the road, met a prisoner, Yue Shi's father, used his own carriage, ransomed him, and elected him as an official.
Yan Zi knew that Father Yue Shi was a reader, and making a mistake once in a while could not block his light, and he should pull him at a critical time.
Later, Yue Shi's father became a powerful general under Yan Zi.
As long as a person still knows how to be grateful, then he is a good person and can socialize.
You give a blemished person a chance to correct it, and he will treat you as a regenerating parent; you give a smooth person a chance to develop, and he will feel that you are "coveting something".
Different ways of making friends will make you get different rewards.
04
Friends who do things with strategy and faith, and communicate reliably.
When people lift people, life is like a campfire burning; people step on people, and life is as cold as ice and snow.
If you're going to make a difference, look for people who are willing to help you and who can help you.
There are always some people who, for the sake of their friends' affairs, insert knives in both ribs, even if they lose their own interests.
For example, during the Warring States period, Lin Xiangru, who took the order of the King of Zhao and took Heshibi to the Qin Kingdom. King Qin Zhaowang thought that he was very powerful and could get heshi bi at will.
Lin Xiangru was not afraid of power, and through a harsh negotiation, he brought Heshi Bi back to the Zhao Kingdom.
The ancients said, "Dragons have scales and there are reverse scales." ”
When an ordinary man violates the majesty of a king, he will bring about the disaster of death. However, Lin Xiangru puts "task" as the most important thing and does what he says. Because of this, the great general of the Zhao State was honest and willing to be friends with him and advance and retreat together.
Ma Yun said: "Integrity is a cornerstone, and the most basic things are often the most difficult to do." But whoever does this well can go a long, far way. ”
Trust is the foundation of making friends, and it is also a very valuable character.
05
People interact with each other, they are mutual. If you want to get help from others, you have to take the initiative to help others.
For sincere friends, you should "drip the grace of water, gushing springs to repay each other." In this way, this friendship is as precious as gold and as warm as a confidant.
You are a nobleman, and you meet noble people everywhere.
You are a rotten person, and you meet villains everywhere.
To be a person, you need to reflect often, change it if you have it, and encourage it if you don't.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.