When I was a child, my uncle and aunt were busy with work, and my cousin was always carried by my grandparents. When I was a child, I often liked to go to my grandparents' house to play, so my relationship with my cousin was very good since I was a child, and we often played together and studied together.
As time went on, in the blink of an eye we all grew up, and after going to different universities, we had less and less contact with each other.
After graduation, my cousin stayed in the field because of his work, and I returned to my hometown to work, and there was still very little contact between the two people. However, because my uncles and aunts also work in my hometown, the relationship between our two families is still quite good.
Once, uncles and aunts and aunts and uncles drove out together, as a result, when playing on the bank of the river, the aunt accidentally stepped on a stone, fell from the riverbank, just hit the head by a stone under the riverbank, suddenly the blood flowed, uncle and aunt rushed to the nearby hospital, fortunately the medical treatment is more timely, there is no danger to life, but there is a certain brain damage, the need for brain surgery.
When the cousin learned of this news, he also rushed over in time to check on his aunt's condition in the hospital and accompanied his aunt to complete the operation.
The operation went smoothly, and the aunt's life was not hindered, but there was a problem with limb control, and rehabilitation training was needed to restore self-care ability.
At this time, it was supposed that the cousin should take more care of the aunt, but the cousin dropped a sentence: "Need money to call me" and went back, on the grounds that he was "busy at work".
You know, although the operation was successful, but the current trauma of the operation has not healed, the aunt is still in a state of life can not take care of themselves, their family only has a cousin a child, but the cousin is gone.
For this matter, the adults in the family are talking about it, thinking that the cousin is a bit "impersonal", although the cousin has never refused when he needs money, but it seems to be very indifferent emotionally.
The cousin was actually blamed by the elders of the family, and the cousin's answer was "Professional caregivers can take care of people better than I can take care of people, and I can take care of my mother better, and I work hard to earn money, isn't it better to hire a nurse for my mother and pay hospitalization fees?" ”
These words sound so reasonable, but everyone in the family knows that the cousin is unwilling to get up early and take care of the aunt greedily, and the feelings between the cousin and the aunt, or the feelings between the cousin and his parents, have faded since they were young.
The reason for the cold relationship between the cousin and the parents is actually very simple, that is, because the cousin has been raised by the grandparents when he was a child, and there is little family interaction after going to school, he began to boarding school after middle school, and then stayed in the field after college, from childhood to adulthood, the cousin almost did not get along with his parents for too long, so the feelings between them must also be very indifferent.
The impact of the indifference of parent-child relationships
Poor parent-child relationship not only has an impact on the growth of children, but also on all aspects of the family.
The impact on the child: the poor parent-child relationship, the most obvious impact on the child, is to interfere with the child's cognition of family affection.
Children cannot feel the kind of affection from their parents, so they cannot experience father's love and maternal love, and this feeling has a great influence on the child's character development, thinking development, and conceptual cognition.
Children who grow up in an environment without fatherly and maternal love are likely to have a cold personality, no emotions, and do not believe in feelings.
Of course, it is not that such children are very poor, although they are extremely poor in terms of sensibility, they are generally very rational and efficient in doing things, but to outsiders, they seem to be just a machine without feelings.
Impact on the family: The harmonious maintenance of the family needs to be the emotional bond between family members, and the relationship between parents is not good, which will lead to family breakdown, and poor parent-child relationship will also affect the quality of the family environment.
The essence of the family should be happy and harmonious, but if the parent-child relationship is not good, the family will lack the joy and laughter of the children, and the atmosphere of the family will be very lonely and monotonous.
The impact on parents: The parent-child relationship is not good, the harm to parents is also very large, and it is "magic damage". First of all, parents will not be able to enjoy what is called parent-child time. Second, parents will feel sad and painful for "filial piety".
In addition, what is wrong with the parents' elderly body is not ushered in by the child's careful care, but an indifferent response. In other words, parents cannot enjoy their children's old-age care time in their later years.
Children who grow up and "don't kiss their mothers" have already begun to appear when they are young
Those children who "don't kiss their mothers" when they grow up are actually the first signs when they are young.
There is often no interaction with the mother. Children are very dependent on their parents, if you find that children have no dependence on their mothers when they are young, and they usually do not talk and interact with their mothers, then the chances will be "not kissing".
Don't care about anything about Mom. If the child is close to the mother, then when the mother has something, the child will care very much and hope to help the mother solve the problem. But if the child does not care about anything about the mother, it means that the child has no mother in his heart.
I don't like my mother to interfere with my own affairs. Children essentially need to be taken care of by their mothers, because they can not only get help with their growth, but also gain a sense of security. But if the child has a bad relationship with the mother, then the mother will be regarded as an "outsider" and refuse help or interference from the mother.
How to enhance parent-child feelings and prevent "not kissing"?
In order to avoid the situation of "not kissing the mother", mothers must pay attention.
More effectively accompany the child, do not use the excuse of "busy work" to prevaricate the child, because when the child grows up, it is likely that the mother will also be "busy at work".
Maintain due respect and trust for the child, because the parent and the child themselves are equal relations, but the parent is the caregiver, and the child is the one who is raised.
Only when parents give their children equal respect and trust, the relationship between wives will be deepened, and children will have deeper feelings for parents.
Looking at your own behavior from an objective point of view is a good self-examination method, which can help parents find their own wrong education methods and inappropriate speech behaviors in time.
Don't underestimate this, most parents now often do not realize their mistakes when they make inappropriate behavior, thus destroying the parent-child relationship.
epilogue
Effectively maintain parent-child feelings from an early age, and will be "closer" after growing up. So, how do you usually treat your children? Do you spend a lot of time with your kids?
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