Praise will make the child smarter, praise the child more, he will be more confident and optimistic in the future!
But in reality, there are not so many parents who can affirm the wisdom of their children, and they often think that children cannot boast more, be modest, and restrain a little, so that they will not be proud.
Case sharing
Case 1: "Tong Tong piano played really well, must be very serious practice, right?" ”
Mom rushed to answer: wherever, playing messy! Just play casually, I don't expect her to play well in the future!
Case two: "Xiangxiang painting is very interesting, very thoughtful, I want to be a small painter in the future, right?" ”
Mom rushed to answer: Barely! It's still far off! I didn't take it seriously at all during class, and I was always distracted!
Case Three: "Lily is very energetic in dancing, is she very fond of dancing?" ”
Mother rushed to answer: Generally speaking, this is where it goes, I just saw that she was too noisy to let her learn to dance, and jumped casually.
Case Four: "Junjun, the plane is doing a great job, it must have taken a lot of time, right?" ”
Dad opened his mouth: usually know to fight randomly, and fight irregularly! Throwing things around all day and packing up is too much trouble! Let him paint or paint, just know how to play!
Impact on children's growth
Every time they appreciate other people's children, children always have their eyes shining, waiting for an answer, they will always encounter a "modest" and "polite" from their parents, successfully extinguishing the child's full self-confidence, and pouring a basin of cold water on the child's desire to be praised.
Most parents see that their children have made certain progress, and their hearts are actually happier than anyone, but they always have to say two duplicitous words in front of their children, and they don't know that because of this, it is most likely to ruin a child.
Children are still young, their minds are not yet mature, and they need to rely on the evaluation of adults to find a position for themselves. But your excessive modesty makes it easy for them to believe it.
For a long time, it will only make them reject painting, dancing, practicing words, and practicing the piano, thinking that no matter how they practice, they are still just "average", "not very good" and "far away", and over time they will lose their self-confidence.
Give the right compliments at the right time
Dear parents, when others praise your child, don't be too "hypocritical and modest", give affirmation in time, and give the right praise, so that the child's psychology can develop better.
And praise is also methodical, Stanford University professor Carol Dweck mentioned: praising a child's talent instead of his efforts, strategies and choices is slowly stifling his growth mindset!
I hope that everyone can protect the child's growth mindset, and when praising the child or replying to the praise of others, you can try to use the following 15 contexts:
Praise contextual sharing
1, you are very hard! (Praise for effort)
2, although it is difficult, but you have not given up. (Praise persistence)
3, your attitude of doing things is very good. (Praise Attitude)
4, you have made a lot of progress in ________ (Praise details)
5, this method is really innovative! (Praise creativity)
6, you and your friends work together awesomely! (Praise and cooperation)
7, you are very responsible for this matter! (Praise for Leadership)
8, you are not afraid of difficulties, too rare! (Praise for courage)
9, you helped _____ complete her task, really good! (Praise for enthusiasm)
10, you clean up your room/books really well. (Praise responsibility)
11, I believe in you, because ______________ (Praise Credit)
12. You did well when you attended the event today! (Praise participation)
13, you attach great importance to the opinions of others, which is very well done. (Praise for humility)
14, I am so glad you made such a choice. (Praise Choice)
15, you remember _____! Thoughts were awesome! (Praise for being careful)
If parents encounter others praising your child again, don't reply modestly: "Where, where, general..."
Please choose to give him a generous affirmation, for the growth of children, praise must not be stingy Oh!
We never doubt the heart of every parent who loves their children, but when the children do things unsatisfactorily and mistakes occur, please parents can reflect on themselves in time, lead by example, correctly guide the child to develop well, and do not wait until the child is desperate for us to look back!