Two days ago, a friend asked me on WeChat: Have you watched "Dear Child"? It's been particularly hot lately.
I have actually heard of this drama earlier, and I have also brushed some clips. But I didn't look.
The reason is simple, just a few spoilers, it is already very bad.
The wife was in the hospital and immediately gave birth, but the husband put aside the family to drink beer, watch the ball, and sleep???
After the wife gave birth to the child, the husband sent the placenta to the mother for the first time, in order to supplement the body of the younger brother???
Labor-management work at home every day + with two babies, originally the mood has been a little depressed recently, but also watch such a bad drama, is this not to find guilt for themselves?
But when I turned my head to surf the Internet (brushing Weibo), I brushed this hot search:
People's Daily criticized "Dear Child" by name for selling anxiety.
Unbelievable, criticized by the official media, how outrageous this drama must be
However, it is interesting that the views of most netizens in the message area are diametrically opposed.
"The reality is like this, even more exaggerated than in the play."
"Dog blood?" Obviously, it is a reality film. It's so real."
"I don't want to think about how to fundamentally solve women's anxiety problems, only blindfold their eyes and ears."
In this process, there are also state media who stand up for "Dear Child":
At present, the People's Network has closed the comment area, but my curiosity has been hung up:
Is this TV series selling anxiety? Or does it reflect reality?
After brushing through the first ten episodes in one sitting, I came to my own conclusions.
"Dear Child" is adapted from the film "Left and Right" written and directed by Wang Xiaoshuai, which tells the story of a divorced couple who have rebuilt their families separately, in order to save their daughter who is suffering from leukemia, decide to have another child and use umbilical cord blood to treat the woman's illness.
Looking at this promotional poster, there is a feeling of losing a horror movie, but when you think about it, it is quite realistic.
However, what really caused controversy was not the plot of divorced couples giving birth to a baby and saving their daughters, but the details of the first 6 episodes in which the heroine Fang Yinuo showed from the life of production and child-rearing.
In the first few episodes, the opening scene basically has a long shot showing the changes in Yinuo's pregnancy.
In the first episode, she stood in front of the mirror to remove her makeup, unloading, and found that the pregnancy spots on the left cheekbone seemed to be more, and then compared to the right side of the face, which is almost a subconscious thing that only a woman can do.
Then the camera shifts to her stomach, which is completely exposed to everyone without clothes.
In addition to the incongruous belly, what is more striking is the stretch marks under the belly, like unbridled rattan.
Yinuo gently stroked his stomach, and finally did not collapse, and the tears came out immediately.
There wasn't a single line, but every mom seemed to see her own shadow. On the barrage, it is also all "too real".
Before giving birth to a baby, I think there is nothing remarkable about being pregnant and having a child: the heroine's stomach is white and pure, morning sickness is only symbolic, and after 5 years on the screen, the child will run and talk to the kindergarten, sweetly calling mom and dad.
Until I experienced it myself, I knew that women have to pay a price for giving birth to a baby.
The stomach will not only become larger, but also grow stretch marks, like a spider web distributed on the original smooth belly; not only morning sickness, it is really possible to vomit to the ground and shake, life is better than death; in addition, the figure will be out of shape, organs will sag, as well as leakage of urine, pubic bone separation...
When pregnant, others always comfort that pregnancy is hard, and it is easy to give birth to a child. Is it easy?
No, on the contrary, the great test has just begun.
Yinuo lay on the hospital bed, and everyone in the family had a smile on their faces, welcoming the arrival of new life.
But only Yinuo's mother noticed that she was thirsty and wanted to drink water.
After unloading, Yinuo, whose pelvic floor muscles had not yet recovered, was incontinent and pulled on the bed, and her husband Xiao Lu smelled a stink.
Yinuo herself did not expect this scene to happen, and she was embarrassed to cover herself with a quilt, not wanting her husband Xiao Lu to help.
The husband said that he did not give up and helped his wife deal with it, but when he turned his head, his hands washed and washed, and the disinfectant was wiped and wiped.
After that, it was even worse.
Confinement with baby, please confinement, the confinement is not reliable; Yinuo suspects that the child has high jaundice, and the confinement does not care: This is normal, you believe my experience.
But as a result, the hospital checked jaundice value soared, and must be hospitalized to take blue light.
There is also a scene that makes me feel sad and angry across the screen: the mother-in-law takes the baby out, watching mahjong on the side, and the stroller slides out on the other side, and the child directly falls out.
In the end, my mother and mother-in-law got together and had a family war.
The plots are so realistic that after the show aired, there was a hot search on Weibo called #Dear Child Repression.
Some people say that this drama can see unmarried girls as postpartum depression.
Others call it a horror movie.
Horror? But this is exactly what happened in tens of millions of women and families, a vivid portrayal, but there were few dramas before that could be presented so completely and truly.
Even, some of the realities are even more bizarre than those played in the TV series.
Many netizens shared their experience of producing and bringing babies through this drama of dear children.
"When I was born, my husband went into the delivery room with me, and the whole time he was either in the king, or he stood in front of me and held his arms and watched me give birth." Having children is, after all, a woman's business alone.
"Observe my sister-in-law, work during the day, take care of two children at night, all sister-in-law get up at night, my brother has not been in charge." Taking care of children's living and helping with homework are basically dependent on women.
"My mother-in-law said that it would be better to ask my sister-in-law to spend so much money, so it would be better for my mother to resign and take the child, and she did not say that she would take the child after playing by herself for more than ten years." The mother-in-law who does not help and adds to the chaos is also a big catch.
"I have eaten the placenta" I believe that the maternal placenta is still a big person.
In fact, the People's Network criticized "Dear Child" and said that it "sells anxiety", which I also understand.
After all, the current fertility rate has dropped significantly, and the divorce rate is also rising, at this time, broadcasting such a realistic life film is likely to exacerbate the mentality of young people who are afraid of marriage and childbearing.
But just by covering your mouth, the problem is solved, and life is harmonious and happy from then on, can you promote fertility and marriage rates?
Apparently not. Only by facing the problem head-on can it be possible to solve it.
I remember when I was not married, my only understanding of pregnancy and giving birth to a baby was morning sickness, gaining weight, and it was very painful during childbirth.
I didn't know until I was pregnant that it wasn't that simple!
Gaining weight is only a small meaning, constipation, edema, stretch marks during pregnancy; after unloading, endless lochia, continuous depression, and countless night milk, fragmented sleep...
If I had known more at the time, I would have been better prepared, less overwhelmed, and less depressed postpartum.
But no. There were few ways to learn about this before.
Even the social expectations are like this, on the one hand, the crowd praises the greatness of the mother, but on the other hand, it despises the women's efforts and takes it for granted. You must have heard various versions of it: "Having a baby is simple, and it's good to have a baby." ”
"Which woman didn't come this way, how can you be pretentious?"
"Why is the child sick, you are a mother, how come you can't even take the child well?"
What crushes a mother is not the hardships of raising a baby, but the physical pain, as well as the mental repression of not being understood.
And one of the reasons behind these incomprehensions is precisely because the real cruelty is said too little.
Overall, I think the drama "Dear Child" is worth watching.
Each character in the play is very three-dimensional, just like you and me in life, not so perfect, not so bad, are not perfect personalities, usually have emotions of ordinary people.
The marriage of Yinuo and Xiao Lu, how to go from love to brokenness, the contradictions between them, which are completely unnecessary, are worthy of our discussion and reflection.
On the surface, Xiao Lu is the biggest fault party in this marriage, Ma Bao Man, widowed parenting, cheating... This character is also the most scolded.
But he is also really bent on letting his wife and children live a good life and live in a big house, so he will work hard, socialize with customers, and drink until his stomach hurts.
He himself also felt that he had worked very hard, worked hard for a day, and came back to coordinate the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, while his wife only had children in her eyes and did not care about herself.
Yinuo also felt that he was very wronged.
She also wants to be a relaxed and happy mother, but the unreliable sister-in-law and mother-in-law have drained her trust, causing the nerves in her whole body to tense.
She expects her husband to be able to take on childcare responsibilities with her and to be present in time when she needs it.
But in fact, at night, the child cried all night, every time she got up at night to comfort, the child was sick and she took her to the hospital, and her mother fell because of it...
There are also two very different parenting concepts: Xiao Lu advocates free-range breeding, coupled with the family conditions that the original family is not rich, let him feel that making money is the most important, and raising children is left to women.
But Yinuo did not agree, she did not seek great wealth and nobility, only hoped that when needed, the other party could be. But more often than not, she could only support herself, living like an army alone.
After the divorce, Yinuo still believes that the two separated because Xiao Lu did not love himself enough and did not love his children enough. But I think that rather than love, not understanding and not communicating is the biggest problem of two people.
What you give, I don't want; what I want, you don't give.
Extending from the plot to reality, such contradictions are also common.
Everyone is not easy, feels wronged, and then does not communicate.
You don't say, I don't say, don't understand each other's thoughts, it becomes a knot.
Accumulated to a point, duang, exploded.
With the development of the plot, after the two divorced, they both learned responsibility and consideration. Xiao Lu began to take on the responsibility of a father, and in order to take care of his daughter, he left his self-made buddies.
In the face of the contradictions of the new family, Yinuo learned to be patient and learned to consider comprehensively.
But TV dramas are art after all, we are not a promise, it is unlikely to meet so many moths in life, and remarried and just happened to meet the "angel man" Xie Tianhua.
So I think the biggest gain that this drama can bring us is: mutual understanding and more communication.
For example, the netizens in the bullet screen, some people finally understand the "hardship" of their wives, and some people begin to put down their hearts and re-examine the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
"I get you", that's a good start.
Anxiety is seen and expressed, emotions have an outlet, and there will be a breakthrough in the problem.
Hello, I am Li Diandian, 4-year-old daughter tomato, 9-year-old son potato ma ma, good at using comics and text to record the daily life of the second child chicken flying dog jumping, sharing hardcore learning resources and reliable, in-depth parenting dry goods.