A friend's family has a 7-year-old boy who is in the first grade of elementary school.
We all know that boys of this age are lively and active, their concentration is not strong, and they are a little rebellious.
Originally from kindergarten to primary school, this adaptation process made many parents anxious, coupled with the teacher called friends at every turn: children fight with classmates in school today, do small actions in class tomorrow, and lead classmates to make trouble the day after tomorrow...
Friends and husbands spend a lot of effort on children, but they can't do it thoroughly.
However, teaching children all day long, not only the husband and wife are anxious, the pressure on the children is also increasing day by day, and even the idea of being bored with school;
On the other hand, the teacher complained twice in three days, and even asked his friend to take the child to see a psychologist.
This sentence once made her friend fall into a state of contemplation, to tell the truth, what problems there are in her own children is the most clear in her heart, and the children's problems reflected by the teacher are actually the common children's love to commit.
However, the teacher's attitude made the friend a little overwhelmed.
Some people suggest that friends give gifts to the teacher and invite guests to dinner, so that the teacher will change his attitude towards the child. But friends do not want to use such a method, after all, this does not solve the child's resistance to the teacher.
If the child is taken to see a psychologist according to the teacher's advice, although the age of 7 is not very old, but now most of the children are precocious, whether it will have other effects, she can not imagine.
Moreover, denying the cultivation of children by the husband and wife for seven years is also something that friends do not want to see. After all, in addition to these situations in school, children have always been normal in life, polite to their elders, and happy with their peers.
If you have to treat your child as an abnormal situation, it will add more pressure to your child. Thinking about it, the friend made the following choice.
Listen selectively to the teacher's words.
No one is perfect, and teachers are also ordinary people, with personal subjective emotions. When teachers express their opinions on students, they are not all objective and rational.
If you know how to see the teacher as an ordinary professional, on the one hand, there is the pressure of work, on the other hand, there is a personal emotional influence, you can understand the teacher's idea of parents suing students.
Primary school teachers, especially lower grade teachers, face children to have an adaptation process from the kindergarten stage to the primary school, and children in this period also generally have anxiety, resistance to schoolwork, and resistance to rules and discipline.
If the teacher and the child cannot better integrate and adapt, both sides will feel broken. The practice of most teachers is to transfer this emotion to the parents and subjectively position the child.
In particular, some female teachers who reach middle age are under the pressure of work and competition, as well as from marriage and family, there are also troubles of having children, and may also face widowhood-style parenting life...
To put it bluntly, they are no different from any woman in the workplace, there is dissatisfaction with the status quo of life, the gap between reality and ideals... Therefore, when you show an anxious state at work, your behavior is not necessarily calm.
In this case, parents must learn to deal with it coldly, neither ignore the "conversation" of the teacher to the parents, nor can they fully believe the teacher's words, especially the specific things should be communicated with the child in time, asking the cause and process of the matter.
Seven- and eight-year-old children are the third rebellious period of life, psychological counseling at this stage is very important, if parents do not ask questions, the problems reflected by the teacher are counted on the child's head, if there is a misunderstanding, it is not conducive to the harmony of parent-child relationship.
Therefore, it is particularly important to deal with the relationship between teachers, children and parents.
Learn to be friends with your child.
Friends changed the way they used to preach, chatting with their children as friends, asking them to talk about their views on teachers and suggestions for parental education.
Children confess that they make mistakes in school, sometimes because the teacher does not solve the problem, so they think of a way, and as a result, the lack of ability is not solved, and they are punished by the teacher.
He said that the teacher favored the obedient child, did not give him a chance to explain, and often wronged himself.
In this case, as an adult, I actually feel deeply, after all, there are not many people who are misunderstood in work and life. Therefore, the friend stood from an objective point of view and talked about some problems encountered in his life, which caused the child's empathy.
She told the child: "Teachers are also ordinary people, no one is perfect, they all have their own weaknesses, once they establish a bad impression of a classmate, it is easy to have the illusion that their neighbors are suspicious." ”
"The story of "Neighbor Suspects Axe" tells that a person lost his axe, suspected that the neighbor stole it, and how to see the neighbor's every move is like stealing an axe. Later, the axe was found, and the neighbor didn't look like the axe stealer.
If you want the teacher to change your impression of you, then you must know how to control your behavior, reduce bad habits, think calmly and emotionally stable, and after a long time, the teacher will naturally have a new view of your new image.
It's not so easy to change others, so learn to change yourself. ”
After listening, the child reflects on his own behavior, lets the parents supervise himself later, and hopes that the parents can see their progress.
After solving the problem with the child, the friend obviously felt much more relaxed. Previously, whenever she encountered a teacher who reflected on the child's problems in school, she chose an impatient type of treatment, first scolding the child with a split head and covering her face, and then solving the problem.
As a result, for a long time, the child was unhappy, she was not happy, and the teacher's complaints became more and more frequent.
However, when the friend chose to reconcile with the child and listen to the child's voice, she found that many things that happened to the child were actually because of the teacher's concerns about the child's safety and anxiety about her own work.
The teacher's responsibility is not only to do a good job of teaching, but also to be responsible for the safety of a class of children, to worry that children will be hurt when they manage themselves, affecting their careers, these are all reasonable.
Therefore, when parents should communicate well with their children, let children think from the teacher's position, reduce some unsafe behaviors, strive to be self-motivated in learning, and reach a good agreement with the teacher.
In this way, when the three parties are at a level, there is basically not much anxiety.
In fact, if you think about it, instead of sitting there complaining about your children or trying to change teachers, you should find ways to solve things.
After all, in the general direction, teachers also hope that every child can achieve excellent results and be safe, not to find contradictions with parents.
END.