01
As the saying goes: no rules, no squares.
If a child makes a mistake, it is necessary to punish the parents, but the punishment should also pay attention to the wisdom and scientific way. Are you still yelling at your children, locking them up, committing cold violence, or even beating them?
These practices not only do not make children realize their mistakes, but they may also rebel because of them.
Now parents believe that children cannot be punished. But the truth is that children often make mistakes, so don't parents care?
In fact, children have mistakes, we must not only point them out, punishment is also indispensable, in order to avoid making the same mistakes next time. But punishment is not the same as scolding, in case you do not pay attention, hurt the child, you may regret it for a lifetime, but also may leave a shadow on the child.
The so-called "there are no children in the world who can't change well, only parents who will not punish!" ”
02
How to punish children in family education to play a normative role? Try the following punishments for children, which are absolutely simple and effective.
There are many ways to punish, and of course we are going to say scientific punishment, the next time the child does something wrong, mothers can choose to use it according to different scenarios, but don't just yell Oh.
Do housework
Not loving neatness, littering, and littering are the "common diseases" of some children, punishing children for housework can help him correct and cultivate the concept of children's labor.
In fact, there are some parents who do this, but they find that there are no small side effects: children are increasingly repulsive to doing housework.
The right thing to do would be this: free time, prepare something, pull the child to work with you.
This will no longer be "difficult" for the child, but for the child to pass through this matter and understand the hardship he brings to his mother.
Of course, in this process, it is best to help children develop good habits of loving cleanliness and tidying up.
Suggestiveness of body language
For example, when taking children out to eat, some children will use chopsticks and spoons to beat the tableware when the dish is not on the table, the voice is harsh, at this time the parents call his name, stare at him seriously and shake their heads.
What children are most afraid of is what their parents look like when they are angry.
Parents can take advantage of this, in the process of making mistakes, shout out his name, make a more angry look, frown and shake his head 1-2 times, and pass it on to the child through hints: You can't do this.
When your child sees it, he usually stops.
Loss of certain special treatment
Does your child have some of his favorite special treatments?
Like which cartoon to watch, play with a toy, or want to go to bed late? If there is, once your child has bad behavior, you can deprive him of this privilege.
However, parents must be cautious and not deprive too much at once, too long.
If the next day performs well, the reward privilege can be appropriately increased, and for some children, if the parents give him a pressure that he cannot get the reward, he will be able to restrain his behavior.
Verbal warnings or criticisms
For example, if a child fights with other children in an amusement park because of a scramble for toys, the mother will verbally criticize:
"It's not right to hit someone, this is the first time, Mom forgives you, if the same thing happens three times, you can't come and play after that!".
The next time the child hits someone again, tell him, "This is the second time!" Until the words appeared for the third time, tell him: "This is the third time!" ", and then immediately impose the penalty that was warned in advance.
Take responsibility for your actions
Because it is related to the child's own "interests", I think it is actually the most effective to implement.
For example, the child is watching TV at home, but secretly took the milk in the refrigerator to drink. As a result, I accidentally spilled the milk and got it all over the place.
At this time, in addition to confirming that the child is okay, the mother also has to carry out some small punishments for the child.
For example, tell him: Baby, this milk is our breakfast tomorrow, and now that it is all sprinkled, then Mom and Dad will not have to drink. How are you going to compensate us? Wouldn't it be nice to compensate with your favorite bear cookies?
Children know they're doing something wrong and generally agree.
The floor is dirty, which is also caused by the child and also needs him to take responsibility for his own actions. Next you have to say: Baby come and wash the kitchen floor with a mop.
Sometimes the child may not be able to, then the mother will have to teach the child by hand.
We must let the child know that the loss caused to others should be compensated, and the wrong thing should be responsible, let him know what kind of consequences will be after doing a certain thing, and when he finds that such consequences are he is not willing to bear, he naturally will not do it.
Ease up the conflict
Divert attention
Sometimes children make mistakes, and some parents like to talk about the problem endlessly, and the child is easy to listen to more and more annoying, causing psychological resistance.
Instead of this, it is better to take him out for a walk and change the environment. After walking for a while, tell him again: "I love you very much, but I will never allow you to hit anyone." Instead, it would make him calm down and realize his mistake.
The ultimate goal of parents disciplining their children in various ways is to cool down their children's excesses and make him stop having these bad behaviors.
So, some low-key mode of détente can sometimes be tried, and maybe it's enough to achieve the effect you expect.
03
Of course, in addition to methods, principles are also important. I think the method is on the one hand, in order to achieve good results, these principles are indispensable:
First of all, in principle, children who make mistakes, whether intentionally or unintentionally, must be punished.
If he is unintentional, an apology can make him take this as a warning; if he deliberately conceals it, the parents should increase the punishment and cultivate the child's honest and responsible character from an early age.
Second, there is unity of opinion. The most taboo thing is today's standard, tomorrow's standard, so it is difficult to achieve good results. Most commonly, Dad and Mom disagree.
The requirements for children, no matter when, must be consistent, otherwise it is easy for children to exploit loopholes and play small cleverness to escape punishment.
Again, it is not to repeat the number of children.
Don't recount all the past mistakes because of the child's mistakes this time, which will not only make the child resentful, but also feel that as long as they make mistakes, they will never be able to get rid of it.
Moreover, repeated preaching and teaching constantly give children the same stimuli, so that children develop "psychological inertia" and lose their reverence for their parents. Eventually, when the same stimulus occurs again, the educational effect decreases or even disappears.
And not labeling children.
If a child makes a mistake, it can help him analyze the causes and consequences of making a mistake, and never give the child a conclusion or label. Because it is easy for children to give up on themselves, they have the idea that I am such a person, and I can't do anything bad.
For example, "crying ghost" and "small bag", because the impact of your casual words in the child's young mind is very large, and it is not only difficult to achieve the expected effect by labeling the child negatively, but also allows the child to accept their own shortcomings psychologically and break the jar.
Secondly, in the face of children who like to play tricks and spoil, parents must strictly abide by their bottom line.
Even if the child begged, he could not agree, and the bucket had a precedent of cancellation, and it was difficult to ensure the effectiveness of the implementation in the future.
Finally, punishing a child for making a mistake as soon as possible is the best way to make a child remember the consequences.
In the final analysis, punishment is not beating and scolding, and effective punishment is both a gentle education and a lesson that is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people.
Punishment is not the goal, no matter what the reason, before punishing the child, you should first learn to calm down and deal with the mood. Doing anything without rational thinking will lead to extremes. The punishment on the head of the anger is just venting. Therefore, the punishment should be ruled, not according to the mood.
Whether unintentionally or deliberately, children will inevitably make mistakes in the process of growing up. Punishing children is a science, blindly using tough attitudes and violent punishment methods, can not make children truly aware of the consequences of wrong behavior.
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