"Dear Child" is a family life drama directed by Hu Kun, starring Qin Hao, Ren Suxi, Nie Yuan, Xie Keyin, and Huang Miyi.
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Xiao Lu and Fang Yinuo were originally a loving couple, and with the advent of their daughter "Hehe", the hidden contradictions were gradually excavated.
When the two men walked step by step to divorce, the details of the past containing "problems" were displayed one by one in Fang Yinuo's mind, making people have an illusion that the ending was already doomed.
However, is it really already doomed?
Concept: Taking children is a woman's duty, do not want to admit it?
As bystanders, when we use God's vision to look down on these new parents, it is not difficult to find that in fact, everyone has everyone's position and difficulty, and each person has their own own grievances and helplessness.
Stills from "Dear Little Kids"
Before the arrival of the child, new mothers often think that pregnancy is the hardest, morning sickness, pregnancy test, walking when pregnant with Liujia, etc., thinking that it is easy to wait for "unloading", who knows that is the beginning of the real "trouble".
In the hearts of new fathers, there is often a concept that "taking children" is the nature of women, whether it is a mother, a mother-in-law, or a nanny, it is enough to have them.
Under the "command" of this concept, men often make themselves a "bystander" on the grounds of busy work, perhaps these are more like the "common points" of men, although this makes new mothers very dissatisfied, but it is difficult to be changed.
In reality, the same is true, the people who are busy around the newborn are not mothers, mothers-in-law, mothers-in-law, nannies? And nannies are all women, right? This phenomenon can completely make people establish a concept in their hearts: taking children is a woman's duty!
The reason for this idea is only one point, because the child is born from the woman's belly, so the person who is active around the mother must be a woman, and it is almost impossible to change this, unless the child is "made" from a cold machine, so that it is possible to overthrow the existing laws.
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Therefore, in everyone's post-view message, so many people will say that they have similar experiences and almost the same husband, in fact, this is not accidental, but a law and inevitability.
The behavior of the newborn father directly affects the mood of the mother, fragile and sensitive
With the advent of the newborn, the emotions of the maternal Fang Yinuo have become the most sensitive area, and Xiao Lu, as the father of the newborn, failed to appear next to his wife at a critical time, becoming the fuse of the couple's poor feelings.
Xiao Lu, as a husband, really should not only put work first, he did not grasp the key points that should appear next to his wife, such as when Fang Yinuo was about to give birth, he drank and fell asleep at home.
For example, in order to send a placenta to his mother, the wife who has given birth to a child is left aside, for example, the daughter cannot hear the phone when she has a fever, etc., it is these details that make the wife who is already in a sensitive period dissatisfied, disappointed and distrustful.
Stills from "Dear Little Kids"
Xiao Lu was often caught between the relatives of both sides, and he could only coax the side and the thin mud, but his thin mud was not very smart, so that both sides did not buy his account.
There is no doubt that Xiao Lu, as a husband, has something he did inappropriately, and his evasion is inseparable from Fang Yinuo's "neuroticism", and Fang Yinuo's sensitivity is gradually aggravated because of Fang's mother's "adding fuel to the fire", and the dispute between the relatives of the two sides makes Xiao Lu sandwiched in the middle and miserable.
The contradiction between Xiao Lu and Fang Yinuo began to gradually increase under the nourishment of "family triviality", so when the third party "Zhu Zhu" appeared, Fang Yinuo could not listen to any explanation from her husband, coupled with the help of Fang's mother, the relationship between the two entered a desperate situation.
So, when a newborn appears, what can be done to avoid conflicts between husband and wife?
In dealing with newborns, as a mother, we must maintain a normal heart
If we investigate the causes of the contradictions between husband and wife because of the birth of newborns, it is not difficult to find that the root of everything comes from the problem of how to treat newborns.
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"Newborns" represent a new life, it is true that young people need the care and care of their parents, but if they care too much about their existence, they will make people walk into too anxious and uneasy.
In fact, as long as you pay attention to observation, you will find that the "newborn" in reality will experience the link of illness and wrestling, there is no child in the world who will not get sick and wrestle, as long as you come to this world, you will face various situations, no matter how careful the adults are, it is difficult to avoid.
Therefore, only by recognizing this can we maintain a normal mentality when the child is sick or wrestling, go to the hospital when there is a disease, help up when it falls, and everyone who comes to this world has his own fate, everyone's future is uncertain, and everyone is just an ordinary person who will make mistakes, there is no need to rise to the principle of "black and white" because of doing a wrong thing.
Just like Fang Yinuo in the play, he is too sensitive to "Hehe", whether he is hungry or peeing, he will make a fuss at every turn, and make the chickens and dogs silent at first, so that the people around him are nervous and uneasy.
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Of course, the new mother will inevitably panic because of lack of experience, and will be surprised when things happen, if you let yourself have a mental preparation in advance, have a clear understanding, it will definitely be much better, at least in your own impulsive time, you can think back, review yourself, let your emotions have some convergence and self-control.
As a maternal Fang Yinuo, as long as he is excited or flustered, he will let the people around him mess up together, and the spiritual string will also be tight, and Xiao Lu will feel that he has no energy to deal with it because he is too busy at work, so he will naturally deliberately delay the time to go home to avoid, although his behavior is inappropriate, but it can also make people understand and empathize.
As a mother of a newborn, it is impossible to escape the crying of the newborn every day, which will result in grievances and resentment, if you understand the law mentioned before, you should make yourself calm, because this is the destiny of heaven, this is the inevitable and law of becoming a woman, can not change to face bravely.
The Buddha said: Live awake in this world, but do not cling to anything.
My understanding is that this "thing" refers to things and also refers to people, "awakening" is to recognize the laws of things, and "non-attachment" means not to let yourself ignore the laws, but to live paranoidly according to what you think is "right and wrong".
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As a "newborn" father, try to appear at the most critical moment of his wife, and ask for forgiveness for future mistakes
Xiao Lu in the play, obviously has several behaviors that are too inappropriate, although it is a fact that he is busy at work, but it is not uncontrollable.
When Fang Yinuo was already admitted to the hospital to give birth, she chose to understand her husband's work and let him deal with work matters first, but it was her sentence "Go, something will call you again", exposing Xiao Lu's inappropriate behavior.
Xiao Lu chose to return home after dealing with things, treating himself with drinking beer and watching TV, leaving his wife alone in the hospital waiting for childbirth, perhaps he thought that everything would be fine with his mother-in-law, but he did not know that whether it was a mother or a mother-in-law, they could help with specific things, but they could not soothe the heart of their lover.
He ignored an important feeling of his wife: at this time, the wife was very afraid in her heart, although she said "go, it's okay", but in fact, she very much hoped that her husband could accompany him, one was from the fear of the unknown and wanted the closest person to accompany him, and the other was to hope that her husband would witness the moment when his child was born.
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Therefore, when Xiao Lu turned to leave, Fang Yinuo's heart was disappointed, this is not the mood that Fang Yinuo will produce, it should be the truest mood of every woman who is going to be a mother, Xiao Lu's turn increases the most important probability of not being forgiven later.
Later Xiao Lu sent a placenta to his mother and deliberately evaded the trivial problems of bringing up a child, which was also based on Xiao Lu's "confusion" and confusion.
For the trouble caused by giving birth to a child, Although Xiao Lu's evasive behavior can be understood, it will not be respected, and Fang Yinuo, as a mother, cannot put aside "Hehe", whether subjectively or objectively,
As a husband, Xiao Lu has a natural "advantage" to avoid the trouble and triviality caused by taking children, and men can appropriately "use" this convenience when they are most tired, but they cannot use it excessively, and excessive use becomes not wanting to be responsible.
It is Xiao Lu's "excessive use" that makes him step into the "side way" step by step, and in the subtle way, he deviates from the sense of boundary with the customer "Zhu Zhu", so that "Zhu Zhu", who has no love experience, locks on Xiao Lu.
Stills from "Dear Little Kids"
Xiao Lu and Fang Yinuo went to the point of divorce, both sides have more or less problems, and the decisive factor is that both parties lack self-awareness and are unwilling to forgive each other.