Text/Wei Chen
As the saying goes, "Those who love to come out love to return, and those who are blessed are blessed." ”
But in real life, this is not the case.
Even if some people give love, not only fail to harvest the love of life, but also may be resented. This group of people is usually parents.
Know that inappropriate care brings not warmth to children, but harm.
Although parents always want to do their best to make their children live well.
But everyone has an independent consciousness and cognition, and after the children grow up, if the parents still do not know how to quit, it will bring obstacles to the lives of the adult children.
Especially after people reach old age, whether it is personal cognition or physical fitness, there will be large or small problems in all aspects.
If you can't recognize yourself and blindly "help" your children, you will only add to the chaos in the end.
At any time, you can't lose your degree when you do things. No matter how close the relationship between each other is, grasping the scale is respect for each other.
In life, many parents regard their children as personal private property, not only "protecting" them in all aspects, but also trying to move them at will.
Parents who always want to control their children's lives are terrible.
Many parents mistakenly believe that their children are a part of themselves, and that their children are their ideal opportunity to make themselves come back again, so they desperately try to control the trajectory of their children's lives.
Controlling parents are disciplined by their children, from their career preferences to married life.
Do what you think is good for your children, completely disregarding the feelings of the person concerned.
The more such parents care for their children, the more miserable their lives become.
In their later years, if they want to be respected by their children, they must first respect them.
Don't control your children's lives under the banner of "I'm all for your own good".
If you look closely, you will find that in real life, those who always love to "worry" about the elderly, not only can not help their children, but also always create various contradictions for the children's small families.
For example, the nosy in-laws, although the piles of things are hurting their sons, but the ends of each case make it difficult for the son to do, and even the final wife is separated.
For example, parents who want to save money for their children, when they hear that investment can make money, they are deceived by their children, not only being cheated out of their belongings but also angry with their bodies. In the end, it is still his own children who are in the pocket.
In old age, people should care for their children in an appropriate way. The following 3 ways are necessary to carefully understand.
Not in charge
Wise parents do not take charge of their adult children.
Even excellent parents have begun to cultivate their children's sense of independence and autonomy from the time when their children are not yet adults.
A person, if you want to go through this life, the most important thing is not to have a clear direction from the beginning, but to be able to independently choose the next path in various changes.
Being in charge is a proof of one's ability, no one is born to be a leader, and all leaders are formed by the accumulation of experience.
If parents are slow to let go, their children will not have the opportunity to become good leaders.
Parents who genuinely care about their children will not be in charge of their children's families. Even if it is sometimes impossible to understand some of the decisions of the child, it will be accepted with sufficient trust.
Not being in charge of your children is an excellent parent.
No attempt is made to share
There are responsibilities and pressures in everyone in life. Parents are justified in their children's heartache, but they cannot try to make their children not bear the responsibilities and pressures they should bear because of their heartache.
Sometimes some of the parents' behaviors seem to be love, but they are actually hurt.
Xiao Zhou's mother was particularly distressed about Xiao Zhou, so after his marriage, she chased after her son's house to become a "nanny", and no matter what her daughter-in-law instructed her son to do, she had to take it upon herself.
As a result, the son is very lazy, the daughter-in-law is dissatisfied with her husband, and the good marriage does not take long, because of family trivia.
Fortunately, Xiao Zhou's mother understood early, and after she left the small family, although her son had to share the housework, their lives returned to normal.
In old age, people should not be a short-sighted elder, and carry it clearly to ensure the happiness of their children for the rest of their lives.
Don't help save money
As the saying goes: "There is an old family, such as a treasure." ”
Of course, to become a "treasure" in the family, it is not just old.
The old people who can become the "baby" in the family are the old people who do not cause trouble.
In recent years, there have been many news of investment failures for the elderly and cheating on shopping for the elderly. Almost all of the reasons they are deceived are because they want to save money.
People should not think too much in their old age, and when their thinking cannot keep up with the times, they must listen more and talk less, and try to cooperate with their children to accept arrangements.
Stubbornly trying to save money for the child, in the end the money was not saved, and there was a lot of it.
In old age, the best concern for children is not to add to the chaos.
Content source public number: Wei Chen [ID: weichenip] It is very easy to meet the author.
About the Author: Wei Chen, freelance writer, writing mentor. Normally quiet, occasionally humorous.
I hope that through words to bring you spiritual relaxation, may your life be more beautiful after encountering my words.