Author/Child
Parents love their children, and they have far-reaching plans for them.
I believe this sentence, many people are more familiar. It seems that the love of parents is always unconsciously placed by many people to an absolute height, thinking that they are purely selfless. Then some people, in turn, will be influenced by these thoughts and think that this is the way parents should be.
Parents think of their children, although it is common human feeling. But everything is measured, parents should not face their children without personal bottom lines and principles, and children cannot blindly ask for them at this time.
For example, after retirement, no matter how much money you have in your hand, don't help your children in 3 kinds of help, so as not to run out of money.
01. Don't use your own money to infinitely supplement your child's daily life;
As parents, many people have the idea that they are their own children anyway, if they can help, they should try to help.
As a result, many people are in this as far as possible, constantly giving up their own interest value, even if they are squeezed, they do not care at all.
In fact, if parents really do this for their children, do you think that children must be grateful and know the mentality of reciprocation?
Not necessarily.
Everyone in their own life, there are responsibilities that they need to take on, if this responsibility, there are others to help to do the work, when the formation of habits, most people's subconscious mentality is deserved, and after a little bit of bad work, may also lead to dissatisfaction.
The so-called Sheng Mi En Dou Mi Vengeance, this truth is also true even if it is placed in the family relationship.
In real life, I know such an aunt. She is the kind of mother who is particularly worried, eager to arrange everything for her son, the son gets married, the garage is bought by them, the decoration is also their responsibility, even a pot of flowers at home, she personally bought it. The son does not have to care about anything, and after marriage, he can take his wife to live in a new house.
After marriage, her son still did not achieve self-reliance, usually relied on them to get used to, and she did not strictly put forward certain boundaries, so the requirements of her son's family were more and more.
At the beginning, the child's expenses were in charge of her money, and the son's own salary was only enough for the basic life of the family, and even sometimes, even the living expenses were transferred by her. Later, her son often can't make ends meet, mainly because he used to spend a lot of money before. When there is no money, I ask her for money, and sometimes the situation will occur: the son invites someone to dinner outside, and when he checks out, he finds that the money is not enough, call her, let her quickly transfer the money, and turn slowly and lose his temper.
Only then did she realize that her son was spoiled and began to say that she would not give them money and let the little two try on their own.
As a result, not only did they offend their sons, but their daughters-in-law also offended them, because they had always done this before, and suddenly refused to take money, which was in the eyes of their sons, which was a manifestation of their selfishness and belonged to them. Especially her daughter-in-law, she didn't want her daughter to go to her grandparents' house.
This final result can really be said to be thankless.
02. Don't use your own pension money to help your children pay off debts;
People are old, even if you have children, and the child's usual performance is basically filial piety, about the biggest confidence of the individual, or have a certain amount of money in hand.
The money in your hand, when you really encounter things, you can avoid a lot of troubles and contradictions.
Therefore, about their own pension money, we must save well, this money should not be easily moved, especially when the child wants to move your money in various names, it is even more important to be careful, because the children who are really filial and filial, no matter for any reason, are embarrassed to move the parents' lifelong efforts and pension money.
But those who take the initiative to do so show that they are not so filial.
There was an old man in the community, who had originally saved a sum of money when he was retiring, but he could not help his son's flickering, and took this money to pay off his son's debt, thinking that it was a family, and it was the same when he was old. As a result, after the money was returned, the son's attitude towards them began to become impatient, often saying that they were incompetent and did not leave more family foundations for themselves, so now he is so hard.
Hearing a child say this, it is not a chill.
The old man also realized that his son might not be reliable, but the money had been given and could not be returned, fortunately, the old man still had a little retirement salary every month, a few hundred yuan, enough for her daily expenses. But she confessed that she did not dare to get sick, and once she was sick and spent money, her son would definitely not treat her.
Don't overestimate human nature, even in family affection, the evil of human nature can sometimes exceed your imagination.
03. Don't use your own money to help your child make investments;
As the old saying goes, as much power as you can do.
Your child's own life and future development are actually none of your business. If you have the ability to carry or point the way, it is certainly possible. But if you don't have the ability, you don't have to worry about the child and want to seek the future for the child.
To be human, no matter what identity you exist in, it is enough to manage yourself.
As a parent, you especially need to pay attention to this, you can help, but do not use your wealth too much to lay the groundwork for the child's life, so as not to inflate the child's ideas in the relationship with the child, obviously the ability can not keep up, but still can not recognize the reality.
So, don't use your own money to help your child invest. This is your pension money, or take care of your pocket, in case of emergency, lest the money be wasted, but there is no splash. I really have such a situation around me, the child blindly invests, the parents all kinds of support, the result of their own pension money lost, regret the time is too late.
May you keep that in mind.
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