The mother took her 3-year-old daughter Yiyi out to play, and in the community square, Yiyixin met several friends and had a good time with them.
Back at home, Yi Yi took an eraser from her pocket and happily asked her mother if she was pretty.
Her mother didn't care if she was in a hurry to cook, thinking that it was given to her by a new friend.
After a few days, her mother found that Yiyi's pencil case had two more erasers, and she felt that something was wrong, so she planned to ask her daughter.
Before going to bed, my mother said casually, the eraser in your pencil case is so beautiful, did your grandmother buy it for you?
Yi Yi said proudly that the new little sister had a lot of beautiful erasers, and she wanted it very much, so she quietly took a few pieces in the past few days.
The mother was taken aback, but on the surface she was calm and did not reprimand Yiyi's behavior as "stealing".
She smiled and asked Yiyi, if the little sister knew that her eraser had been taken by someone else, she would be unhappy in her heart.
Yi Yi's face changed, and she immediately slipped into the bed and hid.
The next day, her mother solemnly told Yiyi that if she wanted something from someone else, she needed to ask for their consent. If others promise to give, they can ask for it. You can't force others to give, and you can't take advantage of others not paying attention and quietly taking it away, which is very impolite.
Yi Yi nodded as if he understood.
1 and 3-year-old children take other people's things, not "steal"
The mother's approach is very good, she did not scold and educate the child at the first time, and did not define the child's behavior as "stealing".
You know, Yiyi is only 3 years old, although he has taken other people's things several times, but he is not called "stealing" in the true sense.
Psychology believes that this behavior of 3-year-old children, more appropriate to use "possession" to describe, is a normal psychological phenomenon.
At this age, they do not know that objects have ownership rights, and they are not very clear about the concepts of "you", "me" and "him". They think that as long as I like it, it's mine, and I can take it.
Even if some children vaguely know that their behavior is wrong, but because of their young age, they cannot restrain their behavior, and when they see what they like, they still want to take it for themselves.
However, as children age, this "self-centered" ideation and possessiveness of children will gradually diminish and disappear.
In addition, some children take other people's things, perhaps to attract the attention of others, or deliberately vent their dissatisfaction. This also needs to be brought to the attention of parents.
2, when the child takes something that does not belong to him, how to do it
Many parents worry that if a child steals something when he is a child, when he grows up, will he become more aggressive and steal more valuable items?
It is true that parents cannot easily label their children as "stealing", but they cannot let it go and let it go.
How to do it specifically, the following suggestions parents can refer to it:
First, don't question your child
When parents find that their children have new toys or new stationery, do not take it for granted that no one in the family buys for their children, then he must have taken someone else's.
Driven by this kind of thinking, it is easy for parents to impulsively call their children over and question them. In the face of parental questioning, children are likely to have a psychological burden, they will lie, or directly do not admit it, and quarrel with their parents.
Parents are best to calm down, talk to their children with a peaceful attitude, and encourage their children to explain things clearly so that they can solve the problem.
Second, tell your child not to move other people's things at will
Like the above Yiyi's mother's approach is very good, she told Yiyi that the items have ownership, after the consent of the owner can play, if you want, you must ask the owner's consent.
If the child understands this, the parent can try to empathize with him. For example, you can ask the child, if his beloved car is quietly taken away by the child, is he very sad?
In this way, the child will feel empathy and understand that you can't take other people's things casually.
Third, avoid labeling your child as "stealing."
After parents find that their children have "stolen" other people's things, they should not label their children as "stealing", let alone severely discipline their children and punish them.
For example, some parents will punish their children, thinking that this will make their children accept the lesson and never dare to "steal" other people's things again.
Although the child is small, his self-esteem is very strong. Once children are labeled "stealing," they will imply that they are "thieves" and that it is normal to take someone else's things.
It can backfire.
Fourth, encourage children to return other people's belongings
When the child understands that the item has the right to belong, it cannot be taken casually, and if he accidentally "steals" other people's things, he must return it in time.
If parents teach their children the steps ahead, don't forget to teach their children this last step, which is to return someone else's things.
Of course, when returning things, the child must be voluntary, so that the purpose can be achieved.
In addition, parents should also give their children more love, so that children feel that they are being noticed by their parents, so that he will not deliberately "steal" things in order to vent or to attract the attention of parents.
3. Write at the end
Everything in a child's growth, no matter how big or small, is worthy of parents' careful thinking and treatment.
And the matter of "stealing" can be big or small, depending on how the parents deal with it.
If parents handle it properly, not only can the child correctly recognize that his behavior is inappropriate, but also try to restrain himself.
On the contrary, if parents do not handle it properly, it will not only hurt the child's self-esteem, label the child as "stealing", but also have a negative impact on the child.
I hope that parents can actively respond and skillfully resolve. On the road to parenting, be a qualified parent and give your children the most sincere care.