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The epidemic has repeatedly closed many schools, and children have to stay at home to take online classes. In less than a week, a considerable number of parents were "shouting" in the group: hoping to resume classes quickly.
Parents reported that the children are usually not bothered when they are in school, and now they are staying at home and watching for a long time.
Common annoyances are: children's learning attitude is not serious, homework is not active; do not get up on time, sleep; greedy play... There are often unpleasant quarrels between parents and children.
Parents have said: "Hurry up and send it to school, let the teacher take care of it!" ”
The growth of a child is inseparable from the joint cultivation of the family and the school. It is undeniable that in school, the learning atmosphere is relatively strong, and the learning time is regular, which is helpful for children's learning effect.
However, some of the key elements necessary for the healthy growth of children cannot be expected from schools and teachers, mainly depending on the family, and the parents are the first responsible persons.
Someone has made a figurative analogy: family education is the education of the "root", and school education is the education of the "pole" and the "leaf".
As Minister of Education Chen Baosheng said:
"The family is the first school in life, parents are the first teachers of children, and family education is the first link of Lide Tree."
Family education is not in place, which will not only offset the effect of school education, but also cause a certain negative impact on children's development. ”
In particular, the following four aspects require the efforts of families:
01
Develop good habits in your child
We all know the importance of cultivating children's good habits, and the positive feedback brought by good habits is an important basis for children to form self-discipline.
Good habits will also shape the child's character and thinking, guide the child's actions, and benefit the child for a lifetime.
From the perspective of parents, helping children develop good habits will improve children's consciousness and initiative, and education will be more efficient and worry-free.
Once watched a video, the reporter entered a high school to interview the teacher, asked: What are the common characteristics of children with good grades in the class?
Several teachers unanimously replied: It is self-discipline.
The reporter also asked: How should this feature be cultivated?
Teachers said: Mainly look at family education.
Japanese educator Yukichi Fukuzawa said:
"The family is the school of habits, and the parents are the teachers of habits."
To cultivate children's good habits, the most critical period is 0-6 years old, followed by the primary school stage. Parents are the people who spend the most time with their children, and they have a better chance to observe the changes of their children bit by bit and give appropriate guidance.
In school, a teacher has to face the whole class of children, in addition to the daily teaching, it is difficult to have enough time and energy to understand and guide each child.
Therefore, to cultivate good habits in children, the family should take the greatest responsibility.
From the child's 1 year old or so, parents should consciously cultivate their children's good living habits: love to be clean and hygienic, go to bed early and get up early, work and rest regularly, put items back in place when they are finished, and have rules for eating at the table.
When the child is about 2 years old, parents can tell more stories, read picture books, and read together with their children; as they grow, they gradually transition to independent reading, and cultivate their children's reading habits from an early age.
In primary school, parents should focus on cultivating their children's learning habits: go home every day to do homework before playing; complete homework within the specified time, without dragging and grinding; review after class, pre-class preparation; prepare a special wrong question book to sort out wrong questions...
Regarding the specific habit cultivation methods, the public account has been explained in detail in many previous articles, and will not be repeated here. (Click on the blue word below to view related articles)
02
Cultivate children's ability to be independent
A kindergarten teacher once mentioned to me that the small class children they recruit every year will have several low self-care ability: eating to be fed, going to the toilet needs help, dressing and wearing shoes is even more difficult, and there is no way to carry out kindergarten activities.
Such children usually have to be brought back by parents to teach for a week, and can be more independent and then brought.
The ability to be independent is crucial to the growth and development of children, including not only independence in life and learning, but also independence in thinking.
The famous Italian educator Montessori said:
"Education must first guide children to take the road of independence, which is a key issue in our education."
Some parents raise their children too spoiled, protected, do everything to help their children do, and do not teach their children basic life skills, resulting in poor self-care ability, lack of independence, and dependence on parents for everything.
This kind of dependence psychology will also migrate to the child's learning, and even internalize into his thinking mode, do not like to use his brain to think, shrink back when encountering problems, and easily become lazy and slack.
The child's lack of experience in doing things independently will also greatly dampen his self-confidence, and he often feels that he cannot do anything, and his personality is timid and cowardly.
These problems are incapable of being solved by schools, and family education needs to choose a correct direction from the beginning.
Children from about the age of 2, self-awareness budding, began to distinguish between "me" and others, at this time, there is a need for independence, everything thinks of themselves, do not like others to help.
As children grow up, they become more and more eager to be independent, want to prove their abilities, want to be respected by their parents, and have their own personal space.
Parents should respect the child's growth needs, and as the child grows, gradually let go, and give the child a full opportunity to do things independently.
From life to learning, slowly give autonomy to the child, help him learn to make correct choices and make decisions, and let him gradually learn self-management and self-responsibility.
Parents only need to demonstrate to the child when he will not, or give him some tips and guidance, to avoid excessive interference and arrangement.
Independent children, usually full of curiosity and exploration, the courage to try and challenge, will better adapt to society in the future and become an excellent person.
03
Develop your child's self-confidence
Self-confidence is the cornerstone of a child's future success.
British psychologist Hadfield said:
"In the case of self-confidence, people can exert their potential to more than 500%, while people who do not have self-confidence and inferiority can only exert 30% of their abilities."
A confident person is more capable of mobilizing and controlling his own behavior and achieving his life goals; while people who lack self-confidence often have some behaviors such as withdrawal and avoidance, and psychological internal friction is also more serious.
In school, children gain friendship and love between classmates, the affirmation of teachers, and the progress of grades, which will enhance self-confidence, but these can only be used as a supplement.
The root of a child's self-confidence comes from the family, from the love and attention given to him by his parents, and in addition, it is also affected by the parenting style of the parents.
If the child does not feel full love and security in the family from an early age, no matter how great the external achievements are in the future, the heart will still be full of inferiority and low self-worth.
If the child is in the family, often denied, hit, and restricted by his parents, it will also greatly damage his self-confidence and it is difficult to rebuild.
Therefore, in the process of raising children, parents should pay attention to protecting children's self-confidence and create conditions to enhance children's self-confidence.
First of all, it is necessary to provide a warm and harmonious family environment for children, less quarrels in front of children, vent negative emotions, and give children more love and care.
Secondly, do not give the child a negative evaluation, encourage, appreciate, and trust the child, allow him to constantly try and challenge, and improve his ability in practice.
04
Cultivate children's good upbringing and conduct
A person's upbringing and conduct is the business card of his walking.
People with good education and good character can always win the respect and welcome of others, and their interaction with them is like a spring breeze. Such people will often get more opportunities in the development of life and go further.
Writer Liang Xiaosheng once said:
"Upbringing is not how many books a person has read, but the cultivation and foundation rooted in the heart, the self-consciousness without reminding, the freedom premised on restraint, and the kindness of thinking about others."
The family is the first environment for children to grow up, but also the most important growth environment, in the subtle, the way children talk and do things, are hidden in the shadow of their parents.
The child's upbringing and conduct mainly depend on the role of parental role models and daily guidance, and the knowledge learned in school and the interaction between peers can only play an auxiliary role.
In addition to paying attention to their children's learning, parents should also pay attention to the cultivation of children's good upbringing and conduct, starting from themselves, and first of all, they should set a good example for their children.
In addition, in the process of children's growth, there should be no less rules, so that children know how to restrain their words and deeds and establish correct values.
In terms of parenting: there are rules for eating at the table; politeness in treating people and objects; not noisy in public places; loving environmental hygiene; speaking to consider the feelings of others, not mocking and slandering others...
In terms of conduct: honest and trustworthy, helpful, sincere, upright, know how to introspect...
Educating children also has to pay and reap the rewards. I hope that every parent can realize the importance of family education and start from the above four aspects to cultivate children with healthy hearts and excellent happiness.
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