I saw such a story that made me feel the urge to write an article.
A 10-year-old boy ran away from home, leaving a note that read: Mom, I ran away from home, I went to a place you will never find. Mother saw this note frightened, hurry to the police, fortunately, the child was found by the police in time by the river, a question to know, the reason why the child ran away from home is that the little boy took the English test 90 points, after returning home from school, the mother is not satisfied with the results, has been blaming him, the child was originally depressed because of the test, and was nagged by the mother so he ran away from home, and what is more sighing is that the first sentence that the child who was found saw his mother said was: Mom, don't blame me. At this time, the child is still afraid that his mother will blame him for not doing well in the exam, so it can be seen that such blame did not happen to him once or twice.
Many parents will feel puzzled when they see this, isn't it just a few words of nagging? As for running away from home? In fact, it's not just hitting that hurts children. Many nagging words are just casual words in the eyes of adults, but they do not know that many knives have been inserted in the hearts of children, and the camels that have been crushed are never the last straw. It's every straw, there's a survey on the web, the question is when do you dislike your parents the most? The loudest voice is actually when the parents are nagging.
Seeing here many parents may feel sad and feel that my nagging is also for the good of their children, but we must accept that this is the reality that ineffective communication will not solve the problem. On the contrary, it will intensify the contradiction, and many people ask: How to do it right? I have three pieces of advice for nagging parents.
First, we need to restrain our anxiety ourselves. Emotions are contagious, and parental anxiety can also directly affect children. Each child has its own growth rules and rhythms, and when parents interfere too much in their children's actions, they will only hinder their children's growth.
Secondly, we need to let children exert their autonomy, in the process of children's growth, as parents, do not rush to the front, eager to help children clear obstacles, but should give children more trust, try to let children make their own decisions. For example, let the child decide the time to write homework, and ask for more advice on family affairs, so that the child understands that he is also a member of the family, and his opinions and opinions will be respected.
The third is to magnify the advantages of the child, this is also crucial, parents must learn to use a magnifying glass to see the advantages of the child, and give the child positive feedback, there is no perfect child, only harsh parents who are not perfect, in fact, each child has its own shining point, we do not look at the things that the child has not done, but to encourage the child to do more things within his ability, know how to appreciate the advantages of the child. Recognize his efforts and progress.
As parents, we all sincerely hope that our children will become better, and the starting point of all our actions is loving care, but if such care accidentally crosses the line, it will become naked harm, and the greatest love we give to children is not to deprive them of the opportunity to grow up in the name of nagging. Gentle and firm guidance, patient and non-harsh communication are all compulsory courses for our parents. We are also playing the role of parents for the first time, and all of us need to continue to learn, because raising children is our life's work.
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