What is Behavior Management?
Behavior management refers to guiding a child's behavior towards an appropriate way of behaving.
A positive and constructive approach is the best way to guide your child's behavior. This means paying attention when your child is doing well, rather than punishing your child when they do something you don't like.
Children can perform in challenging ways at different stages and in specific situations. Therefore, trying to understand your child's behavior is an important step in encouraging positive behavior. When you understand the reasons behind your child's behavior, you can choose a strategy that closely matches the behavior.
If you use positive behavior management strategies while nurturing strong family relationships, you can do a great job of helping your child learn appropriate behaviors.
The first step in behavior management: understanding
If you can understand why your child behaves in a particular way, you can figure out the best way to respond. Therefore, before you choose a behavior management strategy, it is a good idea to check a few things.
First, consider your child's development and how it relates to challenging behaviors. For example, tantrums are common in toddlers and preschoolers because children at this age have a lot of affection and don't have enough language to express them.
As children grow, they learn more about behavior. With your help, they will also begin to develop skills in regulating emotions and behaviors.
In addition to your child's developmental stages, it is also important to consider other situations in your child. For example:
Is your child in good health and getting enough sleep? Sometimes, challenging behaviors are the first sign that a child is unwell or tired. If you are unsure, take your child to see a GP or child and family health nurse for a check-up.
Are there any changes in your family life that could affect your child's behavior? Children often struggle to adapt to the birth of a newborn baby, the transition to school, or changes in the family.
Behavior Management: Helping children learn new skills
When children can do what they want to do or need to do, they are more likely to collaborate. They are also less likely to get frustrated and act in challenging ways. This means that helping children learn new skills can be an important part of managing behavior.
As children learn new skills, they also build independence, self-confidence and self-esteem. Therefore, helping children learn new skills is also an important part of supporting overall development.
Case in point: If your child doesn't know how to set the table, they may refuse to do it – because they won't do it. However, if you show your child how to set up the table, they are more likely to do so. They will also gain a sense of accomplishment and will be happy with helping you prepare your family meal.
There are 3 key ways to help children learn everything from basic self-care to more complex social skills:
Build a model
Give instructions
Decompose tasks
Remember that skills take time to develop and practice is important. However, if you have any concerns about your child's behaviour, development, or ability to learn new skills, consult your GP or your child and home health nurse.
01
Build a model
By observing you, your child will learn what to do and how to do it. When this happens, you're "modeling."
Modeling is often the most effective way to help children learn new skills. For example, you are more likely to show rather than tell your child how to make a bed, sweep the floor, or throw a ball.
Modeling can improve social skills. Prompting your child with phrases such as "thank you, mommy" or "please add more, dad" is an example.
You can also use modeling to demonstrate your child's skills and behaviors involving nonverbal communication, such as body language and intonation. For example, you can show how to turn to face people while you're talking to them, or look them in the eye and smile while thanking them.
Children also learn by observing other children. For example, your child may try new things with other children in preschool, even though they may not do so with you at home.
Here are a few suggestions for how to make modeling work better:
Get your child's attention and make sure your child is watching you.
Slowly complete the steps of the skill so that your child can clearly see what you are doing.
Point out the important parts of what you're doing – for example, "See how I do...". If you're simulating social skills like greeting guests, you might want to do this later.
Once they see you doing this, they give your child plenty of opportunities to practice the skill — for example, "Okay, now you can get started."
02
Give instructions
You can help your child learn how to do something by explaining what to do or how to do it.
How to give good instructions:
Give instructions only if they come to your child's attention.
Use your child's name and encourage your child to look at you as you speak.
Lower to the child's physical level to speak.
Eliminate any background distractions, such as a TV.
Use a language that your child can understand. Make your sentences short and simple.
Use clear, calming sound.
Use gestures to emphasize what you want your child to pay attention to.
As your child better remembers how to complete a skill or task, tap into your knowledge and reminders.
A picture showing your child what to do can help them understand the instructions. When your child is ready to complete the instructions independently, they can check the pictures. This can also help children who have difficulty understanding words.
03
Decompose tasks
Some skills or tasks are complex or involve a series of actions. You can break down these skills or tasks into smaller steps. The idea is to help children learn the steps that make up a skill or task one at a time.
How to do step-by-step instructions
If you can, start with the simplest steps.
Show your child the step and then have them try it.
Give your child more help to complete the remaining tasks, or do it for them.
Give your child the opportunity to practice this step.
When your child can reliably complete the step without your help, ask them for the next step, and so on.
Keep going until your child can complete all the skills or tasks on their own.
Step-by-step guide example
Here's how you can break down your dressing tasks:
Take your clothes out.
Put on your underwear.
Put on your socks.
Put on a shirt.
Put on your pants.
Put on a pullover.
You can also break down each of these steps into multiple parts. This can help if the task is complex or your child has learning difficulties. For example, "put on a jumper" can be broken down like this:
Face the jumpers in the right way.
Pull the pullover over your head.
Pass one arm through.
Put your other arm through it.
Pull the jumper down.
You can help your child learn by doing the following
Reverse Practice - Help your child complete all the steps up to the last step, then teach the last step, then teach the last step, and so on.
Reverse practice has some advantages. Your child is less likely to be frustrated because learning the last step is easier and faster. Also, as soon as your child completes the step, the task is complete. Often, the most valuable thing about a job or task is to get it done!
In the previous example, you can start with a pullover to teach your child to dress. You'll help your child get dressed until the last step – the pullover.
You can help your child put the pullover on their head and then put their arm in it – and then you can have your child pull the pullover down on their own. Once your child can do this, you may encourage your child to cross the arm himself and then pull the jumper down. This will continue until your child can complete each step so they can complete the entire task on their own.