On the way to becoming a good parent, perhaps you understand the impact of the original family on a child, the child is like a blank piece of paper, constantly copying our "doing".
Therefore, the role of parents is crucial, and for a child who does not understand the world, parents are his whole world and his first door to a larger world.
Someone once said: "The essence of education is that one tree shakes another tree, and one soul awakens another soul and influences life with life." ”
There are thousands of bad educations, but what does a really good education look like?
Maybe the movie "Boyhood" can give you some inspiration.
Filmed over a period of 12 years, the film chronicles a boy's upbringing from the age of 6 to 18, a true testament to the impact of the parents' lifestyle, communication style, and education style on their children.
So, what are some of the good educational concepts in the movie that are worth learning from parents?
01
Want your child to "love to talk"
Please stand on an equal footing with him first
At the beginning of the film, the boy's parents divorced, and the Mason siblings live with their mother. Then the mother, Olivia, embarked on a moving journey with her two children.
Like all divorced families, the parents must have been arguing with each other in the early stages. But the 6- and 7-year-old siblings didn't complain too much about their parents' separation.
Some parents may wonder, does divorce have no effect on their children?
It turns out that not only is there an effect, but the improper separation can affect a child's life.
In the movie, parents have always regarded their children as adults who can think independently and equal family members, and do not pretend to be harmonious, but let the children face reality and tell them that even if they love each other, it does not mean that they can get along well.
In fact, it is not so difficult to speak. Whatever we do, children are not victims of marriage.
In the movie, Mason's biological father was a lazy and jobless guy when he was young, but in the course of 12 years of growth, he gradually grew into a mature and responsible man.
Although he has not lived with his children, he has always acted as a spiritual mentor, telling children the truth of life, talking to each other, and also giving children popular contraceptive knowledge, and when Mason encounters life "problems" - lost love, fathers will also share experiences to enlighten children.
In Chinese families, fathers are often serious and restrained, always communicating with their children in a commanding tone, and rarely connecting with their children spiritually, which will only make children rebellious and disobedient, and grow up without ideas and opinions.
Parents always want their children to be "outgoing" and "love to talk". But how can children express their thoughts in a growing state that is afraid of saying wrong and cannot communicate on an equal footing?
If you want your child to "love to talk", you must first let him say it, and he is not afraid of saying wrong.
02
You do what you preach
It is the best example of education
In the movie, the mother's several failed marriages are impressive:
At the age of 23, she had two children with Mason's father, but the two broke up due to personality discord, and the mother raised the children alone;
The second husband was a university professor, and later found out that the university professor was drunk and abused, and the mother left with two children, ending the marriage;
The third husband was a veteran, but due to the disharmony with his children, he also ended in failure.
But no matter what marriage, mother Olivia always sided with the child, no matter how unsatisfactory life was, she never gave up trying to live and the pursuit of knowledge.
After ending her third marriage, the mother returned to college while raising her children, and finally earned a master's degree and a position as a university professor.
She mentioned the word "responsibility" three times:
When arguing with her boyfriend, she said, "This is life, I have my responsibilities; I am a parent, and that means responsibility." I am a daughter and a mother of children! ”
When leaving her second husband, she and the children explained: "I am not their legal guardian. Taking them away would be tantamount to kidnapping, and I can't do that. I only have you and my brother. When you are in danger, you are my responsibility. ”
At the dinner table, to Mason and his sister, who had just turned 16, he said, "You are all adults, and you need to take on some responsibilities."
From a good mother to a good teacher, she used her own practice to prove and support the growth of 2 children.
03
Family atmosphere with love
It is a catalyst for children's growth
Watch the whole movie and you will find that the atmosphere in this family is always loving.
There are a lot of interesting things in it, such as:
His father was particularly fond of music, and he was willing to discuss and share the Beatles with Mason, who was still in elementary school, and took Mason to see his friends' band performances;
The United States is on the occasion of the presidential election, under the influence of his father, Mason also supports the black president, and together they secretly remove the billboard supporting another president;
The family gets together to play guitar and sing, Mason also has a guitar in his room, and the walls are also their own graffiti works;
On Mason's birthday and high school graduation, the whole family held a party for him, witnessed the important moments of his life, and sincerely wished the boy growing up.
Don't be what your parents like, just be yourself. This is the biggest wish of Mason's parents.
On his 15th birthday, his father gave Mason a homemade Beatles' "The Black Album" self-selected record.
He said: "On your birthday I want to give you something that money can't buy, only a father can give to his son, like an heirloom." It's the best I can do. ”
What is a good education?
The answer is often simple, and that is love. No matter what kind of child you are, the best way to express love is to rejoice, reward and appreciate.
Whether you are a teacher or a parent, if you want to understand your children better, truly enter your children's hearts, and become a role model for your children, you must love your children with your heart, which is the cure for all problems.
Keep learning and stick to it on your way to becoming a wise parent.