"Hurry up and get up, never get up and be late!"
"Eat quickly, it will be cold if you don't eat it again!"
"Hurry, hurry up, it's time for us to go!"
I believe this is a scene that often appears in many families.
But the heart-wrenching fact is that no matter how you urge, the child is still in slow motion as always, and the child will not get up earlier and move faster because of the urging.
Parental urging not only can not solve the problem, but also brings many bad influences to children.
Urging the child will destroy the child's concentration
In the early morning the child has just woken up from his sleep, perhaps lying in bed recalling the dream he had had last night, or maybe he is flying very high, far away, to save people in need. Parents suddenly said "hurry up" and let the child's imagination fly suddenly stop.
When the child washes, he may be feeling the brushing of the toothbrush on the teeth or tongue, and the phrase "Hurry up and eat" completely disturbs the child's experience.
The urging and nagging of adults will interrupt what the child is doing and destroy the child's concentration.
Think about whether the parents themselves are seriously doing a thing, such as checking the information, sorting out the report, if they are suddenly interrupted by the words of a colleague or boss, the train of thought is interrupted, and they have to start again.
Children do not do things for as long and intensively as adults, and adults are still easy to be interrupted. With the urging and nagging of parents, the damage to children's concentration will be more serious.
Early childhood is a critical time to develop children's concentration. If you can listen attentively to the story of the player when you are a child, sit quietly and play with crafts or drawing for half an hour, after entering the school, it is easier for the child to follow the rhythm of the teacher in the classroom and sit down to complete his homework.
The habitual urging of parents to their children inadvertently destroys the child's thinking and experience, and affects the child's concentration.
The best way to develop your child's concentration is not to urge your child.
Urging the child, putting the child under great stress leads to anxiety
Many parents in the process of urging their children, there will be emotions in the tone, tone of voice improvement, impatience and even anger, "you give me a hurry", "don't hurry up, don't go today!" ”
A small child, listening to the constant urging of his parents, will have a lot of pressure in his heart. If adults are urged by their bosses to submit reports and complete their work every day, they will also feel anxious and nervous, and the pressure is very high.
"Self-driving growth" analysis, if you feel the pressure for a long time, the body will secrete high levels of cortisol, kill the hippocampal cells that store memory, and affect the development of the prefrontal cortex of the brain, so that the child's memory declines, while reducing the child's desire to explore, so that the child is prone to fear and anxiety.
Each child has its own rhythm, and the child's proficiency in completing things is not as good as that of adults, so it is normal for children to do things slowly. Children cannot be asked to keep up with the rhythm of adults, and the child's reference is the child himself.
Parents need to control their emotions and use enough love and patience to give their children loose growth space.
Urge the child to let the child do things superficially without thinking deeply
Children's understanding of the world is a gradual process that requires more time to experience and think.
Many adults are accustomed to things that they don't have to think about at all, and children need time to think, "Why don't I put this doll like this and not fall?" "What if you spell it like this?"
Children are naturally curious, want to try many things, and it takes time to explore to satisfy curiosity.
However, children's exploration and thinking may be directly ignored and denied by adults, which is considered to be procrastination and seriously discourage children's enthusiasm for thinking.
Parents keep urging, children have to follow their parents' requirements, children are tired of coping, and they have no time and patience to think deeply about a thing.
In the long run, the child will complete the homework in the school stage, without thinking about why the problem is done, nor thinking about the relationship between the chapters, even if he has done a lot of problems, the grades are still very poor.
When you grow up, even if no one urges you, you still hope to complete the things at hand as soon as possible, do almost as well, and do not do more in-depth thinking and exploration, it is difficult to make achievements in a field.
Not urging the child, allowing the child to explore and think for himself, will be of great benefit to his life.
So, if the child is slow to do things, how should parents remind and guide it?
Think more from the child's point of view
Understand the objective laws of children's growth, and think and experience from the child's point of view.
Kindergarten children get up and dress very slowly, may be unskilled in dressing, you can give children more time and opportunities to practice dressing; if the child writes homework slowly, it may be that the mastery of knowledge is not enough, afraid of writing mistakes, then parents should analyze with their children to help children clarify the knowledge points, rather than urging blame.
After the child has done a good job, give the child positive feedback in time, "Baby, thank you for getting up quickly today, so that we have enough time to eat breakfast and go out to school", "Thank you for completing your homework as soon as you get home today, we can have more time to arrange other activities".
Believe in children, they will do better and better.
Influence children with actions
"Actions are greater than words", and action is more convincing to children than to rush.
If you want your child to get up early, parents themselves need to get up as soon as possible, arrange their own washing and breakfast, wake up the child in advance with a story player, etc. The child sees that the parents have already gotten up and packed up, and he naturally knows that it is time to get up.
If you want your child to eat breakfast early and go to school, parents will eat quickly and prepare to go out, and the child will immediately understand that they must eat quickly and go to school.
If you want your child to complete homework in time after returning home, parents also need to put down their mobile phones and focus on doing things, such as reading and practicing words.
Parents should first be a planned and organized person, be an example for their children, and lead their children to grow up with practical actions.
Help your child establish a sense of time
Children aged 2-3 have no concept of time, but you can tell them that it is now wake time, lunch time, bedtime, etc., so that children know what time to do, help children establish the concept of time, and also part of the rules with children.
Regular work and rest time, on the one hand, promotes children to do things according to the agreement, on the other hand, children themselves also have a sense of security and control.
When the child is older, he can use a visual timer to help the child understand how long 5 minutes is and how long half an hour is, and guide the child to recognize the time point.
Finally, slowly give the child the autonomy to arrange things and control the progress, and in practice, exercise the child's time concept and overall grasp.
There is a saying that goes, "If a tree grows slowly at the beginning, it must have a strong foundation later." I believe the same is true of human growth. ”
Whenever you feel that your child is procrastinating and wants to urge, think about this sentence and tell yourself, "Child, you can take your time.".
Each child has its own time zone for growth, fast or slow, guarded with love, waiting for the flowers to bloom.
【Transferred from: Sohu Original — Pediatric Grandma Bao 】