When an adult is bullied, they have the capital to resist and know how to solve this kind of problem, but it is different for small children, the only thing they can rely on is their own relatives, so when their children are bullied, the parents' handling methods are different, which is likely to affect the child's life, which reminds me of the story of my sister and little niece Lulu.
Before, my sister often complained to me about Lulu being bullied in kindergarten, and naughty children would pull the butterfly hairpin off Lulu's head, and sometimes grab snacks with her, and even end up pushing people and cutting hair. But when the sister asked Lulu if she had told the teacher about this situation, Lulu said that she did not dare, and the sister would sometimes angrily teach Lulu: "Don't you know how to resist?" But Lulu looked even more frightened under her mother's momentum.
Because she was often bullied, Lulu became very timid, and even began to feel inferior, afraid to talk to strangers, and unwilling to play with other children. My sister also reflected these things to the kindergarten teacher, but after all, the teacher is not a god, and in a large class, the teacher cannot pay attention to Lulu alone all the time.
Helplessly, the sister thought of her father-in-law, he is a retired senior teacher, but usually afraid of the old man is too worried, did not tell him about Lulu, the father-in-law learned of this matter is very distressed for his granddaughter, and told the sister not to worry, he has a way to help Lulu improve the situation.
In this way, Lulu was sent to her grandfather's house for a year, and I did not expect that after returning home, Lulu seemed to have changed a person, and she was much more confident than before, which was something I personally felt.
Once, when I was visiting my sister's house on the weekend, I happened to see Lulu playing on the swing in the playground of the community, when a few little boys came up to me, and they asked Lulu to give up the swing. A few boys surrounded Lulu, the momentum was really terrible, I was going to stop it, but what Lulu did next was really surprising to me!
Seeing the boys who "besieged" them, Lulu was not frightened, nor did she cry, but calmly said: "I played here first, you have to queue up first if you want to play, my mother is next to me, and my grandfather is a retired teacher, you dare to bully me, I will ask them to report to your parents and teachers." ”
After Lulu finished speaking, the little boys seemed to have lost the momentum of the beginning, and all the kung fu of a cigarette ran away. Lulu's bravery made me admire, and I wondered, how could Lulu change so much in just one year? To this end, I deliberately went to consult Lulu's grandfather, he said: we must cultivate the child's "can't afford" traits, and told me three major points.
First, always be a child's umbrella
Grandpa Lulu said: "If the child is bullied, the parents must be the backing of the child, can not hold the mentality of big things and small things, and must let the bully apologize to the child!" ”
Many parents feel that it is a normal fight between children after learning that their children are being bullied, and they will not seriously calculate, and some parents will question their children: "Why doesn't he bully others, but bully you?" Did you go and mess with people? More parents "bitterly" persuade their children to just study hard and not to be like those who bully themselves.
Parents must pay attention! Always pay attention to their children, if the child is bullied, be sure to let the other party apologize in public, let the child understand that parents will always stand behind them to protect them, and build their self-confidence.
Second, empathize with the child and try to comfort the child
When a child is bullied, the first thing parents should do is not to investigate the root cause, but to comfort the child. Like when Lulu was first bullied, her sister was a little extreme, and she did not comfort Lulu, but taught Lulu to resist. As a parent, we must pay attention to the psychological level of the child, after being bullied, their own emotions are already very negative, and do not want to listen to the parents' teachings, sometimes only need a word of comfort, you can soothe the child's inner sadness in time.
Three: Teach children to protect themselves
According to the survey, more than 50% of the hundreds of millions of school students in our country have been directly and indirectly bullied by schools, so parents must not think that campus bullying is far away from their children, and must teach their children how to protect themselves in the face of bullying!
Like Lulu's grandfather often takes her to read the "Children's Anti-Bullying Picture Book", a set of 8 volumes, respectively, for the various bullying situations that children may encounter in school, such as being rumored, ridiculed, nicknamed, etc. The book proposes various solutions to them from the perspective of children through a life-like story.
Children naturally like to read colorful story books, picture books, parents instead of boring to instill anti-bullying knowledge to their children, it is better for children to read stories by themselves to have a sense of substitution and persuasion, children like to see, can see into, is a major feature of this set of "children's anti-bullying picture books".
Grandpa Lulu said that since buying this set of books, he will often play role-playing games with Lulu, and grandpa will play the "bad boy" in the book to bully Lulu, lulu will find a way to fight against grandpa through the methods mentioned in the book, so that lulu will easily remember the essentials in the book, and people will become confident, and when they really encounter these situations in life, they can calmly face it.
If you want your child to become confident and strong, parents and friends in front of the screen must keep in mind the above 3 points, and it is also recommended that you take your children to read the "Children's Anti-Bullying Picture Book" to keep the children away from the haze of bullying!