British psychologists once did a study on the 9 to 35-year-old people tested, found that 14 years old is the most likely to fight, rebellious, bad learning age. This age is a mutation period of children, but also the dangerous stage of puberty, they begin to perceive a wealth of emotions, but the prefrontal cortex of the brain is not mature, so there is no way to have the control of adults, so impulsive, sensitive, willful, fragile, rebellious, poor self-control, then this period is a very test of our parents, really can not be hard, too extreme is likely to lead to tragedy.
I give you three pieces of advice
First, cross the line less, respect more, and truly respect the privacy of children. Many parents have a misunderstanding, thinking that not turning over the child's chat history, not turning over his school bag, even if it is to respect the child's privacy. No, the essence of privacy is that the child thinks that he already has a boundary with you, and has a sense of boundary. Parents should not always be by the side of the child, which can easily make the child feel suffocated and learn to avoid properly.
Second, less criticism, more encouragement. Tagore said that the wise know how to educate, and the ignorant know how to strike. Children at this stage need their parents to help them build self-confidence. The criticism point is good, do not say it vigorously, let them feel that their parents are caring for and helping him, and will never give up on her, so as to weaken their rebellious psychology, promote their transformation, and educate them in a positive and encouraging way.
Third, look less at the score and more at the quality. For children of this age, parents should not always stare at the score, but should find more advantages in their children, friendliness, bravery, presentation, responsibility, and so on. Adolescent children, for their part, are fully capable of understanding these qualities. Parents must encourage and motivate more, which will allow children to bypass the wrong path and move in the right direction of growth
