Interpersonal communication is full of "negotiation" and "conflict", from communicating work content with colleagues to conflicts of interest with others, "negotiation" is indispensable in our lives.
Unfortunately, this is a necessary life skill that few people have taught us. Understanding the negotiations one may face on a daily basis, as well as the psychology behind one's opponents, is a significant advantage.
And most people will find that the most difficult opponent in our lives is the angry person. When most people face angry people, they either cringe or avoid conflict. Or else become angry and start fighting back.
In fact, learning to face an angry opponent can help us solve many problems. How to face angry people. Psychologists give the following advice.
(1) Identify three key reasons for anger in negotiations
a. The other side uses anger as a negotiation tactic
Sometimes people pretend to be angry, which is a very common negotiation tactic. They deliberately use anger to make the other person back off and feel guilty. Observing the other person's verbal and nonverbal cues can help you understand whether anger is real or strategic.
Research shows that people who use anger in negotiations tend to get better negotiating results.
b. The other party treats the negotiation as a win/loss
Most people have become accustomed to seeing negotiations as competitive activities with the goal of winning. Such people are more likely to get angry during negotiations.
But people who see negotiations as winning/losing often miss out on a valuable opportunity to find better solutions for all.
c. Misconceptions
Misunderstandings often lead to angry reactions. Psychological research has shown that humans are terrible at empathy.
2. How to deal with angry people
When dealing with angry people in negotiations, here are some simple rules:
Self-preparation:
A. Be prepared, including anticipating the other person's emotions, and preparing how to respond to angry opponents
Think with empathy and understand the underlying causes behind anger
c. Self-regulation. Stay focused and calm, avoid responding to emotions with emotions, and avoid losing your mind.
d. Maintain courtesy and respect, and use calmness to assimilate each other.
Dealing with others:
Interrupting the other person's emotional progression by asking questions, the question will unconsciously cause others to think and interrupt the other party's anger.
Look for compromises and ask the other person to think about what the new solution would do him.
Invite the person to show their best self, such as saying to an angry person, "I know you're not a person who is prone to emotional loss of control."
D. Positively point out the other person's anger, such as telling him: "It seems that you are very unhappy, what is causing this reaction?" What can we do to get back on track? “）
e. Consider changing places, such as talking over dinner, or going out for a walk together to discuss the matter.
epilogue:
When faced with anger, we need to maintain the necessary mental clarity to maximize the impact on the other person's position through respectful, calm, insightful, and persuasive methods.