Recently, the hit drama "City of Streamers" starring Jing Tian and Xu Weizhou has finalized.
The drama tells the story of Feng Shizhen, with the help of the Seventh Master (played by Jing Chao), entering the Rong family as a tutor to approach the enemy, obtain intelligence, attack the Rong family, solve the mystery of his life, and seek revenge on his relatives.
In the play, Feng Shizhen and rong jia, the son of the enemy, have a love scene.
At first, the male protagonist suspected that Feng Shizhen had ulterior motives to enter his home, and may want to fly up the branches to become his aunt's wife, but gradually he couldn't help but be attracted to her.
In terms of beauty, his fiancée and first love, Ori Hashimoto, are both beautiful and prominent, but he only likes female teachers who are from ordinary backgrounds and are a few years older than himself.
Taking stock of Feng Shizhen's character charm, there are three characteristics that make Rong Jiashang irresistible:
1
No utilitarian care
In addition to his beauty, Feng Shizhen also has a strong knowledge, Western oil painting, poetry and song, English mathematics are all in question, and he is very strict with Rong Jiashang every day.
The more indifferent to fame and fortune, the more Rong Jiashang is moved, after all, with his identity, how many people want to take the initiative to give hugs have no way.
However, Feng Shizhen did not make any other non-divisional moves except for lectures.
Rong Jiashang is naughty and disobedient every day, and she still has to say a few words.
Such a stern teacher, reaching out to take care of him when he was sick.
Rong Jiashang was sent to military school at the age of 12 when his mother died, and he was a very loveless person.
He was sick, his family reacted very coldly, and Feng Shizhen's non-utilitarian concern made up for his lack of emotion.
2
Support his dreams
Boys like to identify with their own people, and if they meet someone who is willing to accept themselves, they will instinctively open the conversation box.
Once, Feng Shizhen went out to find a supper to eat, and the two of them chatted for a while.
Rong Jia said that his career in military school and his dream later was to become a pilot.
Feng Shizhen expressed his support, which made Rong Jiashang very moved, because most people felt that he should inherit the family business, and the girl in front of him gave him the feeling of being a confidant.
Knowing the reason why Rong Jiashang deliberately pretended not to be able to do the questions and wrote the papers wrong before, Feng Shizhen encouraged him to work hard to enter the ideal university and plan the future road.
These bystanders had never mentioned it to Rong Jia, and no one had really considered it for him, but Feng Shizhen had done it.
3
Mystery: Like an unfinished book
In Rong Jiashang's eyes, Feng Shizhen had a sense of mystery.
At first, I didn't expect her to be a few years older than herself, but she knew so much, and she didn't seem to be at all moved by fame and fortune.
He looked bad and reasonable, blocked his gun, and resigned quickly after teaching.
Every time he thought he knew what the girl was thinking, he overturned his own speculation the next day.
Later, even if he knew that she might be a spy who had been arranged, he couldn't bear to poke it, because Se-jin had never harmed him, but had always protected him in his own way.
At that time, Rong Jiashang was almost shot when he was watching the ammunition, and Feng Shizhen silently saved him without saying anything.
It wasn't until Jia Shang found that the button picked up on the ground at that time was very similar to the button of Feng Shizhen's coat that he learned the truth and was moved.
Feng Shizhen is like an unfinished book, Rong Jiashang is eager to understand and approach, unconsciously unable to let go, just want to take care of her and protect her.
Some girls say that they also meet the above conditions, why can't they attract boys?
Is it that boys only look at their faces when they find an object?
In fact, this is not the case, boys choose a mate to have requirements for appearance, but not as high as everyone thinks.
But if there is only one blind date every time, there is no then, in this case, girls should pay attention to improving their appearance.
But after the first meeting, if there is a follow-up invitation, it means that the girl's appearance is in line with the requirements of the boy.
If you can't get along in the back, it may be that there is a problem in other links, and the appearance value is not back.
The following is a summary of the ways in which girls are more likely to attract the right person in mate selection.
Note Filtering for valid contacts
In addition to the matching of the hardware mate selection criteria, there is also an intrinsic match.
In reality, girls pay too much attention to external conditions, but ignore the importance of personality run-in, resulting in difficulty getting along.
Or go to the other extreme, only look at the spiritual level of fit and ignore the reality of the match.
Xiaoli is 29 years old, has not been in love, and has not met the right boy.
While she was anxious, she immediately ran three and did not take off the single, while she was anxious that she would not meet the right eye on her blind date for a long time.
I asked her if there was an alternative, and she flipped through the address book for half a day and said to me:
"People who like it can't make an appointment, they don't like it, they don't like it, it's hard to have a good feeling, and as a result, the other party is married."
Effective contacts refer to: feeling, dating, single.
Like Xiaoli's list of these are not valid contacts, married and contract can not be excluded in advance.
The rest to find can be out, they are not exclusive, a look at the photo is very heartwarming boys are a minority, as long as they do not resent, see first and then say, maybe can talk about the spark.
Girls who have never been in love are often too idealistic about their feelings.
So what you have to do is to meet different types of people first, see what kind of people you can attract, what types of people you like, and then find a balance among them.
If the person you like is completely unattractive, it is obvious that the effect will not be good if you want to turn yourself into another person against your heart.
Just like Zhou Nan, the female guest of "Semi-Acquainted Lover", she was very slow and hot at the beginning, and her performance was too restrained, and she tried to create a gentle traditional image of herself.
Rarely interacted with everyone, and after the misunderstanding of the male guest's circle of friends, she did herself back to her original appearance.
Taking out the momentum of the dance teacher, she shines when she works, and she is more comfortable.
Boys are often attracted to her true personality, so that both people are comfortable with each other.
Cross the emotion button
Xiaona blind dates are always not smooth, and when chatting with a blind date man, I saw a news that a school bully was from a single-parent family.
It is not easy for boys to mention children from single-parent families, and Xiaona feels that she has been stabbed, because she is a single-parent family.
So she blurted out: "Do you look down on the children of single-parent families?"
Parents divorced, children can not choose parents, where is the obstacle to you? ”
Even if the other party is very good, Xiaona feels that this person wears colored glasses to see people and does not want to contact people again.
In fact, the blind date inadvertently touched Cortana's emotional button.
In the depths of Her heart, Xiaona has always disliked her identity as a single parent.
When she was a child, others laughed at her, because of the hurt she had been, and when she was mentioned by others as an adult, she preconceived that the other party was malicious and entered a defensive state.
Prevention is easy to hurt people, some people have a lot of emotional buttons, before the backlog of anger, hurt places, once accidentally mentioned, it is easy to get angry.
Someone like Cortana, if you always can't meet the right person, need to practice crossing the emotional button and reconciling with the past.
Get out of the humble and profane mentality and accept the established fact that your parents are divorced.
Don't feel inferior because of this, and don't presuppose or speculate on the position of others, so that you can better meet your own happiness.
Explore the Love Map
When we have completed the process of screening and crossing the emotional buttons, when it comes to dating, we enter the category of love maps.
This process is also a period of ambiguity, if the trust deepens, getting along well will open the door to love.
In the book "Happy Marriage", it is written that couples with high emotional intelligence can immediately know each other's world.
I call this area full of rich life trivia "Love Map."
The term refers to the place in your brain where all the relevant life information about your spouse is stored.
The love map is a long-term indicator that helps us examine whether the other person is worth developing in the long run.
Two people from strange to familiar, to enter into an intimate relationship, it takes a process.
Different growth backgrounds, different personalities and experiences require two people to spend time and energy getting to know each other.
If a girl meets a heartwarming person and wants to attract each other, she needs to improve the love map.
From eating, dressing habits, hobbies, to career planning, life ideals.
The more information you have, the more you know what kind of person the other person is.
Similarly, boys who put girls in their hearts will also remember the preferences mentioned by girls and spend their hearts on pursuing them.
If a guy doesn't have the urge to get to know you, then he's even less likely to fall in love with you.
Girls should choose a mate to distinguish between whether the other party is simply possessive or really loves you.
Pure possessiveness takes up all your time and energy and requires girls to listen to themselves.
People who really love you will be willing to come into you, get to know you, respect you, and seek common ground while reserving differences.
Wang Ziwen said a particularly heart-warming remark:
"In addition to the parents who instinctively love you, there are people in this world who can really love you and deserve to be cherished."
There is no perfect partner in the world, good feelings need to be run-in, even if you don't meet the right person for a while, don't be anxious, make more friends, and open yourself.
When we have the ability to be happy, the Law of Attraction also brings the right person to us.
END
The author | Lu Meiran, doctor of psychology, marriage and family counselor, good at emotional management, emotional intelligence improvement, focus on female growth, accompany you to be the master of emotions, and become a better self.