Bai Wei
There are two bitter female writers in the literary circles of the Republic of China, one is Xiao Hong and the other is Bai Wei.
The former loves the wrong person, and the latter loves the wrong person.
Compared with Xiao Hong, Bai Wei's suffering seems to be more difficult to swallow, and every time the world reads Bai Wei's life, it is also infinite.
Bai Wei is actually the name of a kind of herb, this herb is not remarkable, but it has a tenacious vitality, and its medicinal properties are bitter and cold, non-toxic.
The talented woman Bai Weiren is as her name suggests, and her beauty carries the fragrance of attacking flowers, which once made Lu Xun admire her beauty. But her life was soaked in bitter wine, fate fluctuated, she became a widow at the age of 16, began to enter the literary world at the age of 30, entangled with the playboy Yang Sao in the first half of her life, and lonely to old age in the second half of her life.
Yang Sao is Bai Wei's lover, and Xiao Bai Wei is exactly 7 years old.
A woman's misfortune begins with her original family and sublimates from meeting a man.
First, I was homeless from the beginning
In 1893, Bai Wei was born in Hunan, in fact, her birth is not bad, her father is an enlightened intellectual, he has engaged in revolution, and he has tried to change the social atmosphere, but no matter how flexible, the old habits in his bones cannot be removed, he loves his son and despises his daughter, and regards his daughter's fate as a grass.
Bai Wei, who did not get the pity of her parents, had a non-committal and very humble personality from an early age, and when she was 16 years old, her mother, without her consent, took the initiative to give Bai Wei xu to the sick son of the village head of the hamm, only because when she was watching the play, her mother had benefited from a bowl of rice from the hamm's family.
With the grace of a meal, Bai Wei's life was cheap enough to be worth only such a bowl of rice.
Bai Wei had only one purpose in marrying in the past, that is, to give joy to her seriously ill fiancé, but not long after marrying, her husband died. This is a terrible thing in the countryside, but everyone who walks by points out: "Look, this is the woman of Kefu!" ”
Whenever she heard these words, the mother-in-law was like a mad god possessed, grabbing Bai Wei's hair with her strong and powerful arms, and pressing Bai Wei the ground and rubbing it.
Bai Wei did not have time to be abused by her husband, but was abused by her mother-in-law three times a day. When the mother-in-law stopped, she instructed Bai Wei to boil water and cut firewood to feed the pigs, and a young lady who came out of the bookish family was tortured to the point of being yellow-faced and malnourished, and standing in the wind was simply thinner than huanghua.
Bai Wei (pictured right)
Abiding by it, duty, and three from four virtues are all concepts that have been instilled in the blood since childhood, and 16-year-old Bai Wei does not dare to come at all. One day, my mother came to visit, and when she saw that the skinny Bai Wei was dirty, her eyes were cold, like watching a small monkey, and there was no pity on her face.
This glance made Bai Wei deeply remember in her mind, and she began to waver in the responsibilities of traditional women.
When the humpty mother-in-law broke her glasses again and bit her ankles, Bai Wei escaped from the house without hanging on, and this time, she never returned to the magic cave.
But a married woman is like splashing water, and once she returns home, she will bring shame to her mother's family. Bai Wei remembered from a young age that the melon was ripe, and she knew that home could not be returned, so she packed her bags and went to her second uncle.
Every suffering woman has a patriarchal father and a cold and cowardly mother, fortunately her second uncle stretched out a big hand and pulled Bai Wei out of the mud.
When the second uncle saw his niece, who was still young and had cowardice in his eyes, he also frowned in pain, and then did a big thing that could move Bai Wei for a lifetime- he funded Bai Wei to go to school.
But the huge black hole of the original family always devours Bai Wei, and no matter where she goes, the black hole will follow everywhere. Not long after such a bright and brilliant day, his father ran to the school to force marriage, and Bai Wei, who was facing a great enemy, could only run to the toilet to hide.
His father mobilized everyone to search the entire school, and almost dug the school three feet into the ground, and he did not expect that his daughter was hiding in the stinking toilet.
A few hours later, after her father, who had found nothing, shook his head and left the school, Bai Wei stumbled out of the toilet covered in dirt.
It was the darkest moment of her life, and the girl's self-esteem was shattered by the dirt on her body.
Maybe it's just because of her own girl, so it was wrong from the beginning. Bai Wei thought like this, and shed tears like this, thinking and thinking, one day she suddenly figured it out, so she left everything behind and stepped on the ferry to Japan in spite of herself, planning to make a ceremonial break and farewell with her original family.
Japan's days are bright, and at least for a moment we can forget the unhappiness of the past. Bai Wei, like all the international students who worked and studied at that time, worked as a waiter, did odd jobs, and then used the money she saved to complete her studies.
ferry
With the change of mentality and living environment, Bai Wei began to transform, from a Cinderella who could only speak her hometown dialect to a university bully who was proficient in Japanese, pedagogy, history, philosophy and Buddhism.
Such a woman shines everywhere she goes.
But unfortunately, she met a man in Japan, thanks to this man, Bai Wei's fate took a sharp turn and fell into a new abyss, he is Bai Wei's lifelong love Of Yang Suo.
Second, I have loved fruitlessly all my life
Yang Sao is from Zhangzhou, which is the Zhangzhou that produced the film.
Yang Sao, like the local famous pill boy, was fierce and extremely hot, making the complaining woman Bai Wei love herself so much that she could not extricate herself. However, any strong medicine can not be taken for a long time, and if you take more organs, your internal organs will be depleted.
Bai Wei loved this man too much, and her last twenty years, she and Yang Sao entangled endlessly, which also made her days more bitter, and finally this bitterness was thick as lacquer, and the spots sprinkled on her second half of her birthday.
Carefully calculated, Yang Sao is a full 7 years younger than Bai Wei, and this relationship between a man and a girl is full of unfairness from the beginning.
Yang Sao and Bai Wei
A small man, who has not experienced all kinds of pain and pain in the world, has not been beaten by society, has been dressed and fed since childhood, and has lived in the glory and favor of his elders, and because of this, his maturity period is far away.
When he met Bai Wei, it happened that Yang Suo lost love, only because yang Sao's favorite goddess rejected his courtship, and Yang Sao, who was bored in life, just happened to meet Bai Wei, who had the same emotional window.
Under the impetus of hormones, the two people of flesh and blood fell in love simply and rudely.
Young Yang Suo actually didn't know much about love, he understood nothing more than the little things between men and women, not to mention that Bai Wei was not Yang Suo's real muse, but he took this woman for granted as the object of catharsis.
But Zhang Ailing said: "The passage to the depths of a woman's soul is the secret garden" So Yang Suo, a young man, accidentally traced up from Bai Wei's secret garden by mistake, "banging" knocked on the door on her lonely heart.
Zhang ailing
They bond, they fall in love, they do the same thing as young lovers, but that's limited to hot love. When the passion receded, Yang Sao, who had returned to God, began to miss the goddess's goodness again, and most importantly, the goddess also began to send qiu bo to him frequently.
For Yang Sao, a look from the muse was enough to make him feel hot and fall immediately.
But on the one hand is the mature and attractive little sister Bai Wei, on the other hand is the muse who will change his mind and play the violin, no matter how to choose, there will be regrets, and the playboy Yang Sao began to make difficulties. In the end, he did not make a single choice and fled to Hangzhou alone.
The boyfriend's non-resignation made Bai Wei, who first experienced the beauty of love, overwhelmed, knowing that her gray life became colorful because of Yang Sao, but when Yang Sao left, she became an outcast.
It would be slow, communication would be slow, and cattle, sheep, carts and horses would go slowly.
Slowly, Bai Wei began to fall in love, and during those lonely and difficult days, she cried and cried, and wrote in a mournful and gentle manner: "I miss you twelve points, miserable and earnest, and tears are like raindrops." ”
"My heart aches. Cry three or four times a day. ”
However, these letters are like sinking stones into the sea, and there is no ripple.
Her love evaporated like a human being, and there was no longer a reply.
Until one day, she received a letter from Hangzhou, this letter was wet and wet, with the smell of the ocean, and did not know how long it took, it was sent to Bai Wei's hands, the letter said: "Twelve points sorry for you, did not say goodbye to you, Mo sad, Mo sad, Mo love you this unlovable brother." ”
Seeing this letter, Bai Wei fell seriously ill, and this was the first time she had been sick for Yang Sao.
After a lovesickness, Bai Wei returned to China to search for a husband, and she traveled many times before she found out yang sao's location in Hangzhou.
Nervous, happy, with feminine shyness, Bai Wei knocked on the door of Yang Sao's apartment.
The door "squeaked" open, and a man stepped out on the front, he was Yang Sao, the man who made Bai Wei crazy and missed.
But the man's face was covered with a complicated cloud, and he looked at the woman in amazement, and then he was extremely angry.
No one knows what really happened to the two of them this time, outsiders only know that Yang Sao pointed at Bai Wei's nose and scolded and grinned and let her go farther.
But he forgot that a woman who had tasted all the pain since childhood had long since become fearless, how could she be timid and withdraw from the rebuke of her lover? Bai Wei is like a savage vine, as long as she grasps a railing, she desperately moves closer to the railing, and she always mistakenly thinks that this is dependence.
But Yang Sao didn't think so, as a playboy, he didn't think about who to be responsible for to the end, the moment he got out of Bai Wei's bed, he had already opened the calm God mode.
When he saw Bai Wei running to stick to himself like a slug, Yang Sao inexplicably resisted. He ran from Japan to Hangzhou, and Bai Wei chased him to Hangzhou. He was tired of Bai Wei and once again ran from Hangzhou to Zhangzhou, and Bai Wei never knew where to hear from him, and continued to chase him to Fujian.
This fiery and intense emotion once made Yang Sao burn endlessly. Therefore, Yang Sao made up a beautiful lie: "I am going to experience a hundred women, and then I am tired and crippled, and I am haggard like a willow that has been moved out of the ward, and I will fall into your arms forever!"
White Rose Image
He came to Bai Wei for a period of three years, after playing with a hundred women, with a full body of disabilities. Originally, it was a prodigal son's prevarication of feelings, but in Bai Wei's eyes, it became a euphemistic and beautiful oath. Only because the last sentence of the lie is: "Believe me, I love you the most!" ”
After this, Yang Sao evaporated from the human world again, leaving no message.
A woman leaves love, just like a flower leaves the rain and dew moist. Not long after, Bai Wei quickly went down again, and after she fell seriously ill, she no longer had the glory of the past.
In the following days, Bai Wei healed her wounds alone, saw a doctor alone, and opened a dead cycle mode between waiting for her lover and healing her wounds.
Two years later, Yang Sao, who had come down from the bed of the other women, fell into Bai Wei's arms with a tired and mutilated Yang Liu's sick body.
Yes, he returned, a year earlier than the agreed deadline.
Yang Sao
This time, Bai Wei still opened her heart and accepted him. Dramatically, this time Yang Sao was really as sick and mutilated as he said--he contracted hualiu disease and passed the disease on to Bai Wei.
Old diseases and new diseases followed like shadows, and in the end this woman did not blame Yang Sao, but turned his heart around as a life-saving medicine.
This kind of love, clear-eyed people seem to know to drink and quench thirst, but Bai Wei is as sweet as a glutton.
At this time, Bai Wei was 34 years old and Yang Suo was 27 years old.
He began to have more sophistication than before, and she was more tolerant than before.
Selected Works of Bai Wei
This time, Yang Sao began to act like a normal boyfriend, taking Bai Wei out and out of pairs, taking her to visit Lu Xun and encouraging her to create, so on the literary scene of the Republic of China, Bai Wei's name began to ring out. Even Lu Xun admired her talent, and did not hesitate to praise her as a fairy writer.
A pair of glasses frames, a pair of melancholy phoenix eyes, with pure makeup, no matter what, Bai Wei can afford the word "fairy". But in that era, even the most beautiful fairies could not escape the confusion of age. Until 1928, the elderly young woman Bai Wei and Yang Suo held a belated wedding.
At that time, Bai Wei was 35 years old, and her relationship with Yang Sao for many years seemed to settle down.
The day before the wedding, Bai Wei happily took wedding photos with Yang Sao, and the two did a lot of things together, they sent out invitations, Zhang Luo booked banquets, and invited many literary celebrities, such as Lu Xun, such as other literary circles. On the wedding day, the audience was full of high-ranking friends, and the brides on the stage were full of women.
Lu Xun
Everyone said words of blessing, but they did not see the groom Yang Sao for a long time.
Everyone was staggered, and Yang Sao did not come to toast.
The whole wedding scene became a one-man show by Bai Wei.
There began to be some commotion in the audience, everyone slowly reacted, Yang Sao became a deserter again, and he once again disappeared without leaving a word.
In an instant, the eyes of sympathy, compassion and ridicule gathered from all directions, and the brush fell on this exquisitely dressed woman wearing a bright cheongsam.
The embarrassment was like a flood beast, instantly surrounding Bai Wei, a 35-year-old woman, as she had walked out of the toilet many years ago.
On that day, Bai Wei did not know how she had forced herself to receive the guests with a smile. In short, her wedding has become the laughing stock of the circle of friends.
If you want to destroy a woman, give her a humiliation, in fact, Yang Sao did it.
Life is a big fight, after the big fight, Bai Weifang woke up like a dream.
In the days without Yang Sao, Bai Wei used a pen as a spear and a paper as a shield, becoming a desperate third lady in the literary and art circles. During that time, Bai Wei wrote countless works and compiled his and Yang Sao's love letters into a book called "Last Night".
However, at this moment, Bai Wei's illness became more and more serious, and dozens of diseases were mixed together, making Bai Wei often in pain to the point of not being able to walk, because Yang Sao's flower willow disease made Bai Wei even more painful.
In order to cure the disease, Bai Wei sold her property, hung ink on her neck and insisted on writing, and when all the family property was sold out, Bai Wei could only ask her friends in the literary world for help. Kind friends sympathized with Bai Wei and donated money for her together, and xiao Hong, who was sick and pitiful, also helped Bai Wei through the difficulties.
Xiao Hong
When she was most depressed, she almost returned to the Western Heavens several times. However, this tenacious white flower finally experienced various life and death tests and stubbornly survived to the end.
Unfortunately, fate once again pushed Yang Sao in front of Bai Wei, who was covered in scales.
In 1938, Yang Suo, who had disappeared for ten years, took the initiative to come to Shanghai and found Bai Wei, who was 38 years old and Bai Wei was 45 years old.
Yes, Yang Sao was tired of playing, and Bai Wei was also tired. For Yang Sao's arrival, Bai Wei was no longer as happy as when she was young.
When he knew that Bai Wei was fighting against the disease, the playboy took the initiative to take Bai Wei to the residence, and also asked the best doctor to take good care of her. When Bai Wei was unconscious, Yang Sao,losing her plain clothes, held her hand and prayed to the gods. When Bai Wei woke up, he boiled soup and fed medicine and took good care of it. After experiencing this kind of life and death several times, Bai Wei was miraculously cured.
Statue of Bai Wei
Regaining her health, she looked at the man she had loved to death and lived in front of her, and her eyes no longer had the light of the past, allowing the man to confess to herself over and over again with belated affection.
Love this abyss, Bai Wei never wanted to touch it again in this life.
When she looked at Yang Sao with a flat face, she said: "From now on, the root of hatred you planted in my heart has been completely uprooted, and the infinite pain you planted in me has dissipated..." Yang Sao also knew that the love between the two of them for nearly twenty years was time to complete the final ceremony.
This time, Bai Wei took the initiative to let him go.
With endless sorrow and guilt, he went south to Nanyang to marry an overseas Chinese, gave birth to three sons, and died in the spring of 1957.
Bai Wei let go of all attachments, went north to the great wilderness to find freedom in the vast world, and her former lover ran to the future of the last south and north, and disappeared forever in their respective worlds.
In 1983, when Bai Wei was ninety years old, she met several unusual visitors, who were Yang Suo's son. When she heard that the ancestral home of several young people was Zhangzhou, Fujian, Bai Wei smiled softly and said, "My former lover was a Native of Zhangzhou. ”