Loving someone is like having "soft ribs" and "armor" at the same time, and the moment of being given trust and being loved also gives the other party a "weapon" that can hurt themselves, which is like Bai Wei and Yang Sao's acquaintance.
Love is always selfish, if what you give me and everyone else is the same weight, then I would rather not, it is like the end of the story Bai Wei Tie left Yang Sao with his heart.
Pictured | poet Yang Sao
One
Yang Sao was born in a poor peasant family in Hua'an County, Fujian Province, and because his father died early, he inherited from childhood to his cousin Yang Hongpan. Yang Hongpan was a late Qing dynasty man, and it was rare to attach great importance to Yang Sao's education. Yang Sao began to study in a private school, and because of his talent and intelligence, he was also diligent and inquisitive, coupled with the influence of his adoptive father, he was especially interested in literature, history and art. After graduating from the attached primary school in 1913, Yang Sao entered the preparatory department of Tingzhanglong Road Normal School, and in 1914, he entered the Provincial No. 8 Middle School.
In 1918, after graduating from Junior High School, Yang Sao studied in Tokyo, Japan, and successively entered preparatory schools in Japan and China, East Asia, and then entered the Tokyo Higher Normal School. In terms of culture and education, Yang Sao benefited from the attention of his adoptive father and has been enjoying systematic cultivation.
It should be said that his adoptive parents have always been very good to Yang Sao, he has never worried about tuition and livelihood, even if he later obtained official fees in Japan, the family still sent him money.
Bai Wei's life experience is the opposite of Yang Sao's.
Pictured | Bai Wei
Bai Wei was born in Hunan, and her original name was Huang Zhang. Her father, Huang Han, studied in Japan in his early years, joined the League, and participated in the Xinhai Revolution, so the Huang sisters could study from an early age.
However, the Huang family couple is a typical "yin sheng yang decline" in family life, especially on the issue of daughter's marriage, Huang Han adopted the attitude of a feudal defender, and a wife was the master, and Bai Wei was arranged to marry the Wang family.
Bai Wei naturally did not comply, escaped again and again, was caught again and again, and in the process was actually bitten off by the evil mother-in-law with her mouth and broke a tendon. Fortunately, there is no invincible road in heaven, and the kind uncle sympathizes with her, and finally with the help of her uncle's planning, Bai Wei can escape from the sea of suffering and escape from the Wang family.
The great difficulty did not die, fate favored her, and Bai Wei got the opportunity to go to school. She first entered the Hengyang Third Women's Normal School, and then transferred to the Changsha Women's First Normal School. However, during the study period of the Changsha Women's First Division, the arranged marriage was still like an invisible rope that bound her, and under the urging of the Wang family, her parents still kept forcing her to quit school and return to the Wang family, and even her father did not hesitate to use her social relations to prepare for forcible arrest. Fortunately, with the help of her sister and classmates, Bai Wei escaped from the school's abandoned old toilet and embarked on a journey to study in Japan.
In Japan, Baek first attended the East Asian Japanese Language School and was later admitted to the Ochanomizu High Girls' Normal School in Tokyo.
The tortuous life experience and unhappy marriage encounters have cultivated Bai Wei's strong, courageous and daring character.
Picture | Bai Wei with her father and sister
Two
Their love, in fact, is the same as their acquaintance, the process is natural, the result is natural, during which no one forces anyone forces anyone, who demands whom, let alone any external forces participate.
That year, Bai Wei was 30 years old and Yang Suo was 24 years old. They met in Tokyo, Japan, where they were all students studying in Japan.
"Age is never a problem" — In 1924, during the cherry blossom season, some Chinese students in Japan were holding a small party in a park on the outskirts of Tokyo.
On that day, Bai Wei wore a light blue collarless dress with a white rose on her chest, which looked simple and pure, vulgar and elegant. Bai Wei is born beautiful, her delicate skin, exquisite features, and well-proportioned figure make Bai Wei look more "fresh and tender"; and Yang Sao, who is originally tall, wears a black cape, appears more fresh and handsome, and personable.
They strolled together on the boulevards of the park, unconsciously chatting about their hometown...
Perhaps they were in a foreign land, and during that encounter, the emotions of these two "strangers" instantly churned up in their feelings at first sight. Yang Sao also unconsciously told Bai Wei about his life - he told Bai Wei that he could never forget that he was born poor, and he often felt inferior and depressed, and he felt very pitiful. Bai Wei encouraged Yang Sao to face life squarely and live a strong life, and she warned Yang Sao with her unfortunate experience: "To be a person, you always have to fight with all kinds of tragic and painful environments, and there is no ideal life in the world waiting for people to enjoy." Only the life that struggles out of hardship is the real life. ”
At that moment, the Bai Wei in front of Yang Sao's eyes was more like the moonlight in the night, suddenly shining into his life.
Thousands of gold are easy to get, and it is rare to know the voice, and since then their hearts have been closer.
At that time, they were both suffering from unrequited love, and the rare empathy in their emotional fermentation catalyzed the spark of two broken hearts colliding in a foreign country.
For Bai Wei, the love in her mind may be more of a warmth, moisture and support. People who have experienced pain still carry a "thorn" on their body when they hug the next person. The bits and pieces of persecution, destruction and pain she suffered were a "knife" that was deeply rooted in her heart.
At that time, although Yang Sao was in the situation of unrequited love, his emotional life was empty as if it were a "blank piece of paper". The "people outside the city" are not only novel, but also passionate, romantic and burning.
In such a sudden era, the vast majority of young men and women have unlimited freshness and longing for love.
Three
When the May Fourth Movement broke out, the May Fourth boom had a great impact on young people like Yang Suo, not to mention that he himself was in a foreign country that was much freer in thought and behavior than in China.
Therefore, in addition to studying his own lessons, he felt the enthusiasm of the times and the ideas of progress by reading the "New Youth" transmitted from China; later, under the recommendation of Li Chuli, he eagerly read the works of World Famous Writers such as Turgenev.
Yang Suo, under the dual encouragement of these progressive ideas and romantic styles and literary works, composed a large number of poems.
At the same time, he is almost immersed in an artistic imagination of love.
In his imagination, love, like art, is sacred, and even love is art, which has nothing to do with worldly life.
In his letter to Bai Wei, he said: "If we are like ordinary lovers, warmly embracing and stupidly moving, I am afraid that I will find a pile of dead ashes in an instant!" "I seem to have said to you that it is the woman I love the most, and I would never want sex to happen to her." So, dear Sister Su! Sometimes I am very eager to turn into a hot spring breeze and roll your beautiful petals into my arms, but on the one hand, I can't make progress, like a heron bird in a cold field that cowers. For, as you say, I am afraid of destroying all the pure beauty in the middle of a lover's kiss. ”
Yang Suo's "Platonic" view of love, in today's view, in that era of suddenly getting love and loosening, people's freedom of sudden love is more than ecstatic, turbulent and enjoyable, and at the same time a little overwhelmed.
In the love letter, he also made no secret of his contradictions and pain: "Su, contradictory, naturally demands the opposite sex in an instant, and we ask for eternal lovers: isn't this self-pleading?" Nature's requirements are easy to meet, but our requirements are hard to come by! ”
The "requirements of nature" he refers to the needs of the body, and the so-called "instantaneous opposite sex" is used to meet the "requirements of nature"; and the "eternal lover" is two people who are married as partners, Yang Sao believes that this is self-inflicted suffering. Telling Bai Wei this in the letter is nothing more than a blunt revelation that he can't let go of the life of the wind that he wants to enter.
A coffee shop waitress, with only a few professional winks, let Yang Sao leave the lover in love behind. To Bai Wei's questioning, he only defended: "I only love you alone." Love and liking are two different things. For other women, I just like to like, why should you be so careful with your eyes. ”
"So, like you, I like this today, and I like that tomorrow, how do you feel?"
Yang Sao lowered his head and did not answer, but he still had no remorse.
Under such a blow, Bai Wei fell ill, could not find out the cause, and the injection was ineffective. Yes, what drugs can cure heart disease!
Just at this moment, Yang Sao sent a letter, "Twelve points sorry for you, I did not say goodbye to you." Yang Sao left Tokyo to return to China. She knew the whereabouts of her lover, and her condition gradually improved.
Love letters and bloody tears flew from Tokyo to West Lake:
When does the moon come out in the middle of the night rain? The rain sprinkles sorrow and sorrow, and the sicker the brain. Fake sleep all night, with eyes looking at the West Lake, the heart is shocked, but is not the sigh you sent by the lake? yes! On my hair hanging in the slightest, hangs a green-clothed mandala gloomy poet you! My eyes seemed to be confused at the bottom of the sea, and my hands were dragged away by the wind demon and rain monster...
With the arrival of the letter, Bai Weiren, who had just recovered from a serious illness, also came to Hangzhou, and she found Yang Sao, whom she thought about day and night, but what she got was a merciless insult from him.
Yang Sao fled to Zhangzhou again, and this time, he left a message for Bai Wei, "Su, believe me, I love you the most!" But after I've experienced a hundred women, and then I'm tired and crippled, haggard like a willow that has been moved out of a ward, and fall into your arms forever! You wait, I'll be looking for you in three years! ”
Bai Wei wanted to chase after Zhangzhou, but she couldn't afford to be sick, and still dragged her sick body to write a letter to Yang Sao. Yang Sao fled to Singapore again, and Bai Wei's letter was still chased...
In this chase of "Huang Qiu Feng", Bai Wei wrote bluntly: "Love brother, I must love you, I must interact with you." Respect my innocence and don't kill my innocent and lovely soul! But this strong thought made Yang Sao feel extremely stressed and painful, but he didn't seem to feel the deep affection in it, and Bai Wei stopped it.
One afternoon in mid-1927, Bai Wei was writing in a rented pavilion when the landlord shouted Bai Wei's name and said there were guests.
She answered the landlord's cry as she stood up and looked out the window...
She was stunned, and she saw a familiar figure--Yang Suo was waving at her. She still stood there stunned and watched Yang Sao enter the room. At that moment, she thought of his abandonment again and again, of the torture he had inflicted on herself, and the first thing that crossed her mind was not excitement, but fear.
"How are you?" When Yang Sao only said a soft word, this fear disappeared in an instant.
When Bai Wei thought that he could finally stay by her side safely, Yang Sao once again ran away from the wedding scene.
If the lost feelings cannot be saved, at least the last dignity is protected. This time, Bai Wei made up her mind that no matter what, she would not set the "ashes" in her heart on fire again.
Picture | the engagement photo of Bai Wei and Yang Sao
Four
Fortunately, during yang sao's cohabitation with Bai Wei, he did something that had a huge impact on Bai Wei's life - that is, to introduce her to Mr. Lu Xun.
In 1926, her three-act play "Su Fei", under the pseudonym "Su Ru", was published in the first volume of the seventeenth volume, "Novel Monthly" and the same volume of "Language Silk". The script "Playing the Ghost Tower" was published in the inaugural issue of "Running Current", and her name was once listed in the journal with Yu Dafu, Rou Shi, Feng Xuefeng, etc., thus becoming the "first-class figure in the literary world" at that time; followed by the long novel "Bomb and Bird" and the long poem "Song of Spring Shoots", which was serialized in the journal through Lu Xun...
With the help and support of Mr. Lu Xun, Bai Wei not only became a new literary star that rose rapidly in Shanghai Beach, but also embarked on the road of revolutionary literature and art, becoming an early member of the "Left League" and the "Left Wing Drama League", and in fact became a revolutionary.
And Yang Sao left Singapore again after the Anhui South Incident, and for a long time after that, his life in Nanyang was extremely difficult, but he had to take 50 yuan from his salary of less than 70 yuan a month to send to Bai Wei in China, perhaps he wanted to make up for his past irresponsibility!
Bai Wei replied in a letter to Yang Sao: "You have now become a completely good person, under this transformation, from now on, the root of hatred you planted in my heart has been completely uprooted, and the infinite piercing pain you planted in me has disappeared... I am happy and I will be healthy day by day! This cannot but be deeply grateful for your transformation! The politeness between the words reflected the complex in Bai Wei's heart that could not be repaired.
Although Yang Sao has now become a complete "good man", the fact that he was once a "thin lover" will never be erased. Bai Wei, who had entrusted the entire first half of his life to him, could no longer forgive him, let alone face him.
Even if the scene goes back to the pink period, it once again recalls the heart-pounding picture: the boy leans gently into her ear and murmurs, "You don't know how much I love you." I love your heart, your spirit, your shadow. Love your hard-working personality. Therefore, my soul is also completely surrendered to you. You are the most ideal woman I have found in this world. Before the girl could react, he said, "Do you love me?" The girl replied to him shyly in a soft voice: "I love you too, you are the freshest, purest, unsacky male I have found." ”
Even at that time, they all felt that they had finally met the love they had longed for...
In the second half of this prodigious woman's life, although she enjoyed excellent material treatment with her revolutionary qualifications and literary achievements, she never married. On the other side, Yang Sao, after learning that he could not recover his broken feelings, finally settled down and found a "resting place" to form his own family.
In the summer of 1983, Yang Sao's son Yang Beibei interviewed Bai Wei to write a biography of his father, saying that he was from Zhangzhou. Bai Wei immediately said, "My former lover was from Zhangzhou..." She added with a smile, "I only have this lover." ”
In the end, Wei's true love for Yang Sao is still based on her life.
The image reference comes from the network