Adolescent depression is becoming more and more common, many parents do not dare to believe that their children will get depression, think that children eat well, drink well and have fun, in addition to learning there is no big trouble, how can it be depressed?
In the face of children's depressive symptoms, many parents are at a loss and do not know what to do to help their children get out of depression.
There was an adolescent girl who suffered from depression, and her mother brought her to psychological counseling.
Mom cried
My daughter is 15 years old, a senior in high school (in fact, she has been out of school for 1 year), and last year she was diagnosed with depression in the hospital, and the doctor prescribed medicine, but she did not eat on time.
The child used to be quite well-behaved, but now her temper is not good at all, and it feels as if she is not obedient to us with her illness.
Let her run unwillingly, let her study hard is not willing, not even go to school, sleep every day until the sun is three poles and do not get up, either closed in the room in a daze, lying in bed to play games, or crying, nor love to take care of people, I now suspect that she is pretending to be sick.
She didn't have the perseverance to do anything, I often told her about the importance of learning, I hope she will work hard and not eat the hardships of life, but unexpectedly, she said that I forced her, and also took a knife to cut her wrist.
I was really devastated, why did she torture us like this?
I don't know how long she will be "sick", she will not get well again, what will happen to her studies?
I was also under a lot of pressure to spend that much money. Why is she so pretentious?
Why not be considerate of your parents and get better quickly?
Guangzhou heard about the interpretation of psychological counseling
I feel that for her daughter's depression, this mother is very difficult to accept, and it is difficult to understand the child's various behaviors.
It is understandable that the child has depression and the mother is very anxious and worried.
However, the more blame and preaching, the more anxiety and pressure are transmitted to the child, which is not conducive to the child's recovery.
When a child develops depression, different parents will have different reactions.
Some parents, like the mother above, cannot accept the child's situation and cannot understand the child's discomfort and pain.
When children are immersed in the game world, unwilling to go out and unwilling to go to school, parents are even more anxious and helpless;
Especially when the time passes day by day, the child misses the opportunity to go to school, and the parents are extremely anxious.
Some parents will begin to understand the knowledge of depression, take their children to find psychological counseling, and will also begin to reflect on their own shortcomings in family education, try to understand their children, and make certain changes, such as no longer losing their temper with their children, reducing the requirements for their children, and so on.
However, a child's depressive state can persist for a while, and adolescent depression can leave the whole family in distress and helplessness.
What should parents do when a child is depressed?
Adolescent psychological counselors pointed out that parents should learn more psychological knowledge about depression, understand the process of psychological counseling, and actively cooperate with psychological counseling.
01
Understand that the child is sick
Common reactions to "depression":
"Your living conditions are very good, you are not satisfied, what else do you want to do?"
"Depression? You're a good kid with good food, drink and fun, what troubles can you have?"
"Depression is just thinking too much"
"Depression is temperament, weak ability to resist stress, willpower is not strong enough"
……
People also go to people who are in a depressed state:
"Whoever doesn't have a bad time, you want to open something just fine"
"Just go out and get some fresh air"
It's hard to imagine:
How much stress resistance a person needs to fight depression, how much willpower is needed, how exhausted and powerless it is.
The most difficult and difficult thing about depression is that it is completely incomprehensible and blamed.
In fact, depressed people have fallen into deep self-blame, think that others can be fine, why do I have a problem?
They will deny themselves, feel bad, and cause trouble for others.
If parents do not understand that the child is really sick, but instead accuse and demand it, it will make the child fall into loneliness and despair.
If parents want to help their children, they must first understand that their children are sick, and sometimes suffering from mental illness is more painful than physical illness.
If a person has gastroenteritis, it will have diarrhea, and no one asks him to be strong and not to have diarrhea.
But if the psychology is sick, but the person concerned is required to be brave, strong, sunny, if he can do it, will he still get depression?
Therefore, do not easily persuade the child, some persuasion although it is for the good of the child, the starting point is goodwill,
But for those who fall into depression, they do not need the great truth of the people around them at all, and this understatement is a denial of great suffering.
02
Understand the changes depression brings to your child
Depression can make a difference in three ways:
First, changes in the body, decreased appetite, fatigue, multiple pains on the body, no corresponding diseases, sleep disorders, drowsiness or difficulty falling asleep, and large changes in weight.
The second is emotional changes, depression, depression, no interest in things, pessimism and self-blame, memory and attention loss, and despair about life.
The third is the change in behavior, slow action, slow response, loneliness and non-interaction with people, silence and anxiety.
Many children's behaviors are manifestations of depression, and some children are reluctant to go to school because of their memory loss, loss of interest, and exhaustion and weakness.
Some children are addicted to games, so that parents think that TA is addicted to games, in fact, it is because the children lack happiness, in this way to divert attention.
Some children will have self-harm and self-harm behavior because they are too painful and sad;
Some children will have physical discomfort, for example, headache and dizziness, chest tightness and panic, gastrointestinal discomfort, go to the hospital to check and there is no problem, in fact, the child is not pretending to be sick, but the physical symptoms brought about by depression;
Some children will have sleep disorders, although they sleep more every day, but they are not tired.
Some children will have social barriers, and they do not have much contact with past friends, so that parents think that their children have interpersonal problems, but in fact, depression causes these problems.
Many times, parents will reverse the causal relationship.
Since the main task of the adolescent stage is learning, in general, parents, teachers and even children themselves have high requirements for them.
But for depressed children, on the one hand, they want to learn, on the other hand, they are afraid to learn, and when their depressive symptoms worsen and they fall into major depression, they cannot return to school.
Because they are too afraid, some children not only can't go to school, they can't even mention the word "go to school", but they also hide books, because they will avoid some things related to study and exams.
In this case, parents will mistakenly think that the child is pretending to be sick, or think that the child has a problem with personality, bad behavior habits or is bored with school.
In fact, it is more because of depression that there is such a performance.
03
Put the restoration of physical and mental health first
I saw an example before:
At the clinic, a girl told the doctor for a long time how she was uncomfortable, how she hurt herself and attempted suicide, and lifted her arm to show the doctor, which was covered with dense wounds.
Her mother still asked repeatedly, "So when can she go back to school?" They are all in their third year of high school, and they can't afford to delay their studies!"
The girl angrily asked her mother, "What would happen to you if I did die?"
For depressed people, living is already a difficult thing. If a person is seriously ill, can he still be asked to go to work?
The priority now is not to go to school, but to help children get out of depression.
What parents have to do is not to put pressure on their children, but to reduce pressure on their children.
For example, during illness, do not emphasize the importance of learning, do not urge children to go to school, and do not talk about the ideal of life goals;
Avoid criticizing some of the negative behaviors, emotions, or attitudes that your child has developed as a result of depression.
For depressed patients, the mental burden as light as a feather will bring unbearable psychological pressure.
Only by supporting the understanding of children can children really relax and overcome the disease.
At this time, if the child can continue to go to school, he can go to school while treating.
If the child cannot go to school, restoring physical and mental health should be the first priority.
04
Actively cooperate with the work of psychological counselors
Take your child to find a professional counselor and accompany your child out of depression together.
In severe cases, it is necessary to find a regular hospital to cooperate with drug treatment.
Parents should also adjust their emotions and mentality, and take good care of their physical and mental state in order to provide the most powerful support for their children.
On this basis, listen more to care, support and be considerate, and give the child some warmth, but do not need deliberate encouragement.
Let your child know: "It's not your fault to be sick, you're innocent".
Tell your child, "Whatever happens to you, I'll be there for you."
Family understanding, companionship, support, no pressure, no evaluation, no preaching, no accusations, and finding professional help are the best ways to help children get out of depression.
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