This mom is a reader of mine, and I have been consulting here for a while, and my mother has written down her mental journey and hopes to help everyone.
I am a serious and responsible, but strict and almost harsh mother, always high standards and strict requirements for children, almost rarely consider the children's feelings, always in the name of "love children" to oppress children. But "those who come out of the mix always have to pay back", in the primary school stage can not see any changes in the child, sunshine, active. But in junior high school, the problem quickly appeared, the thought was negative, disgusted, rebellious, and it felt like a completely changed person.
Nervous and anxious, I once again remembered Mr. Pooh's book "Conform to Psychology, Children Are More Cooperative", so I turned it out and read it again. I have paid attention to it a long time ago, and I have read it, and I may not have felt the seriousness of the child's problem at that time, so I just read it extensively, and did not carefully appreciate its essence, nor did I do it according to the book. Now that the child's problem is obvious, he realizes many of his misconceptions and cognitions.
Knowing that many of the child's problems are actually the problems of parents, repeated reading, repeated thinking, repeated thinking, according to the book bit by bit, and consulted with Mr. Pooh for a month. With the help, enlightenment and efforts of the teacher,
Slowly changed their many wrong cognitions, excessive attachment to learning, and attitudes towards children, learn to understand, respect children, accept the child's current situation, consider the child's feelings, and do their best to conform to the child. The child is gradually no longer so rebellious, and I said a lot of his troubles and grievances, I really feel very uncomfortable, do not know what I have done to the child over the years, think that I love the child very much, pay attention to and pay attention to it wholeheartedly, but as a result, the child is depressed, painful, wronged, I think rebellion may be his last straw of self-help, if he does not rebel, do not strongly resist, we parents will not reflect on their mistakes, borrow Mr. Pooh's thinking, expose the child's problems as soon as possible Parents can adjust themselves early to reduce the harm to their children.
Let go of the excessive attachment to learning, their anxious heart has gradually calmed down, the emotions are no longer so easy to get excited, so easy to get angry, even if they occasionally get angry, they will apologize to the child in time, tell the child: "No matter what the reason, the mother's tantrum is not right, the mother is also the first time to be a mother, but also in the learning and growth, it is inevitable to make mistakes, please forgive!" "After every anger, I will write a diary in time to reflect on my mistakes, find my own wrong habitual thinking, and change my cognition. Under the encouragement and influence of Mr. Pooh, constantly communicate with the child, understand the child from the perspective of the child, find that many things are really excusable, slowly more and more understanding and acceptance of the child, the child and I are getting closer and closer, often said to me: "Mom, it is good to have you!" "I am deeply relieved.
After a period of hard work, the child's rebellion disappeared, and he often played in front of me like when he was a child, knowing that the child no longer suppressed himself, more and more happy, and the guilt finally let go. Recently, I found that the children who used to be more self-sufficient and stubborn always like to discuss and discuss with me before doing anything, which is really a bit of a surprise and surprise.
Maybe it is the mood is better, the pressure is less, the child's learning state is getting better and better, the thinking is no longer so negative, the tasks assigned every day will try their best to complete, occasionally not completed, think about the teacher's "rules should be flexible", no longer excessive accusations against him. But I will find that the next day the child will do better, remembering the teacher's saying that "children are all thinking well", it seems that this is indeed the case.
Grateful for the guidance of the teacher, but also grateful for the writings of Mr. Pooh, I have read many parenting books, I feel that this book is the most grounded, the most feasible, is that you and my children will be rescued from the quagmire of the predicament, otherwise we are still confused, confused, internal friction, living a vicious circle of days.
Although I still have many deficiencies, children still have some problems, but their hearts are quiet a lot, set a lot, understand that "education does not have to be only for the day, you can take it slowly", so you are no longer so anxious, you can have confidence and calmly face it, and thank the teacher for help again!