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Psychologists believe that the role of the mother can be understood on two levels, on the one hand, the real mother, and on the other hand, the mother archetype.
The mother in reality is the mother we see in our lives, the one who gave birth to us, and the one who cannot be replaced by others in our lives. The so-called mother archetype is the concept proposed by psychologists, and the mother archetype comes from the concept of the collective unconscious of the human body.
It is the idea that groups of human beings, unconsciously, seek nourishment and protection. And this need for nourishment and protection is best suited to manifest itself in the image of a mother.
In addition, we must know that whether it is a mother in real life or the so-called mother archetype mentioned above, it is not a simple good character, but an image of the unity of good and evil.
Therefore, the mother is both the source of human suffering and the destination of human happiness.
The mother is both a kind and gentle character and a vicious and vicious character. The intertwined role of the mother's two-sided psychology constitutes an image that has a huge impact on individual growth.
When we understand that the role of the mother has a bilinearity, we must clearly understand that the relationship between you and the mother may be your destiny and difficult to change.
Gorky once said, "All the glory and pride in this world comes from the mother." But Freud's analysis of the relationship between the individual and the mother, the leading figure in the school of psychoanalysis, deserves to be learned and understood by all.
The positive influence of mothers on their children
The mother has a great influence on the child, first of all, the mother's love for the child is unconditional, because it is her own offspring. Children receive the approval of their mothers, not because of what they have done, but because of themselves.
The mother's unconditional approval usually leads to a sense of victory and success in childhood, and this feeling has a great chance of affecting the child's life.
Because this sense of victory and success will push people to burst out of their own talents and energy. Thus helping the child to awaken at the level of consciousness and become his own achievement, he himself helps the child to awaken at the level of consciousness.
The negative effects of mothers on children
The mother's unconditional love and praise for the child will also bring some negative effects to the child.
First of all, the child does not have the ability to distinguish between right and wrong in childhood, so when unconditional love and praise cannot be relied upon, and when he comes to want it, a kind of repression and insecurity will arise in the child's heart.
For a month after the baby is born, the baby is unable to completely isolate itself from the mother, they can only perceive certain parts of their body, but they cannot perceive the complete self.
Under this premise, the infant, as an individual, has no complete self and no complete object.
The so-called object, for the infant, is something that can satisfy its own needs. For children, object relations refer to the relationship between people. Object relationship refers to a pattern of interpersonal communication within the individual's mind.
From the third to eighth month after birth, the baby will be very dependent on the mother and will show a state of complete synchronization with the mother in terms of emotional expression.
It is not until the baby reaches the age of three that it gradually becomes aware of the difference between self and others. At this stage, children will gradually realize that the state between themselves and their mother is separate, and they will begin to try to establish contact with themselves and the outside world, and no longer fear losing themselves.
The role of the mother is very important in the growth of the child.
When the infant goes from being unable to fully perceive himself, to the stage of symbiosis and coexistence with the mother, and then to the toddler fully understands that the mother and himself are not one, but a part of the outside world, all the connections and details between the individual and the mother determine the way he perceives the outside world.
When the mother cares for the child in a way for many years, the child himself will fall into this mode, and in the long run, he will develop a similar thinking mode and behavior style to the mother, and even maintain a high degree of consistency in terms of world view and values. It can be seen that your relationship with your mother determines the trajectory of your life.
This consistency not only maintains spiritual unity, but also maintains a certain similarity in behavior. Therefore, people often say that a person's attitude towards his mother, the way he gets along with his mother in life, is the habit and way that person treats the outside world.
If a person is always harmonious and warm in the process of getting along with his mother, then this person will also be very harmonious with others and the outside world in life.
However, if a person always has contradictions in the process of getting along with his mother, then this person will also be impatient when dealing with others and external things in life, and it is easy to produce contradictions and conflicts.
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Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
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参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205