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I was born in a very traditional "male outside, female inside" family, my father is responsible for earning money to support the family, my mother is responsible for doing housework, watching children, so I subconsciously think that doing housework is a woman's business.
However, I especially did not like to do housework, so I set up a wish from an early age to be determined not to be a housewife like my mother when I grew up.
However, after entering the marriage and family, although I have been working hard in the workplace, I have unconsciously taken on all the housework, which may be derived from the deep-rooted identification with the original family in the subconscious, and later I was even obsessed with tidying up, and I was tireless in liking the family.
At the same time, I instinctively did not cultivate my son's ability to do housework, but hoped that he would be able to achieve success in his career and get ahead in the future, and he could do big things instead of doing small things like housework.
Later, through self-learning and growth, I found that doing housework is of particular significance to the growth of children, and it does not conflict with children to do big things when they grow up, but it is conducive to children doing big things.
As a result, my concept has undergone a fundamental change, began to deliberately cultivate my son's ability and habits to do housework, my principle is that in the future, I can not do it when I grow up, but I can't not, nor can I do without this experience and experience, and I can't miss the growth that can be obtained in housework.
A study in the United States found that the more economically incompetent men are, the less likely they are to do housework. The more men earn, the more willing they are to take the initiative to take on housework.
A study by the University of Cambridge also showed that being able to do housework has become an indicator of mate selection for many women.
- "Raising Boys"
The benefits of having boys do housework are at least 3 of the following:
01 It can cultivate children's ability to live independently and make children feel more secure.
In addition to running a business, everyday life is also important to us, and I think it's one of the most important sources of our happiness.
Boys who have been doing housework since childhood have a strong ability to live independently, and when they grow up, even if they encounter unsatisfactory dilemmas in their careers, if they can handle family life in an orderly manner, the state of life will not be worse, and they can also obtain the inner nourishment of life and promote the peak and turn of the career.
My son usually cooks some simple meals and is also very good at cleaning up. When I was busy, he would help peel onions and pound garlic, wash fruits and vegetables, steam rice to cook porridge, mop the floor of the house, and even bring a tomato egg and cook a noodle.
If a child has the ability to do housework, his heart will be more determined and will be very secure. When the parents are not at home, the child can take care of himself and arrange his own life and living arrangements, and the parents will be very relieved to go out.
02 It can help children gain self-esteem and make children feel more valuable.
If a child is pampered by his parents from a young age and will not do anything, then the child's heart is very weak, he has no contribution to the whole family, his sense of value and presence will be missing, and the texture of life is not thick enough.
A few days ago, I took my son out of the house to fight a round trip, and when I arrived home at night, it was already 9 o'clock, and I received an urgent temporary revision task on the way back. I hurriedly made some simple meals, thinking that I would have to wash the dishes after eating, and after washing the dishes before I could change the draft, I was very irritable in my heart, and I had a stomach full of grievances.
Of course my son is also tired, and our daily agreement is that he is responsible for washing the dishes twice a week, but I think that in this case he may not want to wash it, and he must also want to rest early.
But when I said let him wash the dishes, he agreed without saying a word. So, I put down the dishes and chopsticks and climbed directly to the computer to start working.
He quickly finished packing up and walked out of the kitchen, looking at his calm and calm demeanor, my heart was full of emotions. Although my son did not say anything, I knew that his heart was very happy, and he realized his own value. When his mother is busy, he can share it for his mother, he can do his part, he is contributing to the family, and this matter is meaningful.
Many times, we don't want our children to do housework, on the one hand, we are worried that the children will not do well, they do not have the patience to cultivate their children's abilities, and they are worried that it will be more troublesome and time-consuming for the children to clean up the mess. On the other hand, we are worried that the child refuses and is unwilling to do it, and we cannot bear this frustration.
However, as long as we have more patience, children are actually happy to learn. And when necessary, for example, when we need help from our children, children are also very willing to help.
Therefore, rest assured and bold to let the child do housework, this is also the stage for the child to show value at home, and at the same time, the child will have a greater sense of responsibility and belonging.
03 It can bring us closer to boys and promote the development of parent-child relationships.
I learned after reading the book "Raising Boys" that sitting face to face and chatting is something that girls like, and boys don't like to talk about their lives with their parents face to face, which will make them embarrassed and blush, and they prefer to chat with their parents while they are busy.
When they do things with you, they will involuntarily tell you many things that interest you, which may be difficulties in learning, or it may be a girl who likes him.
Therefore, parents who want to be close to their sons may wish to start by training their sons to do housework, which can help him unload his ideological baggage and share his happiness. If you deprive your child of the opportunity to do housework, you will miss the perfect opportunity to promote parent-child relationships, miss out on a lot of fun, and miss out on something very meaningful in your child's life.
I have a son who can do housework, which is something I am proud of, and I believe that this good habit I have developed since childhood will definitely benefit him for the rest of his life.
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